Hi people, thanks for your comments and thoughts on our last Dear Davina. It was quite beautiful and enlightening reading your comments and thoughts. I take them as feedback which I put into improving and making Dear Davina better. We are still dealing with insincerity in relationships. You can see more on this series here. Today, we are taking another angle which is when one party in the relationship take the other for granted without knowing that is what they are doing. As you read this dear Davina, take out time to make your comments and don’t forget to read our other beautiful articles from Davina Diaries.

Dear Davina, He wants Us To Take a break

Dear Davina, I must say I am impressed by all your posts. It really exposes me to different views and opinions about relationships.

I have been dating this my guy for 4yrs now but in the last 2 years of our relationship, it’s not been the same. I have cheated and lied severally but he has always forgiven me and accepted me back until recently when he was fed up. He decided that we take a break for now.

I think the problem is with me.

Dear Davina, pls I need your advice on what to do cause I know we do love each other so much just that the trust is no longer there.

My two cents…

Hi,

Thanks so much for your kind and beautiful words, God bless you.

I quite agree with your guy that you should both take a break. A break isn’t always a bad thing. It allows you to sit back and evaluate how important the relationship is to you, what values it represents to you and if it is really something you want.

Taking it from your words where you said you have cheated and lied severally, it is obvious that something is wrong somewhere. If you truly love him and want the relationship as you say you do, why would you want to do everything possible to break the relationship and end it through cheating?

The guy sure loves you and he has demonstrated it by taking you back severally. It is now your turn to reciprocate that love by being faithful. Trust is earned and nurtured. The more you lie and cheat, you are breaking that trust. A breaking point always comes when even though he loves you, he can’t trust you. See trust as money in a bank account. If you withdraw money faster than you put into the account, a point will come when you have run out of money to spend. You would need to put in more money in order to spend.

I believe your relationship has gotten to that point. Your constant withdrawal from the bank account of trust via your several lies and cheatings has meant that there is no longer trust inside that account. You would need to restock the bank

My advice…

Like I said earlier, breaks aren’t always a bad thing. They allow you to truly evaluate the relationship if properly done. There might have been a valid reason you have been cheating on him. Take time and explore that reason, it might hold clues you haven’t wanted to admit to yourself all this while.

Ask your self why you are in the relationship, what it means to you and if you really want it. I tell people not to be sentimental about a relationship. What I mean is, don’t hang onto it out of pity, out of what people would say or because of the time you have invested in it. Don’t hang onto a relationship because you believe you wouldn’t get any better and definitely don’t hang onto a relationship because of the fear of the unknown. Maybe he is the first guy you ever slept with and you have this special attachment to him. You have however found in your heart of heart that he isn’t what you want, It is better you walk. It might even be for economic and financial reasons.

Whatever the reasons may be, if you find that you are no longer comfortable, walk away. It is definitely not a relationship when you would continually break it. If however at the end of the period, you find that you really want him and you were just been foolish, make up your mind to do the right thing and if he still wants you, go along with him.

I hope this help

____________________________
TO ALL DD READERS…
You can send your Dear Davina letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is for my eyes only and I promise complete anonymity when I decide to publish your letter.
I look forward to hearing from you
xoxoxoxoxo
Davina

2 COMMENTS

  1. I will take a break from you too as you took him for granted in the name of he forgives. I believe you won’t be as forgiving as he was. You need the break to work on yourself because it’s a problem when you keep cheating on someone you claim you love. Go for counselling and be truthful to discover the deep rooted problem.

  2. I will take a break from you too as you took him for granted in the name of he forgives.
    Go work on yourself as you do have deep seated issues with yourself.
    Learn who you really are before venturing into any relationship.

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