If you want to know how to get a guy to like you for you and finally find true love, here are 8 things you can do to make sure it’s safe to be vulnerable opening your heart again when dating.
1. Avoid guys with obviously low self-esteem.
If he doesn’t love and value himself, he probably can’t love and value you in a healthy way. Find someone with high self-esteem. This is so important.
2. Make sure his values regarding family and relationships match yours.
Take a close look at the life he has created. Does he have healthy long-lasting relationships with friends and family? Does he have his finances and responsibilities in order?
Does he have a good relationship with the ex and kids? Make sure his life is running smoothly before you invite him into yours.
3. Don’t accept his bad behaviour.
Think about the behaviours that hurt you in past relationships, and write them down. Was your ex passive-aggressive, negative, critical, non-communicative, or cold?
If your current beau is repeating some of the same behaviours, ask him to stop. If he can’t (or won’t), move on. You deserve to be treated beautifully.
4. Pay attention to what he does not what he says.
His actions show that he cares about you, more so than his words.
A boyfriend who’s thoughtful, caring, generous, consistent, and kind will someday be a husband who’s thoughtful, caring, generous, consistent, and kind.
5. Make sure he includes you in all aspects of his life.
Over time, he should start to include you in every aspect of his life, without exception. He welcomes you in his home and office. He invites you to spend time with his friends and family. And he’s proud to show you off!
If he’s excited to have you in his life and wants to include you in every aspect of it, he’s a keeper.
6. Be sure he’s into you.
If a man’s into you, he’ll make you a priority. He’ll ask to spend time with you consistently, and he’ll tell you what he likes about you.
You won’t have to wonder how he feels or wait anxiously for his call.
7. Advocate for yourself.
If something is bothering you, tell him. If he dismisses your feelings or gets defensive, that’s a red flag.
Only date someone who’s able to assess his own behaviour and make changes when necessary. Date a man who owns up to his mistakes and who values your feelings (and do the same for him).
8. Make sure you feel relaxed and happy when you’re with him.
If you feel stressed, anxious or have to walk on eggshells when you’re dating, something’s wrong. Trust your gut and keep track of how you feel. If there are more bad days than good ones, it might be time to move on.
When you’re in the right relationship, you’ll feel happy, relaxed and comfortable. I hear this from happy couples all the time!
With strong boundaries and high expectations, you’ll know when it’s safe to open your heart.