Hello guys, welcome to another Dear Davina day. We are living in exciting times. Thanks for your support of Davina Diaries and my Column Dear Davina. I get really overwhelmed when I read some letters that I get. Thank you very much. Today I deal with a manner which is actually simple but quite weighty. It is actually more a matter of peer pressure – everyone seems to be doing it or everyone seems to be flowing in a particular way other than you. It makes you feel that there is something wrong if you don’t flow that way. Have you ever found yourself in that situation? Apparently, a lot of us have been there. That is part of the social male up of being human.

Anyways, let’s get into the letter and my advice, Please remember to comment and drop your thoughts. Please also find time to read our beautiful articles. We are currently running the Inheritance which is part one of the Wilavega Trilogy. There are 3 books all together in this beautiful story. The story is quite gripping and you wouldn’t want to drop the books. You can get all 3 stories for N1000 in our limited time promotion.

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Hello Dear Davina
I’m in my early 20s and I have never dated anyone. I don’t really like people that much. I lose interest fast.

I have male friends who recently showed interest in me and I sincerely don’t know what to do. The first one was nice but always demanding attention. He keeps records of who calls who. We had a small disagreement, the next thing he did was to post a picture of him and some girl then stopped talking to me for months. Recently he came back to express his feelings but I think I’ve already lost interest.

The second is my very good friend he has been there for me but lately, I’ve been getting tired of talking to him. I don’t really listen when he talks. I don’t know who to choose or what to do. On the other hand, I’m even too tired to date any of them.

Dear Davina, should I just remain on my own. I’m also scared of if I will continue like this. People are falling in love around me but I just can’t because I’m scared. I want to fall in love, get married but I’ve not found anyone who I’ve had a lasting interest in.

My two cents…

Hi Sista,

First of all, understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just aren’t yet ready for the commitment needed for a relationship.

Life should be based on priorities, not peer pressure or keeping up with the Joneses. The fact people around you are falling in love left right and centre doesn’t make it the right thing for you right now. You could have other focuses such as your academics, job and personal development. These things don’t give you much room for other pursuits or the commitments needed to make a relationship work. I would rather you focus on yourself and your progress in life rather than on a relationship currently.

An analysis of your two male friends lets me know where you currently are in terms of self-development. An analysis of your current friends are a good way of locating you as an individual. This is because your friends are a reflection of you and are chosen from your network pool.

The first guy is obviously very immature. Not only is he insecure, his way of getting back at you by posting a picture of hi and a girl smacks of childishness. As regards the second, it is obvious you have outgrown the individual. His conversation has become mundane and non-engaging.

One of the challenges of today’s modern age with its abundance of social media influences is that it makes us feel that we are not living a full life if our lives don’t tilt a certain way. Somehow, you are made to think you are dull, not alive, being left out if your life is not a reflection of the Instagram or facebook lives of your friends. That is why a lot of lives have become fake and shallow.

My advice…

I would advice that you spend time developing yourself and work on what is next in your life. It could be your academics or your career. Work on being your best at this. Mastering the next level would open up new doors and introduce you to people with different mindsets. Relationships can be a distraction and you are obviously not ready for any right now.

Fear not, there is a time for everything enjoy your walk of life and the steps you are taking now. When it is time for the next thing and a relationship, it would come.

I hope this help

____________________________
TO ALL DD READERS…
You can send your Dear Davina letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is for my eyes only and I promise complete anonymity when I decide to publish your letter.
I look forward to hearing from you
xoxoxoxoxo
Davina

4 COMMENTS

  1. Well I was once like you I told everyone I wasn’t going to fall in love but when I was ready and I met the right guy
    Even I can’t believe it and my friends and family can’t believe it because it was never my thing
    As davina said take ur time,you are not yet there when you do you will know how lovely that is. Just focus on building ur life and the love for the right person will come naturally 😘

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