Dear Folks,

Thanks for your comments and inbox emails on the last Dear Davina. As promised, I am bringing again something similar to what we had last week. This is particularly touching because I have had some ladies fall into this trap without knowledge.

 

Dear Davina,

thanks so much for your life-saving advice and column. I have been highly blessed just reading you and the various comments.

Three years ago I met my husband to be and we got dating. Such a peaceful and lovely relationship. Last year August 22nd, the love of my life proposed to me. At the point he asked me to marry me, I was confused; the longest 30 seconds of my life, I said yes to him. But no I wasn’t excited. My folks were excited for me because of the looks of the man that was asking for my hand in marriage and obviously, my future and that of my kids would be financially excellent.

Did I love him? Yes, I did …so much so. Did I want him to be my forever? I wasn’t sure but I was excited. My introduction came and exactly like I expected he came and made a scene with his money and half of my relatives were impressed.

Throwback to December few days before Christmas, a mail came into my inbox and it contained information that the man I was planning to spend my forever with had two children with different mothers alongside a wife and kids as well. I confronted him and initially, he denied but a few days later he came begging and owned up to everything.

The wedding was fixed for February 2018 but I postponed it to March. I’m at a point where I don’t know if leaving him would be a mistake or if God can use this to do a miracle and if I should just leave. At this junction, I don’t want to marry such a man. I’m just confused.

Adeola

My take…

I have seen cases where a lady was deceived by a man and only found out about his children and another wife after their marriage. I have also seen where these are also explainable circumstances and the couple married and lived ever after 20 years plus after. One thing I have learnt is that everything case is different and must be taken on its own merit.

having said that…

My advice…

  1. It is good that you postponed the wedding. It would allow you time to find out more about the guy.
  2. Three years is long enough to have enough information to judge someone you have been this close to. At crucial times you would need to trust and go with your gut feeling about someone you love.
  3. Having said the above, your hesitation when he proposed says a lot. It means that there is something you weren’t sure about. That again is something you need to look into. Why did you hesitate?
  4. My heartfelt advice to you would be to leave the guy. If it took someone to send you an anonymous email just a few days to your wedding, it says a lot about this guy. How come he never gave you all these information all the three years of your relationship? Whatever his excuses could be, he had all of 3 years to come through. Sister, run!! add 2 legs to what you have and run!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo Davina

________________________________________________________________________

TO ALL DD READERS….

You can send your Dear Davina letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is for my eyes only and I promise complete anonymity when I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you

xoxoxoxoxo

Davina

 

 

20 COMMENTS

  1. Humm This life is more than that, what of if you are not aware now and a day after your marriage you know the truth of the matter. So my suggestion is that find out more about those wife and children and have a peaceful dialogue with him then decide best for your self.

  2. Wen u guys were starting d relationship d u inform davina? Its now u remembered der is marriage councillor after Eating a lot of his money. Had it been dis guys is poor, would ave accepted him for a date talk more of extending it to marriage. U won’t even bother to seek information abt him since u discovered his rich… Has a car & living very comfortable, u decided to jump into d relationship & enjoy wit him. Bt if he was broke, u would have screened him & his entire family. Ole come & chop money second wife…another greedy fellow like u will come & make it three.

  3. Very simple and straight forward first thing first what else is he looking for in u dat he has not seen in his wife ,kid? He has it wife he has it? Money like u said he has it,what is luv if he can hide his identity for 3yrs frm you,hw ar you not sure dat dere are many more hidden things abt hm, for example (his wealth )dat he is not telling you.
    Moreover hw cm uve dated a guy for 3yrs and you don’t know so much abt him, just may be you were so blinded by his money and as such his tru identity was not a concern to you.
    Thank ur stars dat somebody used by God gave you dat info bcos if not the same thing dat made hm looked ur corner even after been married would hv made hm looked else where when uve expired.
    Ladies and gentlemen ,is just a lesson to b learnt, mostly ladies marriage is a serious affair instituted by God and as such should not be treated with kid gloves.know the person you are dating ,know his source of wealth (works) ,his family,his friends and where he is frm,bcos dis information might cm handy in d future ,do not b carried away with wat you seeing it might just be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,so many ladies and guys hv gotten married to people in d name of luv without doing a background check on d person and dat at some point in the future cost dem either the marriage or their lifes.##common sense##

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