Dear Davina,

I’m in my late twenties and recently got engaged. I’ve always been a bed wetter, right from childhood. I mean, as kids, it was seen as something that we’d grow out of. I guess I stopped the very frequent (every night) bed wetting at 11/12 but occasionally I would have that dream about me standing in front of the toilet and I will realize that I’ve wet the bed when I wake up.

I didn’t attend a boarding school, but when I got into uni, This was still happening. I remember my first year at the university, I stayed in the hostel and I wet the bed one night. I stayed on top bunk and the urine traveled down to my bunkie’s face. That remains one of the top three most embarrassing moments of my life. After first year, I moved to off-campus accommodation and there were still a few occurrences.

When I started dating, I lived with the constant fear that I’d wet the bed so I hardly slept over. But after a while without any incident, I got my confidence back. And when I spent the night with an ex, I did bed wet. I didn’t know how to cover up. I mean, if it was my house, I’d have known what to do, but here I was in the open. The ex saw what happened and comforted me saying he wasn’t upset. He even called throughout the day to reassure me of his love. But the vicious cycle continued.

Read also: He’s marrying someone else but wants to keep me as a side chic

Just when you think you’ve overcome, there will be this slip up. Recently I visited my fiancé in his family home and it happened. i tried all my antics to dry out the bed. I don’t know if he noticed, but he never spoke about it. I haven’t told him about it either. Because I don’t know if I will say I bed wet, because it only happens occasionally (like once in two months or less).

What do you think? We are getting married this December, should I tell him or not?

________________________________________________________________________

My 2-Cents:

This is a challenge darling and one I can well relate with. As kids, we always felt embarrassed when we had one of those ‘accidents’ talk less at adulthood. I can totally understand your apprehension. The closest I have come to anything as embarrassing as an adult was the first time I stained my ex’s car seat with menstruation blood. He had come visiting and we sat in his car to talk. We were there a while, then he left and I went back into my house only for me to realize that the seat of my pants was completely soaked with blood. I knew instantly I had stained his car and I felt very embarrassed. I dreaded having to do it but I quickly called him and told him to turn on his inner lights to see what I had done to his car seat. He immediately assured me it was nothing he couldn’t fix and till today, we still laugh over it.

However, I know Bedwetting is different, especially as you can’t predict when it’ll happen. I think giving the man whose bed you’ll be sharing some heads up is a good idea. Give him the opportunity to choose to stay or go. If you get married without telling him, you’ll be taking that choice away from him and he might forever resent you for it. The best you can do is pray he is able to handle it. I like to think that if he’s the right man for you, he’ll stay and help you deal with the situation. If he walks away because of this, then he was never the right one for you. Don’t be mad at him, just let him go and trust that you’ll be fine.

Read also: Should I pray for a breakup so HE can become mine?

Meanwhile, you’ll need to work on overcoming this challenge. You are going to have to do this for yourself, whether you have the support of a man or you are alone. Do it for you and for your unborn children. Even if your man is cool with it, I don’t think you want your kids to know that mommy also wears diapers and uses mackintosh like them. It’s simply not cool!

Whilst adult bedwetting is considered a medical condition, I know it can very well be dealt with through mind management. You can take charge of your mind such that you have control over your body even when you are fast asleep. Like I tell people, your body is yours and it responds to you. So, alongside managing your mind, talk to your bladder and your body system before you go to bed and tell it how to behave. It will respond over time. Having a recreated spirit actually goes a long way here.

Read also: I’m ready to marry but I don’t know if she loves me

So, Yes, I strongly advocate you tell your fiance and if he’s fine with it, fantastic! You now have a partner who can help you deal with the situation. Don’t take it for granted, engage him as much as possible and defeat this thing!

Do keep me posted… I’ll be praying for you.

Much Love,
Davina

———————————————————————————————

TO ALL DD READERS….

You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…

xoxoxoxoxo

Davina

21 COMMENTS

  1. Comment: girl there are ways to control your bed wet at least 1 in 10 peple battle with that problem, just mind your laxative, quantity of water intake and don’t eat late. it woun’t continue forever wit time you will be surprise that you can hold up urine in your bladder till dawn.

  2. it is infection ,kindly tell a nurse in other to treat you.it shows YOU are still a virgin.if you dont have nurse contact me i will direct you because it happened to me after my weding

  3. Comment:am a living witness of this bedwetting of a tin….i recently stop mine wit prayers and the ability to control the way I eat and my water in take…I had to open up to my fiance wen we started dating and he accepted me d way I am…we constantly pray and fasted togeda over it and any tym I want to overstep my bounds to eat late he put me to caution…am happy I overcame it and my wedding is coming up december….my advice is that u tell him everytin coz bedwetting is a big disgrace…I pray God will make him urs even after he knows d truth.

  4. Hmmmn. This got me remembering back years ago when I was still bedwetting. Everybody in the house took it as a joke and even changed my middle name to piss-piss. I was always so embarrassed but I guess I didn’t really take it serious till a woman preacher said it could be a spiritual attack. I’m not trying to make you scared or anything but after prayers! My dear from that day till today, nothing like that I tell you. Just like a commenter said, late night drinking of water should be a No-No and of course too much carbohydrates! Set your alarm for every one hour at first to wake you up so you will gauge if you wish to wee! Nne and of course tell him! Some guys wicked sha… weeks to your wedding he could call it off. It happened to a family friend but she didn’t share her problem in time, she preferred to hide in silence. It is well.

LEAVE A REPLY