What are the warning signs of a toxic relationship that you need to pay attention to? You may not even be aware that you’re in one.
Toxic relationships can be deceptive — on the surface, they can look perfect. However, deep down, you can probably feel that something is not right.
Too often, it’s easier to shut off from what is really happening, in order to avoid facing what is really going on.
So, if you see these signs of a toxic relationship, don’t ignore them.
He is envious of your success
Do you have a partner who acts polite but underneath they harbour envy and hate towards you? Do they feel intense pain when you are successful or happy? They may be secretly competitive or comparing themselves to you.
Many who feel unsatisfied with their life will hide how disappointed they feel when others have success or share the good news.
Toxic partners feel the excruciating pain of feeling inadequate and they cover it up by smiling, not say anything, or comment on something negative to minimize their disappointment to protect themselves from the painful hit to their self-esteem.
They feel like a failure around other people’s success and it highlights how they’ve not met their own expectations. It seems unfair that others have done better — it’s a competition or a race to be the best.
You cannot rise above them or they will crush you with destructive envy.
He criticizes or devalues you in order to rise above you
If you’re in a toxic relationship with someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they can feel pleasure when they put down the success of others, by defeating them or making devaluing comments so they can rise above them.
So they do not feel deflated or inadequate, they end up criticizing others in order to modulate their fragile self-esteem. They inflate their grandiosity to convince others of how good they are.
Since they feel superior, they openly disapprove of others.
He turns the problem around and makes it your fault to cover his actions
Toxic people blame others for their mistakes and find ways to cover up their actions so they’re never at fault. They will find a way to turn the problem around to be your fault.
They avoid the humiliation of shame-induced judgment by distorting the truth and avoid taking responsibility to cover up their mistakes. They do this by finding fault in others, whom they blame for their shortcomings.
They lost their job because their boss was threatened by them. Their ex-partner was the crazy one. They cheated because their partner never gave them sex when they wanted it.
You’re told that you should get over issues and not bring them up. It is always the other person’s fault and they’re perfect.
He pushes his view to prove he’s right, not considering your point of view
You may be falsely convinced that they are always right, but they seek admiration when others need them as the expert for advice.
Toxic people and abusers always know better than anyone else, feeling above others.
When they see others as beneath them, they feel special and it takes away the deflating pain of the empty self.
He portrays a false persona to mask who he really is
A toxic relationship feels empty and vacuous since the toxic person cannot open up about themselves. They pretend things are fine, not revealing any weakness.
In narcissistic fusion, they will tell people what they want to hear and mimic what they need, so they can obtain their own objectives.
The truth will be revealed when they are unable to be emotionally available for the needs of others.
He has no empathy or remorse
They have no empathy or remorse for how they treat people because they feel they have the right to behave in whatever manner meets their own needs, with no regard for others.
When others fail to serve their expectations, they justify cheating or having affairs.
They portray themselves to be kind or pretend to have empathy so that people are there to give them what they need.
You are only wanted if you serve a need for them, otherwise, your feelings do not matter.
If you recognize these red flags, then perhaps you need to do something to pave the way for healthy relationships, instead.