One chance – the promise of something real that turns out to be a farce and finally ends in robbery. It got it’s name from the bus rides to Ojuelegba and Ojota where one is a passenger with many only to find that you are in the middle of 419 con artists and robbers whose only interest is your wallet and “wetin you carry”
April 2015, we all trooped out to vote for change. I remember the period leading to that fateful election. The anger at the many failures of GEJ and our tiredness at her disgraceful majesty Mama patience was so huge that even if Papa Sala or Ajasco had come out to be president, we would have voted for him.
And then the promises began- from dropping the price of fuel to bringing Naira to near parity with dollar; 5,000 monthly for all unemployed youths and NYSC; free food for all students at primary schools; steady power; Chibok girls, finishing of Boko Haram. It seemed like it was one week one new promise and we lapped it all with glee like dancers enjoying the beats of a master drummer.
Sometime during this dance, some paused to ask the question “how will we pay for all these?” “hmmmmm are these really possible” but the drumbeats of Change!! Change!! Sai Baba, Sai Buhari were so loud and deafening that it blocked out any meaningful sound.
We won and couldn’t wait for our messiah who would finally lead us to this promised land to take his throne. On that fateful day in May, even the diehard skeptic was swayed by “I belong to everybody and I belong to Nobody”. Chai, we had arrived. We looked for the cabals, the headless and faceless gods that had kept us bound. That day, we could have torn them to pieces bare handed – such was our confidence at the dawn of a new nation.
Then one chance part 2, suddenly everything seemed to work, the fuel queues disappeared, light was steady, the air was fresher, the dollar went down, the weather was cool. Chai, it seemed like everything was working, change had come finally. Shouts of Sai Baba!! Rent the air, the way we lifted up a goal keeper or the star scorer after a match. Everywhere, the professional praise singing pair of Adams Oshiomole and Lai Mohammed spoke about the Buhari effect. Hmmmmm we wondered to ourselves why didn’t we vote this man in since.
Fast forward 11 months later and it looks like the odeshi, juju, charm or whatever has cleared from our eyes. Just the way that victims of one chance appear sleepy and disoriented after the encounter, we are at that point asking what has happened to us?.
Everything seems to have turned upside down. We have gone from one infamous scandal to another – the epic being the kidnap of our national budget; Stable electricity seems a pipe dream; dollar is bouncing like a yoyo on a rubber string; fuel queues have become a normality; businesses are closing; inflation is rising; prices of commodities are going through the roof; everyday we hear of one foreign business closing down or planning to close; we have no idea of which direction the country is going and, have you noticed the heat…. Hmmmm looks like the gods don vex oh –
Yet through it all, Sai Baba is travelling and junketing. Hmmmmm now we are beginning to understand that cryptic statement – “I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody”.
Apparently, the charm has cleared from our eyes because our captors while fighting over our spoils forgot to keep it fresh. Not only are our leaders fighting and contradicting themselves inside the country, they are fighting themselves outside. We have a president whose new specialty seems to tear down his country and country men every time he is outside.
We have gotten to the point where Facebook and twitter are now studying Nigeria as the first example of a country run through social media. Now we do not hear of government policies and pronouncement through normal decrees and parastatals but through social media. Government officials are sacked through social media, some hear of their appointment through social media. Government policies are issued through social media, denied through social media. We are now at a point where everything sounds like one badly written nollywood script.
And where are our one chancers – busy going around pretending that we are still in the bus or that our eyes are still closed. In other climes, an information minster like Lai Mohammed would have resigned from office, the fact that this administration chose a man as Lai Mohammed whose name can be mistaken for Liar Mohammed shows how much of one chance we have entered.
As madam, Dame Patience was known to say “Dier is God!!” APC, Dier is God, Liar Muhammed, Dier is God, Sai Baba, Dier is God.
I think that at this point, the government should admit to its inadequacies and stop the blame games and finger pointing. We all now know – even those that are not admitting it that we entered one chance. Some ardent supporters are still doing ogboju and cover face while others have abandoned any pretense of cover face.
2017, would soon be here. It would come sooner than you know it and I want to tell you something. Look at Dasuki, look at Metuh, Dokpesi, Diezani and al those people you are expanding Kuje and Kiri-kiri prisons for – we would put you there. I promise you. Afterall, that is what we do with one chance people when we finally catch them – oh that is the ones we do not put tyre on their neck and I am not saying anything oh!!!