What’s a woman to do when she wants to get married but doesn’t want to scare men away?
If you’re focused on how to make a guy fall in love with you (enough to get married!), here’s a list of what you don’t want to do, for your own sake:
Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not.
Don’t act all nonchalant and like you’re above getting married. Some people try to act the exact opposite of what they feel to appear hip.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, and there’s nothing wrong with expressing it to somebody.
If a guy isn’t comfortable with you wanting to be married one day because he feels it’s too much pressure, you might want to use that knowledge to look at your relationship and how much effort you put into it.
Don’t wait around for the right guy.
If you’re sitting at home and wondering why nobody’s asking you to marry them, but you haven’t dated in three years, well… you’ve got a problem. Get yourself out there.
You can’t hole yourself up and think you’re going to meet a guy. Push yourself to meet new people: join clubs, go to meetups, or try a new activity.
You never know where you’re going to meet him.
There’s no reason why you can’t meet your future spouse at a local pub, church or store.
Don’t discount your true feelings.
Don’t lie to yourself or discount what you feel deeply just to impress someone else. It’s OK after a couple of dates to ask a guy if he sees himself getting married.
You shouldn’t ever feel like you have to lie to make yourself seem more attractive.
Pretending to not want to get married will only lead to problems. Be honest with yourself and him.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting you think about marriage; that doesn’t have to mean you expect to get married tomorrow.
If a guy is right for you, he’ll appreciate your honesty.
Don’t act helpless on your own.
Don’t paint a picture of yourself as weak or as a damsel in distress in hopes of a guy wanting to be your knight in shining armour.
You most likely don’t want a man to come in and take care of everything for you.
And if you do think that’s what you want, maybe consider the sacrifices you may need to make to allow a relationship like that to work.
Don’t stay with a guy you know isn’t right.
You don’t want to put up with something unacceptable, regardless of what it is, that you know would make it difficult to have a long-term relationship with him.
If you know you want to get married and you’re looking for the long-term, and you’re with a guy you absolutely can’t see yourself getting married to, why would you stay?
He’s only holding you back from finding the right guy that you can spend the rest of your life with.
Even if he’s cute, even if he’s sweet and lovely, or macho and strong (whatever your type is), if he isn’t someone you can see yourself wanting to spend your life with, then why would you stay?
Don’t tackle other women at a wedding to catch the bouquet.
Yeah… you don’t want to look so overeager that you’re going to wrestle someone’s Aunt Lois to catch the bouquet.
If you do happen to snag it, then kudos to you. But just like anything in life, you can’t force something to happen — you have to let it happen naturally.
Don’t make him more important than you are.
You might think that the way to a man’s heart is by spending all of your waking time with him and dropping your friends and family for him.
You need to have a life of your own, just as he does.
Maintain or develop healthy self-confidence and a well-rounded life full of interests and relationships.
Spending time with other people will actually show that you’re a person who cares about others and keeps her life and priorities in perspective.
Don’t listen to other people.
I guess that would include not listening to me! Go with your gut; trust yourself.
It doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t think you should be getting married; it’s really up to you.
Some people say you shouldn’t get married before a certain age and can give you twenty reasons why not. Life is all about learning to listen to yourself and trust what you find.
You can take other people’s advice into consideration, but it really is all about you and how you feel.