I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is 30. We have been dating for 2years. He’s been working since I was in school, I only just recently graduated. The problem is, my boyfriend has never offered to help financially and I have never asked either. I’ve been advised to maybe try asking but I am independent, shy and have my own level of pride. It is so bad that even during graduation, birthdays, etc, he says nothing.
He does love me a lot and we are planning to get married soonest… But I cannot marry that. He keeps saying he wants to give his family the best but can’t give his future wife anything. Anytime I complain of being broke or needing something, he goes “ehyaa, pele, ask daddy.” It pisses me off because I know he isn’t broke; his family is well-to-do too. Please I need your help.
Oh! Lest i forget… I don’t know any of his family members although he has finally invited me to come see his family early next year when he returns (he stays abroad).
Thank you so much, I love your work and hope to hear from you soonest.
First I must commend you for hanging in there this long. You must really love the guy. However, it’s a gamble. You say you’re sure he loves you and I’m wondering how you can be so sure under the circumstances. As far as I know, there is no love without giving. Even God had to “give” his son as a demonstration of His Love. So if he’s not giving gifts and coming to your aid in times of need (even when he can afford it), what’s he giving?
Anyways, I think you should try and directly ask him, not because you need anything but to hear if you’re going to get an outburst, a reprimand, a ctrl+ignore… Whatever reaction. As you’ve rightly said, you can’t marry that. You sure do not want a husband that’s not ‘open handed’. I’m all for being independent but there’s a place for inter-dependency in a relationship. Much as I can afford to pay my own bills and take care of myself, I would expect my man to at least make an attempt to meet my needs and do stuff for me without being asked, especially when I know he can very well afford it.
You are 24 sweetheart… There’s still time for you to be swept off your feet by another man who can put his money where his mouth is.
All the best.
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