I’m not really a fan of social media help or confiding in someone but now I just need someone to talk to. I need to pour out my sorrows. Seriously, I’m heartbroken. You know that feeling people talk about when they’re heart-broken…. Well, I used to call them stupid so it’s funny that I’m feeling the same way now.
We started a new life together… I was faithful, she was totally & extremely faithful and innocent. We dated for 4 years without sex (mind you, it was not a distant relationship, we saw everyday). I took her virginity just last year. Long story cut short, I noticed she started becoming very close to this guy at work. They’d chat everyday, go to work together, play and he stayed in her house sometimes. She said they were doing office work….. They did everything together. I confronted her but she always stressed that ‘Mr. A’ was just her friend & nothing more but my instinct knew something was up. We had so many quarrels and break-ups because of this guy. I eventually just decided to let her be.
Just yesterday, she came and confessed to me what really happened btw she and Mr. A….. How they had sex once; their romantic adventures…… That she just lusted after him. She cried & begged for forgiveness, saying she had ended everything (the funny thing was that I never gave her any reason to cheat, that period. I showed her unconditional love and care).
Trust me, I know how this can hurt and I understand to a large extent how you must be feeling. Being on the receiving end of the cheating experience is never a nice thing. The pain, hurt and sense of betrayal can’t be described. It’s even worse when you’re sure you’ve done everything right in the relationship and have seemingly given your spouse no reason to step out.
But my dear, Sh** happens. It’s sad but these things happen. Just like you would expect forgiveness if it was you in this position, forgive your girlfriend truly and move on! I am not saying this because I’m a girl; it’s actually the same counsel I would give your girlfriend if you were the one that cheated. She made a mistake, one that she apparently isn’t proud of. She confessed and she’s learned a thing or two. Focus on how to make the relationship work for you both. Look at how this can make your bond stronger and hopefully, somewhere down the line, you two will be able to look back and tease each other about it.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, she loves you and you love her too. Forgive your girl and embrace her again. It will be pretty difficult for you but you can do it. I know this because I have seen it happen before. I have seen couples bounce back from incidents like this, whether it was the man or the woman who cheated. What I have learnt is that Forgiveness is a choice. It’s something you decide to do, despite how much it hurts. It can be a tough choice but it makes you a better person.
May I also advice that you two should sit down, hold hands and pray with/for each other? You will be amazed how much of a difference this will make.
TO ALL DD READERS….
You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ firstname.lastname@example.org. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.
I look forward to hearing from you…