Hello, in today’s Dear Davina, we would be studying a change in relationship dynamics. What says a woman shouldn’t be the one to propose to the guy? I will first take Shola’s letter and then we can discuss it in details.
Dear Davina, Should I Propose To Him.
there is this chap at church I have been friends with for a while. I like him and I know he likes me. He seems to be painfully shy and I am fully aware that he doesn’t have someone.
I am thinking of walking up to him and proposing we have a relationship because it doesn’t look like anything would happen if I let him be. My Friends are discouraging me on the grounds that it is not right. What do you think about it?
Dear Shola, thanks for your letter which I find quite fresh and a bit unconventional.
There is really nothing wrong in your proposing to him and I think you should go ahead and do it. The worst that will come out of it would be that he would say no.
A lot of women would like to propose to a guy but hesitate for two reasons. First of all, Some women and men too, assume that it is either a desperate or loose woman with no values that would propose to a guy first but that is quite old and archaic thinking.
Secondly, some women believe that a guy should work to get a girl. They think that if it is too easy, the guy wouldn’t value them as much. These are the fundamental reasons why women play hard to get and also why we don’t see that many women proposing.
I know several happily married women who were the ones that did the proposing to their spouses. I don’t detect any disrespect in their relationship and any maltreatment. Of course, as in all relationships, it can also go both ways.
Since you are both in the same church, go meet the pastor or an elder you are comfortable with and tell them about the guy and your desires towards him. Allow them to talk to him. They would likely be able to know his true feelings and reveal to him that you are interested if positive.
This would remove the awkwardness from the situation and make it comfortable for both of you. Since the elders would have assured him that you are indeed interested, it would make him less shy.
If you weren’t in a church, I would have advised you to find a good opportunity to pop the question. If you guys have a mutual friend whom you trust, the friend can act as a go-between and find out what his thoughts are towards you, ahead of the question popping.
I do hope this helps.
I would love to hear the rest of the love story. Please do drop me a line after.
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