Wow, It is Friday already and another Dear Davina day. Thanks for sticking with me all right through this week. I hope you were able to go through the several Dear Davina’s we have had. I would also recommend some of the My Divorce stories. This week, we did a matching Dear Davina and a My divorce Story from the same person. Awesome!!
I have a very interesting letter today from Busola. I usually edit letters a lot, working around the English, spellings and syntax. I found this letter so fresh and expressive that I decided to leave it that way. Here goes:
Dear Davina: Which Of These Two Guys Should I Settle Down With
I currently have two guys in my life.
The first guy(let’s call him Mr A) is like a best friend to me. We actually attempted dating for about two months or so till I stumbled on his chats with another lady and there he was being futuristic with her and I asked him about it and his reply was that he is only flirting and didn’t mean any of that but I sha called it quit cos I can’t be having that kind of person as a boo. So, we hit it anew on a friendship mode but the problem is that we were still getting intimate.
Fast forward to five months later, a really cool dude (Mr B) came around and since I was single(officially), I said yes to him(I really wanted a boo of my own) and we started dating. I told him about MR A being my best friend and all that (but I didn’t spill the intimacy part and the part of our dating for two months) and he didn’t really have much of a problem with it.
I made resolutions to stick to Mr B and distance my self from Mr A….I honestly tried but In three months time, I was already back to being intimate wt Mr A. Don’t get me wrong…I really do love Mr B..
Here are good/bad sides to the both of them.
MrA is my first point of call if I’m ill or anything similar, the way he takes care of me….I have never had that. He pampers me, takes care of me, buys me gifts (even when he is just a student like me)we fight/play together(I mistakenly slapped him but dude would never lay his hands on me). I know about almost all his money sources…in fact, I used to keep his money for him at a point… He seeks approval from me before doing things, we eat and walk together etc..
Mr A however still has his chats ongoing with the different girls, there’s one he nearly got intimate with and when I found out, I stayed away but he came back begging and all that and has ended that one but I keep reminding him of it anyway and I don’t look at him the way I used to.
Mr B, on the other hand never fails to remind me of how much he loves me.
Dude was(don’t know about now…just read along) so faithful that I would secretly just wish he would have a fling or sth but he’s too disciplined and spiritual for that.
I reported myself to him for the flings I had with Mr A(I eventually opened up everything to him cos he suspected) and he was bitter(dude actually shed tears…. Mind you… He’s the strongest guy I know). He has forgiven me for over three times now and he tells me that he knows I still had something for Mr A but I should know that I have him as a bf and I should concentrate.
On the other hand, he doesn’t give as much(this is where I get to compare…yes I know it’s bad). Just last week he made me finish my airtime calling him and I told him God will use him to get me another airtime but lailai…till today, nothing.
He’s even the one working but u will not see anything.
He doesn’t give me the kind of treat I want(shey if you love someone, your actions will also show it).
He gave me a material on my birthday last month but earlier he gave me perfume.
It’s almost two years of our dating and I can’t say I’ve gotten up to N10000 cash all through from him.
He’s a good guy but me I don’t like a stingy person and yes, I ‘ve brought up the issue before yet there’s no improvement.
He’s been talking marriage but recently I’m not fascinated any longer like I used to be.
P/s: they are both tall, dark and handsome(especially MrB….his own is out of this world).
The deal now is that I don’t want to hurt Mr B. any longer and its almost impossible to detach from Mr A. for the next three months (we are course mates, same project group etc).
By the way, they know themselves…. I had introduced them…
Dear Davina, please help me analyze from the character I have written.
I do get the inner whispers that I should just leave the both of them and start afresh because I’ll always search for the character of one in the other.
Thank you for the long read.
My Two cents…
hehehehehehe you really do remind me of Alibaba and the forty thieves. You remind me so much of the Divorce story of Abraham we published recently. I have come across this severally where one party is a player and is upset when they find the other one playing. You are in a relationship with B, more than likely sleeping with him. You are sleeping with A, thus cheating on B yet you are upset that A is keeping relationships with other girls. Girl, you are indeed a case!!
From your letter, you are obviously a vivacious, bubbly and happy person, I can see why both men would want to keep you even when they both know you are having something with the other
1. First of all, I hope you are aware that you are in a full relationship with both of them. Not only are you sleeping with both of them you are doing full girlfriend duties with A to the point that you are even chasing away his hangers-on. You are preventing and distracting the guy from having a proper relationship with someone else.
2. I really wonder why it is so much of an issue to you that Mr A is flirting with other women. You haven’t caught him red-handed and you are already offended. Meanwhile, here you are in a confirmed relationship and you are sleeping with someone else even to the hurt of the other party.
3. You like several women make the mistake of equating love and money or affections with gifts. You have a guy who is loyal to you, who seems to be everything you want and yet you fault him on the grounds of being stingy. My dear, a relationship isn’t valued by giftings. He sounds principled and that you would have to respect, rather than coding, ask him directly for the airtime and see what he says. One thing you never mentioned are the gifts you have been showering on the men in return. Gifting in a relationship should be a two-way street.
4. If I was to help you, I would ask that you should please leave Mr B alone; the guy appears too decent for you. As it is, you have expressed a lack of desire to marry him even though he has proposed; showing that your mind is already made up. Allow the guy to lick his wounds and move on. The best man for you is Mr A. You both enjoy each other and are very comfortable in each other’s company. For the heck of it, he is even willing to keep you knowing you are sleeping with someone else. His flirting shouldn’t be a problem for you.
The real problem is you. You sound like a spoilt and possessive person who doesn’t know how to recognise goodness and when the goodness is in her life. People like you focus more on the material aspects of life and end up ruining themselves in the end. I would advise that you work on your self. Get to understand decency and priority and what you really want out of life. Then, choices would be much easier and less over mundane things like this. Cheers
TO ALL DD READERS…
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I look forward to hearing from you