My marriage was one filled with a lot of storms. I married my husband as a naïve twenty year old. I had been out of secondary school and was looking forward to going further in my studies. I was introduced to my husband by family friends. My parents liked him and encouraged us to get married.
Felix was almost seven years older than I was and worked as a clerk in a bank. He promised to send me to school but I didn’t have much of a choice because my parents were really pushing me.
Shortly after our wedding, I took in. At that time my husband also gained admission for a part time course in accounting. He wanted to go higher in the banking industry and move up from the level of a clerk. I was nursing our son while he was mostly out of town.
I was happy that he had a value for education and actually expected that I would be able to further mine after he had ended his. I brought it up with him and he would say I should be patient and hold on. This was the story until I had five children within ten years of the marriage.
He spoke roughly to me at every opportunity. Then he began to beat me. If the soup was too peppery, he would deal me a heavy slap, if I wasted time in serving his meal, I got slaps. He ridiculed me in the presence of guests.
I told my mother all these but she asked me to endure. He grew in his field of banking but I had nothing to show for myself except my children. I started selling foodstuff when he got transferred to another state. When he got to hear of it, he stopped giving me allowances. He would only pay the children’s school fees but leave every other thing to me.
I suffered so much and aged quickly. It was my children that kept me going. They knew I was being abused and they had my back always. My husband soon returned to our state and continued tormenting me. He taunted me and compared me with other women.
I went into depression and at some point I was hospitalized. By this time three of my children had graduated and the youngest two were about rounding up at university. This was the only source of my joy.
Little did I know that my husband had another family elsewhere. His frequent trips out of town gave him away and also the wedding ceremony of our first daughter. The woman had the nerve to show up with her children.
I had stopped having any form of emotions for him years ago. I only wanted my youngest child out of the house before I moved. As soon as my youngest child graduated, I moved out of the house. My eldest daughter had relocated to the US with her husband who was a citizen. After she had her first child I went to visit her and decided to remain there. I returned a year later only to finalize my divorce.
Felix didn’t believe I could divorce him. He ranted and raved but I ignored him. I dissolved my twenty seven year old marriage not because I wanted to marry someone else but because I needed my peace. I knew he had no regards for me and was only using me.
I had secretly started some online courses with the help of my kids some years back and I used the one year I was in the US to finally graduate. It was tough doing those online courses. It took me almost 6 years to do a four year course but it was gratifying finally being a graduate even if at 46.
Hello Ross, My Husband’s Freind Grabbed My boobs
I have time on my hands and I am about to start a masters program. At the same time, I have expanded my foodstuff business and I now supply African shops in the USA. God has been good and I am doing very well.
One of my kids recently married and my ex-husband was shocked at my transformation when he saw me. I footed all the bills and I was looking quite elegant and grant. He tried getting close during the ceremonies and has been calling me ceaselessly on one matter or the other. I am enjoying the attention but I intend to give him no space. It is not too late to start all over again.
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