Dear Davina,

I read a story you posted with the caption “My Boo has a wife and doesn’t want to see me with men” and I felt you were actually talking to me because my predicament is similar…

I met this man almost 4years ago but we started dating about a month ago. He had been on my neck all those years, insisting that he was not out to hurt or use me, that he wanted to be part of my life. So after we started dating, I asked him why he waited all those years just to have me. He said he had been married for 15 years and had just 1 son; and he has been trying with his wife for another child since…

Please Davina, what should I do? Marry this man as second wife and bare him kids or just enjoy it while it lasts and move on? …and lest I forget, I am a 30-year-old lady with no serious relationship!!! The guy is 45…

Looking forward to hearing from you.

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My 2-Cents:

My dear.

I honestly don’t get why any lady would ever even consider being a man’s second wife. It is the same way I don’t get the baby mama psychology. Maybe it’s just the way I’m wired. I like to be NO. 1 and only, or nothing; and I do not want to be competing with another woman for my man. If he is taken, then I’ll pass; and I’ll wait for a man that’s single and available – how ever long that takes.

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So if you’re asking me what you should do, my answer will be: Wait for your own man. This man belongs to another woman and trust, me you won’t like it when fast forward 10 years from now, he decides to marry somebody else after you, for whatever reason. He wants another child, let him work together with his wife to make it happen. Whatever they need to do – pray, see doctors, adopt – let them fight this their fight together. Don’t get in the mix and enable him in this venture to break his commitment to the woman he married.

Besides, you shouldn’t agree to be any man’s baby factory! You should be marrying a man because you two love each other, whether or not children are in the picture.

Read Also: HE left me for my bestfriend because I refused to give up my virginity

And as to whether you should just “enjoy it while it lasts”, my dear, I’ll advice you get out of this thing immediately. What you think you’re enjoying could turn around and become a thorn in your flesh. Karma can be a B*tch, don’t mess with that. I know the temptation to hang on to the “bird in hand” can be very real, especially with you being 30 and “single” but speaking from experience, you are better off single than in a triangle like this.

I wish you all the best and hope you do the right thing.
Much Love



You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…




  1. You are really a bitch…no part of ur questions says ”should I leave him and find my man?”
    All d questns are abt if u should marry him or be baby factory..
    Just a simple question 4u….put ur self in d wife’s position,u cnt hv another child n your hubby wants another wife,hw will u feel?
    When u answer that u hv ur answer to either go ahead or retreat dis foolish step


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