Dear Davina,

I’m 34 years old. I met a girl 3 months ago and fell in love with her. Ever since, it’s been one problem or the other. When I met her, I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said she had one boyfriend but she was not sure about marrying him. I then went ahead with the relationship, believing I could win her love over.

Truly, she loves me. She’s from my tribe and she has proven to me that she loves me. But the problem is: I don’t trust her. She lies to me all the time; She says something today and says another thing tomorrow. She always puts her timeline off on whatsapp, for me not to know when she is online. She likes to please every man in her life, even the people in her office.

Read Also: My girlfriend stopped talking to me after I told her I had lunch with my Ex. Should I have kept quiet?

Sometimes, she answers calls and I know she’s discussing with her lover or her toaster. She also answers  strange calls. The last time we were together and she received a call, she told me she had to leave. Apparently, she was not comfortable answering the call while I was there; I knew she wanted to go somewhere more comfortable.

Three weeks ago, her boyfriend called from USA and later called from a Nigerian line. I picked the call and discovered it was her boyfriend. I told her it was over and we broke up for one week. But because I love her, I called her and we became lovers again.

Her friend’s birthday was Monday, she told me it was on Wednesday. I went to her Facebook timeline and found out the birthday was on Monday. I didn’t call her for three days and she didn’t come online for three days. And that’s what she does when she’s with me, she never goes online or handles her phone during the days days she spends with me. I went to her house and found out she hadn’t been home for two days.

Read Also: She’s the mother of my child but she’s always fighting me. I think she’s cheating on me

Yesterday, she asked me a question: She asked if it was possible to love two guys at once. She said she’s love with me and in love with her other boyfriend. The problem now is that each time I think about her, I cry, I have never loved any woman like this before, Please I need your advice. Thanks

________________________________________________________________________

My 2-Cents:

Brother, I can’t believe you’re still asking for advice, with the handwriting on the wall as clear as it is. I mean, are you that desperate? Even as a lady myself, I am quite riled that you would put up with this much drama from a lady you are in a relationship with. In all fairness, the girl already told you she had a boyfriend but you went ahead, hoping to win her over. So far, so good, your plan hasn’t worked; and she has told you to your face she is still in love with the other guy. Let it go already!

Read Also: I’m confused! My EX’s friend is asking me to marry him…. Should I do it?

You have tried. You have made an attempt… Now, please take what’s left of your dignity and move on. All the drama/heartache is most unnecessary. Let the girl choose who she wants to be with. If she chooses you, fantastic! If not, don’t worry, you’ll find another woman who will love you as much as you love her and who will be all yours… All in good time.

All the best sir.

Davina
———————————————————————————————

TO ALL DD READERS….

You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…

xoxoxoxoxo

186 COMMENTS

  1. if u guys were still dating wen she fell inluv with another guy,if means u didn’t play ur card well,like givin her attention etc,fighting for her now will only make u look like a fool and she might nt even still come back to u

    • I experience d same thing,she fell in love with someone else while we were still dating,her dad lost his job n she needed money,I jus came to jos on transfer n had financial issues,so I was not giving her money,so its like wen another working class guy came she fell for him,even wen I sent her friends to talk to her they said dat she said “I don’t take good care of her” dat she asked me for 5k n I gave jus 3k,dat I don’t like giving her money,also she told me dat her problem is not relationship but how to survive d financial issues her family is having n at dat stage its like a woman can go to any lenght for money,so I honorable walked away cos its like no mata wat I do I can’t make her leave d new guy n others dat can help her financially, or wat do u guys think?also dis is d third time another guy is coming between us n it always happens wen I don’t meet up with her financial bills,I always lose her wen I don’t give money cos she feels I work with d F.G so as I collect salary she must ve hers?

    • It does nt matter whether she asked or not. D most important is lv. Whether u spend or not,if she stil wants to leave she wil. Money cant change their feelings no matter how u satisfy them. Am nt saying money cant change their feelings to some extent in other to engage in u but u cant never enjoy d relationship or marriage with her becos she will never be satisfy with one men.@season

    • true bt u should no dat we have different type of girls,some cant ust be satisfy with ust wan one man,dey like d fun of cheating, while other is becos dey dnt get attention, love,care,support and money to@femi

    • yes,if it were to be my guy dat wen for anoda girl,i will no dat i didn’t play my card well bt in dis case,it was d girl who left d boy and i wouldn’t rain insult on him,dats me for u,i will move on and if i wan to play my card well now,he might nt still come back to me cos its too late @victor

    • and am nt defending her action,and i didnt say dat wat she did was right,bt come to think of it,it does happen every time, a guy/gal leaving d opposite sex cause of one or two reasons@victor

    • @season, the babe no love the guy jor. No support her. You never fall in love! If not, you’d know what trust and endurance means. Abi you never hear say na time be the test of things??

    • lol,i nor dey support her @ik ,i no wat trust and endurance means and i have heard of time is d test of things, it could be true dat d girl didnt really luv d guy,bt come on dere’s a way d guy will play his card and d girl can start to feel something for him

    • Story story ! Let that guy take heart. True love takes thier partners for who they are and not what they are. Shun her and pray for a true love to locate you cus good and perfect things come from God alone. A girl like this will brake your heart in future through infidelity.

