Dear Davina

I am in my early 30’s and in a relationship with a guy who is 35 years old. We are both graduates and have been going out for close to 2 years now. My man works with an oil company. I also work and the salary is manageable.

His parents love me. His father has even told me severally to get pregnant as their son seems not to be ready yet. Every time his parents talk to him about marriage, he insists he wants to build a house for them first. Now he has finished building, still no plans for marriage. But he keeps saying he wants to marry in the next few months.

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The problem now is that since ever we started this relationship, he has been cheating on me and asking for forgiveness. He invites girls to his house and tells me to stay away. When the ladies leave, he turns around and starts begging as if his life depends on me. Yet, he never changes.

He gave me the key to his apartment. Whenever his family comes around, he pretends like I’m the only girlfriend he has. I’m be the only person with the right to come to his house at any time… But the moment they leave, he brings in another girl.

 

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In all this, I have been faithful to him and he knows because he tells his friends about me. Each time he cheats, he begs me and promises to change one day. He claims that he is this way because of his past relationships. He says he was faithful to his past girlfriends but they all broke his heart, so he started womanizing. He takes very good care of me but his weakness is women.

The women he invites are women that stay outside Port Harcourt; they come from places like Lagos, Warri, Abuja etc. They stay 3 to 4 days and leave; I’m the only one who stays within his reach. Meanwhile, I have been rejecting other men because of him. I’m not one to keep two male friends at the same time. Besides, I loves this guy very much.

Please, I’m a bit confused, what should I do?

________________________________________________________________________

My 2-Cents:

My dear, I simply don’t get how you have been a blue to stay in this relationship for almost two years. Personally, I’d have walked a long time ago. This so-called weakness, as far as I am concerned, is sheer indiscipline and if he doesn’t regard you enough to get his act together, you should leave. A lot of times, people don’t appreciate what they have until they lose it so maybe you leaving will be the wake-up call he needs. And when I say leave, I don’t mean play difficult for a while and then cave in when he comes to beg you; I mean leave as in Move on with your life! If ever you decide to go back to the relationship, it must that he is completely done with his philandering and is finally ready to put a ring on your finger.

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I’m not sure what it is he brings to the table that makes you hang in there despite his shenanigans but I’m not sure any material benefit is worth this sacrifice. Don’t mind all those folks that say “it’s better to cry in a Mercedes than be happy on a bicycle.” It really isn’t as easy as they make it sound.

You are not a kid anymore and much as I can understand how you feel drawn to this man, you have to ask yourself some hard questions. Even if you get him to conform and settle down with you, what are the guarantees he won’t go back to his womanizing? Will you be able to deal with sharing your husband with several women. If he doesn’t give it up, are you ready to tolerate his shenanigans the rest of your life? Are you sure the ‘benefits’ you get from being with him will be enough to make up for his excesses? Think it through very well and then, decide.

All the best darling.

Davina
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TO ALL DD READERS….

You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…

xoxoxoxoxo

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