When it comes to divorce, a lot of people think it is caused by infidelity or lying to your spouse about your finances… those are certainly some of the reason. However, there are other, less talked behaviours that are just as destructive to a marriage and you and your partner are probably guilty of some of them.
So, according to marriage therapists, below are 5 behaviours that can silently kill a marriage.
You don’t maintain friendship outside the marriage
Ryan Howes, a psychologist in Pasadena, California says, “It’s so important for both of you to build and sustain friendships with others. Through your friends, you can gain other experiences, perspectives and support that may actually enhance your relationship. You have to have confidants outside the relationship.”
You underestimate the need for touch
Debra Campbell, a psychologist and couple’s therapist in Melbourne, Australia says, “You don’t have to be having sex every day, but some kind of near-daily sexual or erotic acknowledgement is important in relationships. It might be the slightest touch; it’s not always about orgasms and getting hot and sweaty.”
Partners need to remind each other that they’re still wanted, she concluded.
Your couple friends are bad influence
While it’s important to maintain close friendships, surrounding yourself with the wrong type of friends could negatively affect the health of your relationship, said Laura Heck, a marriage and family therapist in Salt Lake City.
On the other hand, surrounding yourself with married people who practice healthy boundaries can benefit you and your partner, Heck said.
You don’t help clean up around the house
According to a 2015 study from the University of Alberta, when your spouse is responsible for the lion’s share of the laundry and cleaning, it’s bound to create resentment and hinder your connection. It further found that couples who didn’t split chores had less relationship satisfaction and less sex than couples who divvied up their chores.
You feel more and more like roommates
Roommate syndrome is a silent but common relationship killer. “When you’ve fallen into the lock-step of living as roommates, you must be very intentional about shaking up your routine and bringing back the fire and passion to the relationship,” Heck said.
To inject some novelty into the relationship, Heck recommends couples make a concerted effort to spend time together by working on a passion project as a team.