Dear Davina,

Please, I’d like to know the place of attraction in a relationship. Secondly, I am a 26-year-old working class lady. How do I know a guy who truly loves me for who I am? I currently have several suitors but there’s one issue or the other with each one of them.

Suitor 1: After much persistence and just when things were going smoothly, he sent me a message to say he was praying for me that God will give me a husband better than him and that I will not make a marital mistake. Hmm, me I said Amen o. Afterwards, communication got stalled. Months later, he started becoming serious again.

Read Also: My girlfriend stopped talking to me after I told her I had lunch with my Ex. Should I have kept quiet?

Suitor 2 is colleague at work but he is physically challenged. I don ‘t think I can bear that kind of burden in marriage.

Suitor 3 is a church member who went to meet my pastor on my behalf. Ma, my problem is that I am not attracted to him and my discussions with him  always leave me feeling very porous, even though he is graduate himself.

Then, Suitor number 4: An aunt match made us. He blows hot and cold and I decided to just forget about him.

Read Also: She’s the mother of my child but she’s always fighting me. I think she’s cheating on me

Please, what do I do? How do I let these guys down politely? Am I being too picky? Do I still wait believing the one I am made for will surface? My heart keeps telling to concentrate fully on God and not let these issues weigh me down, How ma? Forgive me for the many questions, just need directions, Thanks.


My 2-Cents:

First and most important question: Are you ready for marriage? Forget what anyone thinks/says. Forget all the talk about your biological clock ticking… Are you convinced in your heart of hearts that you’re ready for this next big step called “Marriage”? If you are, I’d immediately recommend Ross T’s series for single ladies. All 6 parts to date are available on this website. Just type “So you want to marry?” in the search bar and the list will pop out.

Read Also: I’m confused! My EX’s friend is asking me to marry him…. Should I do it?

A quick one from me… You don’t have to settle with any of these four guys. You might be thinking “A bird in hand is worth two in the bush” but something I tell people is this: With marriage, it’s better to stay single than make the wrong choice. Take a break and clear your head. Let these guys go. Break it to them nicely, tell them you are not ready. They are big boys, they’ll get over it.

Listen to your heart and focus on God… There’s this scripture I love so much: Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I have found it to be very true. As you concentrate on serving God and doing his will, you’ll find that the things you desire (including the right man for you) will gravitate towards you, effortlessly.

Read also: So you want to marry? Part 6 – A Pratical Guide for the Lady seeking a Husband

I took the liberty of forwarding your mail to Ross T so hopefully, he’ll address some of your questions in detail in his subsequent articles.

All the best darling.



You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…



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