Dear Davina: We Are Both AS Genotype

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Dear Davina: We Are Both AS Genotype

Dear Davina,
I have known this guy for almost all my life and I am madly in love with him. He is the love of my life and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

We are both in the same church and as a lead up to the marriage, we were asked to do our genotype amongst other tests. Learning that we are both AS Genotype, we have been adviced by the church not to marry citing the sure possibility of having SS children.

We both believe that our love and faith can carry it and want to go ahead and marry. We, however, seem to be the only ones on this journey. Please help.

Warm regards
Sandra

Dear Davina, My Ex Wants To Mess Up My Engagement

My 2-Cents…

Dear Sandra, thanks for your letter
There is a good reason why both of you seem to be the only ones on this journey. I have here, an article here that explains a whole lot about genotypes especially about the AS and SS genotype and why people such as AS genotype who are carriers of the SS genotype shouldn’t plan to have children.

The issue here isn’t about not marrying. It is about the high possibility of having a child with SS Genotype. Trust me, no matter how much you love each other, that marriage would face severe trials.

Dear Davina, My Wedding Is Next Month And My Ex Wants Me To Have Sex With Her “One Last Time”

My Advice…

They say that Love always finds a way. If you guys are planning to have a child, my advice is to not get married. This is not just about you but what I consider a selfish act of bringing to this world someone who would have to bear so much punishment for life.

Having once dated someone with the SS genotype, also having had several SS Genotype who are friends as well as friends with SS genotype kids. It is not fun at all especially having to be at their burial so young in life. Think beyond yourself and your guy. Think about the unborn child.

Yes, there are medical advances available today that helps you select the child’s genotype but they come at both a moral and financial price.

On the other hand, you and your husband can choose to adopt a child or have children fertilised from the egg or sperm of a proven AA genotype donor. This would surely bypass the issues around the AS genotype but you must both know that this is what you want.

The bible lets us know that the same God that gives us miracles also gives us wisdom and He lets us know that wisdom is profitable to direct.

I do hope this helps.

Davina
________________________________________________________________________________
TO ALL DD READERS….
You can send your Dear Davina letters to me directly @ davina.r@davinadiaries.com. I assure you whatever you send to this mailbox is for my eyes only and I promise complete anonymity when I decide to publish your letter.
I look forward to hearing from you
xoxoxoxoxo
Davina

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3 COMMENTS

  1. That’s good advice Ross
    As a nurse who works at the emergency room I can say that a child with sickle cell is something no one should willingly wish on themselves. It will drain you financially, physically and mentally. Living and not knowing what the next minute of that child’s life is going to be is hard.

  2. Great advice Ross. Being AS myself I found myself in a similar situation years ago. Yet we took the decision to part ways and to date we are still very good friends and I can say it’s one of the best decisions we took. Today we both married and happy in our respective homes. My dad is a sickler and I was convinced by the numerous crisis he had at a very tender age that bringing a sickler to this world is very cruel and selfish. My grandparents gave birth to 4 sicklers and today my dad us the only surviving one. He watched his siblings die one after another through no fault of theirs. 2 of my cousins also died to sickle cell at a very young age. I agree that breaking things off will be painful but God will see you through and enough u will meet the perfect match😉

  3. If it was just the 2 of you alone in the journey, I’ll say go right ahead. However, what of the children who might likely be SS! Have you ever seen the pain those children go through? The effect of all parties concerned psychologically is better described. With time the love will dwindle under pressure and you’ll both regret it. Respect your love for one another and bid each other goodbye with good memories to reminiscent over!

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