Dear Davina,

I have this male friend and we talk very well. But he is always jealous when he sees another guy talking to me. He talks outside with me so initimately that people around have started asking if we’re dating. So jokingly, I asked him one day what he wanted from me and he said he wanted just friendship and that he had heard the rumor going around.

What’s bothering me is that he calls me his own. He sometimes addresses me with his surname & so on. I am sick and tired of this. Even when I sometimes ignore him or avoid talking to him, he still comes around.

Pls i need ur advice.


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My 2-Cents:

I’ll tell you straight up, cut this guy loose. Guys like him are bad business! Friends with or without benefits that just crowd your space and block correct people from entering. They are a girl’s worst nightmare. He’s toying with you, whether consciously or unconsciously. He can’t be marking territory without doing the needful. He should not go and chase all the potential serious guys away when he is himself not ready to put a ring on it.

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Meanwhile, there’s the tendency for you to get comfortable with this friendship and not realize time is going and that you need a life. Until you wake up one morning to see the guy’s wedding invitation on your bedside table. You won’t be able shout or do anything at that point because the guy already told you from the beginning that all he wanted was friendship. You chose to take his “jokes” seriously.

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Have a heart-to-heart discussion with him, one last time. No mincing words. It is something I have had to do a couple of times. It is not exactly very comfortable but it gets the job done. Let him know where you stand and how that you would need space if he’s indeed not interested in anything more than friendship. If he really cares about you like a good friend, he will understand and respect your decision and need for space.

Should he continue with his shenanigans, please cut him loose and walk away. Throw away the friendship and all. If he later decides he wants a real relationship, let him do things right. If you’re still available then, you can give it a shot; if not, tough luck!
All the best dear.
Much Love


You can send your “Dear Davina’ letters to me directly @ I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is ‘for my eyes only’ and I promise complete anonymity where I decide to publish your letter.

I look forward to hearing from you…





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