Dear Davina,

This is very important to me.  I am a young man of 29. Three years ago I had a daughter with a lady I love. Before the arrival of our daughter, I went to do what’s called knocking in our tradition, letting the family know that I want to marry their daughter. After about two years, my so-called wife started having an affair with another guy, they had sex severally which even resulted to pregnancy. When I heard about it, I was hurt but I forgave her.

Life was going on well until I lost my job. I am yet to find another job so sometimes, I delay in sending my daughter’s allowance. However, I always send the money, although it is sometimes late. The last time we met, she told me that there’s someone giving her money. These days, if I don’t call her, she doesn’t call and anytime I call, she wants to pick a fight with me. She told me once that she doesn’t enjoy sex with me anymore. She gets angry at even the slightest thing I do.

Read Also: I broke with my boyfriend because of his smoking habit, Did I make a mistake?

I am confused. I suspect that she’s cheating on me…  How do I find out? The truth too is that I love her and would wanna settle with her and raise my daughter.. Please help me.


My 2-Cents:

Your story is incomplete. I’m not sure what’s going on here?

Are you two formally engaged? I assume you are not living with your daughter so she’s with her? You called her wife, at the same time saying you want to settle with her… Why are you guys still not married, after the “knocking” you did two years ago? Why is another man giving her money? Are they business partners or do they work together?

Read also: I’ve put up with his infidelity for 2 years, I am tired!

I need some clarity here. However, be all the issues as might be, you need to sit with her and you two have a hard talk. A woman needs to be assured and re-assured that she’s secure with the man she’s with. You might also need to ask her what it is she wants as there’s no point pouring water continuously into a basket.

All the best


Read also: So you want to marry? Part 6 – A Pratical Guide for the Lady seeking a Husband


You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…




Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.