Hello everyone, it is a new day and a good time to hear from your favourite relationship counsellor, Davina. I am sorry I have been away for so long. There has been just so much going on and so much to deal with these past months. I have gotten over most of it so hopefully, You can get Dear Davina as regularly as you used to. It is good to be back.
Today, I deal with something very important: Can true love be found on Social media? Well, let’s have Jumoke’s letter and I would go into it.
Dear Davina, Can A True Relationship / True Love Be Found On Facebook
Good afternoon Davina.
my name is Jumoke I’ve been on/off in relationships, the last relationship ending last September. It didn’t hurt me much because I saw it coming.
Lately, I’ve been chatting with one guy on FB and he’s been calling me. I don’t know if I should give in because we’ve not seen and he is in another state. My question Davina is, can true love / a solid relationship happen on or from Facebook.
Hello Jumoke, thanks for your letter.
Hmmmmm, this one gets as e be.
To answer your question directly, the answer is yes, True love and an authentic relationship can be found/formed via social media. I take social media to mean dating sites, FB, and all the other platforms. At the same time, there is a lot of danger-fraught on social media.
Social media is akin to a meeting place where people of different backgrounds and personalities can meet. The way a school, library, wedding, church etc is a place to meet and interact with people, is the same way that social media brings people together.
The problem and the advantage at the same time is the anonymity of social media. For example, in the offline world, you would likely meet someone through someone else who can verify the individual so as to let you know the suitability of that individual for a relationship. Through that friend, you can verify the information the person gives you.
In the online world, however, there is a lot of deceit. There is really no way of verification. You don’t know if that is the person’s real picture, real height, real voice or if the person is really where they say they are. Thus making any relationship possibly dangerous if you fall into the wrong hands. I know people who ran away when the real person appeared in real life. LOL!!!
But the anonymity is also a plus because it makes people less inhibited and bolder. Individuals are less afraid of making mistakes and are, as such freer with each other. There is less posturing since the awkwardness of the initial face to face interactions are removed. Especially for shy people.
I know a few people who found themselves via social media and are today either very well married or are having a very good love life.
Don’t be surprised that as you begin to know each other better, you would find some common friends and people you both know.
Having said that, be careful. Here are a few tips to consider
1. Take a proper look at his social media page. When was it started? Who are his friends, what sort of pictures are posted? Some people open accounts just to deceive. There should be consistency and flow in the account.
2. Ask him to send you pictures of himself, his work etc. Check it against the social media accounts given to you. Run a google search on his name. Make sure it matches with the information given to you.
3. Send people to verify the information he has given. Find a friend or family member who is or knows someone in the state where he is. Use true caller to match his number.
4. Once these are verified, you can arrange to meet. Please don’t meet him alone. Arrange to meet in an open place and go with enough friends for the first meeting. Your first meeting would give you an idea of what to expect for future meetings.
Just be careful though and have fun
TO ALL DD READERS….
You can send your Dear Davina letters to me directly @ firstname.lastname@example.org. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is for my eyes only and I promise complete anonymity when I decide to publish your letter.
I look forward to hearing from you
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