Dear Davina,

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for over one and a half years now and our relationship has been smooth. We love each other very much. We usually would communicate and see each other often but things have become sour of late. She stopped calling me, she hardly chats with me and when I ask to see her, she gives me a raincheck. It’s disturbing. I’m a final year student and I want to marry this girl but I’m taking things slow and steady since she’s yet to get into school.

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We finally met and she dropped the bombshell, her mom is forcing a man on her and vice versa. That’s why she’s been shutting me out. She says she doesn’t like the guy, that she’s in love with me, but her mom cries everyday, begging her to call the guy. She even buys her airtime to call. She said the guy had been calling her and obviously she’s also been calling him. That could explain why I was shut out.
I love this girl Davina and I don’t want to lose her like that. Apparently her mom doesn’t know about us even though we attend the same church. I’m confused, I wouldn’t have the strength and motivation to battle this if my girl keeps shutting me out like that. I know she needs me, she said so herself, but I want every decision and move that I take to be right. What do I do Davina?

My 2-Cents:

I’m not sure your girl is being entirely sincere. There’s something not quite right with this picture you’ve painted. I would have thought she would carry you along rather than shut you out.

But I am also aware that our parents’ blessings are always required for the success of any union. The lady in question is still very young, stays with her parents and is still a dependant on them. Even if she doesn’t want to go the direction her mom wants, she’s probably bound by the culture of our society to do as she’s told.

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However, if you can also step up to the plate, of course not going out of your means, but
showing her parents how responsible you are and can be, then they might relax their ‘grip’. In addition, if you are as serious as you say you are, speak with your parents as well and have them have a sit-talk with hers.

Having said this much, I’d also recommend that you take time to pray about it. Let the Holy Spirit guide you on what step to take.

Do keep me posted.



You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…



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