Dear friend, thanks for making the Dear Davina column one of the most widely read relationship advice columns. I get letters from various parts of the world and I consider it an honour to be trusted enough to be asked for advice. When we started Dear Davina, we never knew it would be this successful. Thanks. I am taking time over the next Dear Davina to discuss some relationship mistakes and how to avoid them or move forward using letters from our readers. So here comes the first one. Please don’t forget to read, comment and be a part of the discussion.
Dear Davina, He wants me to send him my nude pictures
I have been in a relationship for six months now. After I met the guy, we have been chatting calling each other almost every day. I recently went to visit him we had sex, and he keeps asking me to send my nude pics. pls am I doing the right thing
My two cents…
Thanks so much for your mail.
First of all, the fact that you would ask means that deep within you, you are aware that some things are wrong. I actually found your letter exciting because I have been wanting to do a Dear Davina like this.
Please don’t share nude pictures with anyone. What does he want to do with your nude images?
1. People don’t realise the dangers of the internet and social space. Once your material has gone out on social media, it is difficult and in several cases impossible to retrieve. These include your WhatsApp, facebook, emails, Skype, Instagram, snapchat or whatever social media you use.
2. Once you have given out content about you to someone via social media, you no longer have control over that content. These content could be images, words, texts or whatever. Once you have sent it to another individual, you have lost every control and you are now at the mercy of that individual as to what they would do with it.
3. There is a rise of revenge porn where people post nude images of an ex they have broken up with as a form of blackmail on online platforms. Sometimes, it is even the new partner of the ex that posts that image. It could be a friend that has beef with you. Your assumption a lot of times is that your partner has deleted the images but this might not be the case. You don’t know what they plan to do with it. They might even be sharing it with someone else.
4. Be conscious of the fact that this relationship might not work out eventually meaning that you might not get married. Until he has walked you down the aisle, consider the relationship as dating. The rule as such should be to share only what you wouldn’t be embarrassed to with later if for any reason the relationship goes south.
I hope this helps
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