Darling Diary,

I don’t know if I’m doomed or cursed, why can’t I ever find love? why does love have to hurt this badly.

My name is Redeemed Akpan and I am a lovesick writer.

‘Riri…where are you’? I shut my diary at once and wiped the streak of tears that had fallen on my face, Deji had done it again, he’d cheated on me with another woman. I met him three months back in a bank, we were both on a queue so we could make use of the automated Teller machine, somehow we got talking, I found him very handsome, he was alluring and sweet mouthed.

I am Twenty-three years old and this is the first man I have dated, I love him so much but her keeps hurting me.

Diary of a Lovesick Writer – Episode 1

‘There you are, why didn’t you answer’? Mfon found me in my room.

‘Welcome’ I said and looked away, she couldn’t see me this way, I didn’t want her to worry about me.

We had been friends for four years, we both studied in the same institution though varied departments, we graduated the same here and lived together while waiting for the National Youth Service Corps.

We were both working and could afford a house, she was from a rich home, so we lived in a two bedroom flat. It took my parents much convincing to let me out of their sight, but I really needed to be free, to be independent and focus on my writing career and to find love too.

‘What’s wrong Riri’? she shifted close to me.

‘I’m fine’ I retorted and rose to my feet. She had never sanctioned my relationship with Deji, she found him unworthy of me and full of himself, but she was so wrong, Deji was the man of my dreams, he was everything I’d always wanted in a man.

Tall, dark, beardy and understanding, but he had begun acting funny after six months of dating him. He rarely called or texted, I could feel him slipping out of my hands, that was when I discovered he’d been cheating on me with other women.

‘How was work’? she wasn’t convinced.

‘I didn’t go’ I replied, it was true, seeing pictures of him kissing another woman on his Instagram page made me jealous and it ruined my day. I worked with an online company, I blogged on relationship matters and I delivered love stories to their blog.

You Are Reading: Diary of a Lovesick Writer – Episode 1

‘Why? Why are you so uptight? Is this about your Boyfriend?’ she carefully studied me.

‘What do you care’? I packed up my laptop and my diary from the bed, I intended to walk away from her, I intended to be alone, to think about what to do next.

‘I care about your sanity Redeemed, I care about your peace and your happiness, why do you keep holding unto this guy? He isn’t as crazy about you like you are for him, let go of Deji before you make a mistake you’ll regret’ she advised.

‘It’s my life and not yours, excuse me’ I was stubborn about this.

‘Have you slept with him yet? Has he seen your panties? That could explain his lack of commitment, once a man sees your nakedness, they’d start taking you for granted’ she said.

‘And if I do, is that a bad thing? Just let me be Mfon, you don’t know how much he’s gotten under my skin’ I replied and pushed the door.

‘Just don’t get hurt’ she sighed and dropped on the bed.

You Are Reading: Diary of a Lovesick Writer – Episode 1

‘Whatever’ I replied, still pissed. The truth is, I haven’t had sex before, I’m still a virgin, but Deji had been pestering me to sleep with him, I was afraid and I couldn’t take such a bold step, besides I’m a firm believer in pre-marital sex though my fiction characters usually engage in it a lot.

I sat on the couch and fetched my phone, maybe having sex with him could keep, I guess that was why he went after those other women.

 At that point in time, I was ready to do anything just to save my relationship, anything at all.

Deji was a nice guy, he was very generous and knew how to treat a lady well, what made me fall for him was his romantic side, he could write poems, send you flowers or just call you at night and say nothing.

Those things had stolen my heart and I couldn’t find any other man like Deji, but now? He’d stopped calling like before, he’d stopped caring and when I complained about it, he always told me he was busy.

I surfed the web for ten minutes before I logged into facebook, luckily, he was online, REDEEMDso this was the time to talk.

REDEEMED: good evening Deji, we need to talk.


You Are Reading: Diary of a Lovesick Writer – Episode 1

You no longer care about me, we’re drifting apart, don’t you want me anymore? I love you so much Deji and I don’t want to lose you.

DEJI: Lmao, you love me? You’re kidding Riri, you’re right, we’re drifting apart, let’s break up, what’s the point of pretending to be in love? When we’re both miserable and sad, you don’t love me, if you did, you’d prove it.

REDEEMED: Please don’t break up on me, I would do anything you ask me too, how can show you that I love you?

I was crying at this point, love was a two-edged sword, one moment it made you smile the next moment, you were in tears.

DEJI: Come over to my place, show me you love me, darling, make love to me and let’s pleasure ourselves.

REDEEMED: If that’s what would make you happy.

DEJI: Aii, be expecting you, be quick about it.

REDEEMED: I love you

DEJI: same here.

‘Are you crying’? Mfon wouldn’t let me be.

‘What does it look like’? I hissed and walked away from her, this was a golden opportunity, I needed to take it, I needed to make Deji love me, I was prepared to offer him my maidenhead.

‘What in god’s name has possessed this girl? Why do I have a feeling she’s about to do something stupid’ Mfon hissed and rushed towards the room.

‘Where are you going Riri? It’s dark, tell me’ she pressed on.

‘I’m seeing a friend, don’t wait up, I won’t be back home’ I deliberately left out Deji’s name, I didn’t want her to dissuade me from going.

‘A friend? What friend’? she wouldn’t let it go.

‘Don’t wait up’ I replied and rushed out of the house, leaving my friend in a sea of confusion and fear for me.

You Are Reading: Diary of a Lovesick Writer – Episode 1

I took a cab to his place, I’d been there a couple of times. He lived alone in a residential area, the house was exquisite, Deji was from a wealthy family, though he wasn’t working yet, he’d just finished his Master’s program at the University of Leeds, London. He told me his family owned a company and he was to be trained before being absorbed

‘Ding dong…’ I fingered the doorbell.

I licked my lips nervously, the wind was cruel and made the night colder than it’d been on other days. A new year had just begun, yet January couldn’t hold her rain.

‘Who do we have here’? he whispered seductively, he pulled the door open and stared into my face. I could feel his eyes on my breast, he wanted me, he desired me, this pleased me greatly.

‘Hey…’ I pecked him and stepped into the house.

‘How was your trip down here’? he held my hand and kissed it.

‘Fine’ I was a bit uneasy, I’d never been with a man before.

‘Good, look at this table…’ he left my hand and caressed the table.

‘Yes?’ I wondered what he was up to.

‘I bought it for a million, it’s beautiful, isn’t it’? he asked.

‘Okay, nice’ I nodded.

‘I want us to make love here, on this table, right now, show me you love me Riri’ he walked towards me and placed a gentle kiss on my mouth.

The coldness I felt before, suddenly vanished and was replaced by warmth, the warmth of his hands on my back and the warmth of his presence.

…To be continued

You Have Been Reading: Diary of a Lovesick Writer – Episode 1

Click to read Episode

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  1. Nobody wants to comment. …lol.. .DD get ready to hear too short from all your readers except if we are getting 2episodes per day.. Better still I will join others and wait till d whole story is out then read it all at once. Nice story line


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