    • I dnt fink love is money,love is compatibility…. I have seen women giving guys money even wen he didn’t give bcos she believed in him.if u are the type dat lures women to your self with money and u arnt extra rich,u will end up nt achieving anything in life.funny ,she s goin to hate u for dat later and still leave.my advice to the guy is to let her go.most women are very indecisive especially wen they are below 25.

    • Bottom line, no true love will have reasons to leave.. For a second, the girl didn’t really love the guy… Probably he was just an option.. You can’t say maybe he didn’t give the girl attention… and He wants to fight to get her back??? No na… The girl should be investigated… Cus that is the xcuse most girls give now bcus they want to leave a relationship… God will help us…

    • @ uc Sam Godwin,I don’t understand@ season yea,I kinda placed her on monthly allawee but couldn’t continue wen I was transfered to a new post cos things became kinda choked up for me n tight,its wen I couldn’t meet up financially dat she started complaining dat I didn’t care n I explained all my troubles to her but she felt dat y stay n manage wen other guys were coming with promises

    • @Roymond,it could be dat she doesnt no wat she wants,a friend of mine will always tell me “season always no wat u want” doth we(me and ur ex)are age bracket,and we in our age, less Dan 25yrs,most of us dnt really no wat we wan,cos we believe dere’s till time

  2. You can force a horse to the river,but certainly u can’t force that same horse to drink from dat river,my guy kindly pull yurslf together and move on with life,cos she is not yours and is very immature to go fight 4a girl period?

  3. Let her go. She found or love found her and filled some gaps you blindly left opened. Now you’re history. Fighting for her will only expose you to more contempts. Maintain your dignity, respect your self and hold your pride. There are just so many out there, all you have to do is dangle a bait, and you’ll be in for a nice surprise.

  4. Guy u gat to tiNk well abuh it,if u no u love her and can’t do wifout her pls do not relent and watch her pass u by,impress her in every way,show her ur heart,do tinx u knw she loves,jes do ur best and if u knw u can let her go and b okay wif it so dnt hesitate to do dat either,pls live your life and let her live hers

  5. play ur card well or miss ur card a cheater must be a cheater, bro just move ders still many out der who are ready to down for u!.pls dnt go fight for her,she mite not even last der..

  6. She is in love with anoda guy oo nd u r asking shld u fyt for her? Bros u b jetli? Cmon go read ur bible so dat u mk heaven. Wer u de wen she de fall for d oda guy? Maybe u de watch man u match

  7. Love stories begin when we dnt need or expct it and hurts alot simply cos it ends wen we need it most…..

    I love ma bae!!!.
    Always bin there 4 me…my bundle of joy!!!

    Kemisola Akinyemi

  8. So at 34yrs you are still doing boy and girlfriend thing? Something must be wrong somewhere. They are following you from you village run as fast as you can to God for protection before they will finsh you. Your mates are talking about children you are here talking about boy and girlfriend. Obi is a boy.

  9. Neva ever fight t kip love my brother. Na die b dat o.
    Dia is a clean sweet gurl waiting somewhere for u who wud stick around wif u thru thick n thin . Even ur bones, blood n spirit n soul go tell u say dis one loves me and has Com t stay. But den, do ur best t satisfy her so much so even she wud know ur doin ur best.

  10. Relationship is not a do or die affair, and no one is worth dying for. I want you to know that whatever is yours will come with ease, but whatever is not yours will never be no matter how hard you try. So move on with your life and know that her part in your story is over.

  11. Pls haier AK47 make we go fight for u fool, ma ask 1 qustn, u d fuck dat gal well? Wetin u fell say woman like 4rm men #be a man on ur bed n ur money finish, so is either u cnt fuck well or u hv money…

  12. What were u doing that made her fall in love with someone else,, just forget about trying to woo her back my friend,, and concentrate on building a better relationship with someone else

  13. All I can say is dis.
    1.Some gals will say he didn’t play cards well. That’s stupid. When a lady is on the wrong side (even wen caught red handed) they still find a way to blame the guy.
    2.Some guys will say he is a fool. Well that’s stupid too. Love is not easy. It’s obvious he really loves her but doesn’t know he is killing himself slowly.
    You just can’t change the devil to a priest.
    I ‘ll just advise the dude to get out of that prison he calls relationship and know there are still good loving gals out dere.

  14. una no get wetin to comment dat guy wer ther dey like person wer get 5kobo for paket?una think say to get girlfrd na for mouth?on his own him no fit eat .him go fit provid for the girl

  15. My opinion.. What is yours will never give up on you, even if you pay little or no attention to it.. Example.. Our mothers never gave up on us, even when we didn’t use to get it right, paid less attention to them… Etc.. But they still loved us even till death… That is what I call true and healthy love… My way of trying to say, you don’t have to get everything right for someone to love you… Move on bro…

  16. I think you should let her go cos it too late to start fighting over noting, since someelse could easily fill d vacuum u created carelessly. Thousands of babes are out there you will definitely hook up with someone else someday nd if she is meant for u she would cm bak.

  17. Why will you fight for a woman? If she’s in love with another man, find another woman that will be in love with you because you guys are not meant for each other. I can’t imagine me fighting for a woman when isaiah 4:1 make me understand that 7 women will fight over me so they can be called by my name

LEAVE A REPLY