Dear Davina,

I want to share with you my love life story and I need your help. I’ve been dating a guy for a year now but we are always fighting. He doesn’t beat me but we argue a lot. It has affected me so much that I also get mad at my friends the way he does me. He keeps saying I am cheating on him but I’m not. He doesn’t trust me but I love him.

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Late last year, I got pregnant for him and I had to abort it because he’s not working yet and I don’t want to be a teenage mother. I know I have done a bad thing but I believe ‘God’ understands me. As usual, we had a fight one day and he said: “How am I sure I’m the owner of the pregnancy you aborted?” I was heartbroken. After the pain I’d gone through, how could he say that?

I forgave him and moved on with him but recently he asked me for sex and I turned him down. What he did next will shock you also. He texted me and said “If it were those niggas that give you money, you’d let them f**k you.” To my understanding, that message indirectly meant I was a prostitute. I was so mad at him but again, I forgave him.

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Just yesterday, he said it was over. I don’t know why but I was so happy when he said that, even though part of me still wants him. I am liking a guy very close to him. The guy has always been nice to me and understanding. To stop myself from dating my boyfriend’s friend, I asked my friend to date him. But I love the guy so much, I mean my now Ex’s friend. I can’t stop thinking about him.

What should I do, Davina? Help me before I do something crazier.


My 2-Cents:

Sweetheart, from what I gather here, you are pretty young… I think this is way above your league. You’ve already had to deal with abuse alongside a pregnancy/abortion as a teenager, that’s more than some people get to deal with in an entire lifetime. So straight off the cuff, I’ll tell you to take a break! Take a break from relationships, men and all the drama involved. Allow yourself breathe and heal.

Getting involved with this other guy will be more of a rebound than anything serious. Besides, I don’t think you need the drama that is sure to ensue when your boyfriend who never trusted you in the first place finds out you’re involved with his friend. I generally advice people to avoid the ex’s friends where possible. The triangle is usually too messy, especially when the relationship didn’t exactly end well.

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Even if you eventually decide that what you two have is worth pursuing, I suggest you give it some time. Meanwhile, you enjoy being single for a while. Focus on developing yourself and falling in love with you. Build yourself into a woman that any man will be only too proud to have. You can have a loving, drama-free relationship with a man who practically adores you, you deserve that…Every lady does.

Thankfully, you still have age on your side, so take your time darling. Love will find you in good time.

All the best dear.



You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…



  1. Wow! Dats so barbaric. Don’t even think of it cos u will get urself pretty mess up, i think u should stop whatever feelings u have for ur boy friend best friend n b real with ur boyfriend.just b honest n ask urself wat u really want, do u want to b a monster who actually break a friendship cos is nt just u you are putting at risk. U are also putin two best friends live at risk. Thins may get out of hand,thins may get bloody.its ur job now to protect them n their friendship by letting go of those feeling.plz i beg u don’t cos u will regret it n u might even lose both of dem…

    • This one didnt even read the post. He only read the headline and he is spilling beans. The post would have told u that the boyfriend she talked about is an abusive Ex who has dumped her already. You better read more and talk less.

    • @Nnaemeka u were suppose to give ur own advice n not insult me for giving my own. Even if i was wrong about dis issue in particular, dat doesn’t mean dat i gave a bad advice cos i believe dat somebody out there might b in need of d very same advice i gave… A warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable than ur insults n critics. I value correction, bt correction full of insult n hate is in fact not a correction. Thank u n God bless

    • …But I really do not see any insults dished by Nnaemeka Chukwukezie…

      He simply pointed out a very common (& highly embarrasing) occurrence with people (especially of black descent)

      Before one can make an INFORMED decision, on any issue at all, YOU MUST HAVE ALL THE FACTS RIGHT!

      Else, NO MATTER HOW ACCURATE YOUR “ADVISE” it becomes more of a KILLER than a SOLVER!

      Imagine going to a doctor WHO DOES NOT TAKE THE TIME TO DO A HOLISTIC CHECK ON YOU but based on your symptoms of headache and stomach ache, “ACCURATELY” PRESCRIBES ANALGESIC for your malaria, meanwhile what you really got is STOMACH CANCER!!!

      This also applies to our faith and how we read and understand God’s Word!

      The Word of God has been “TURNED ON IT’S HEAD” due absolutely to our “OUT OF CONTEXT READING”

      There is a saying in igbo that “HAPU IHE-EDERE NA MOTO, BANYE NA MOTO!

      Because you will NEVER know the facts and would consequently ALWAYS misdiagnose!

      Kudos Nnaemeka for pointing this out!

      My 2 cents!

  2. I think Davina said it all……. Swthrt, you need a break from all the drama….. Uhhmmmm…..if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to look up Tekena Ikoko’s facebook page: ‘Single But Not Stupid’…..

  3. I think Davina said it all……. Swthrt, you need a break from all the drama….. Uhhmmmm…..if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to look up Tekena Ikoko’s facebook page: ‘Single But Not Stupid’…..

  4. What truly amazes me is that VIRTUALLY EVERYONE who has thrown one horrible curse, insult or abuse at this lady; (real or imaginary) obviously DID NOT TAKE THE EFFORT TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE BEFORE COMING DOWN IN AN AVALANCHE OF HORROR!

    Jeez! That goes to show the EVIL resident in all y’alls inner core!

    It’s amazing!!

    Even those who appear “MATURE” age wise, are spewing more toxic guffaw, having not gotten all the facts on ground.

    No wonder this country is filled with;

    -Countless DEATHS from curable diseases (WRONG DIAGNOSIS)

    -Countless BUILDING COLLAPSES (lack of thorough test/exam of building materials)

    -Countless road accidents (drivers with no driving school/driving test experience)

    -A HORRIBLE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM… (So many things to say)

    -Terrible political class

    And the list is endless!

    PLEASE, PLEASE, & PLEASE always have your facts right before you “advise”, judge or rain abuse!

    Good morning and have a blessed day!


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