Good day dear Ross, I am a 35 years old lady, a mum of 2 lovely kids but I’m currently separated from my husband. We are not divorced yet as he is still begging me not to go through with the divorce.
My husband hurt me really bad, he dragged my reputation in the mud and worse is that he kept blaming the devil for what he did instead of taking responsibility for his action.
I married a gentleman which makes me wonder how we got here and what made him do what he did.
We were University sweethearts, we got married 4 years after we both graduated as luck smiled on us and we were able to do well in our chosen careers. We were soul mates, we knew each other like the back of our palms.
I took in almost immediately we got married and it threatened my career, so when my maternity leave was over, Hubby and I decided to get a house help who was experienced with kids. Thankfully we got one who was also a mother and she would take care of our baby while I was at work and would leave once I got back from work.
I actually never liked the idea of a live-in nanny or help, so I was very comfortable with the arrangement I had with my help. She was with us till I had my second baby and resigned afterwards on the grounds that she wanted to relocate to her village.
After she resigned, I had trouble finding a suitable help like her, I spent months searching. So eventually, I settled for a live-in maid as my children were becoming more demanding for attention and my career also became more demanding due to the promotion I got as a branch manager.
A friend helped me in getting the new help from an agent and everything seemed to be fine. Even my hubby stopped complaining about how much time I put into my job than family. I also knew I had to do something about my unavailability at home and was working towards quitting my 9-5 job soon to face my home and business. Then something happened………..
One public holiday morning, I sat to have breakfast with my family, glad to be spending time with them when something funny and off the chart took place while we were at the dining table.
My husband asked our help to get him more egg serving from the kitchen, but I noticed he kept calling her and she ignored him. He called her name and she ignored until I called her, then asked her to get me more eggs from the kitchen, it took her a long time to deliver, so my husband stood up to go check what was keeping her.
Moments later, I began to hear voices and then struggles like two people in a fight. Bewildered, I ran into the kitchen only to see my help fighting my husband while he was just busy holding her down without retaliating.
I was shocked at the scene that confronted me as I would have expected my husband to slap the living day light out of her for daring to be so disrespectful.
Enraged, I then pounced on the help and gave her the beating of her life for disrespecting my husband. Still angered by her act, I also asked her to pack her things and leave my house.
Lo and behold, my husband began to beg on my help’s behalf, saying she might be depressed and going through something we were unaware of, which maybe the reason she acted that way, he pleaded that I should forgive her as he had forgiven her.
Forgive her?! Our maid disrespected my husband in my very presence and all he had to say was that I should forgive her. I refused to listen to him and insisted that she leaves but my husband kept begging. It was as though his life depended on her staying in the house.
I was perplexed and worried.
Hubby now went further to say that even if we were to send her out of the house, it shouldn’t be at that time, he pleaded that we give her a little more time.
Then I became suspicious: Why would my husband plead the cause of a housemaid who disrespected him that much? Could my husband be sleeping with my house help?
Then I thought about the guts the girl had to fight him and the fact that he did nothing to reprimand her. It was all too overwhelming for me to take in at once.
Yes, I know my husband was a perfect gentleman who has never raised his hands on any woman or even kids, but this act of his got me really worried.
I called my friend who got me the maid and reported what happened to her. She immediately raised an alarm that got me worried the more. She then told me to let her know the moment my husband goes out of the house so she could have some privacy with the maid and I did.
On getting to my house, my friend began to threaten my maid with all sorts of words and torture for her to tell us why she disrespected my husband. After much threats and occasional torture, my maid began to open up and I wish she didn’t.
She confessed how my husband had sex with her severally in my absence and even claimed to be pregnant which was what put a strain to their relationship, hence the quarrel they had.
I think I fainted or something like that. My friend managed to revive me and I was still sweating all over. How could my darling husband do this to me? How could he stoop so low as to impregnating our help.
My friend immediately asked my maid to pack her belongings telling her she had done enough havoc in one family. several hours later, hubby wasn’t yet back when I got a call from my friend, she told me she took the maid to a doctor and got her examined and it was confirmed she was 5 weeks pregnant. She then told me the shocking part where she asked the doctor to get rid of the pregnancy.
I started crying again, I felt guilty of murdering an innocent child even though I never asked my friend to do it, she did it for me. I didn’t know whether to thank her or not, I knew she was only looking out for my best interest. When I kept silent for a long time, she told me not to worry, that I will be glad she got rid of it later and hung up.
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Hubby came in later and met me mopping at the wall with blood shot eyes, he immediately sensed what had happened went in to look for the maid and when he couldn’t find her or her things, he asked our eldest son who told him the help had left with a big box.
He came to where I was a seated and the first thing he said was where is the maid? At that moment I didn’t know what came over me for I took the bottle of MacDowell which I was drinking from and flung it at him aiming for his head but it missed and got smashed against the wall.
Terrified at what would have happened had I not missed my target, I ran for the room and locked myself in.
My husband knocked severally on the door but I didn’t open. That was the beginning of our separation. Something snapped in me that day. I felt betrayed, humiliated, disgraced that my husband was ready to put our marriage and happiness in jeopardy because of a filthy maid and lust.
He can’t say I do not carry out my duties as a wife. I never thought he was so sex starved to have slept with a maid and I wondered who else he was sleeping with outside our home. The love, trust, and respect I had for him died that day and he knew it.
Weeks later, we were still engaged in a cold war, no one spoke to each other, my husband took out his clothes from the room we shared and moved to the guest room.
I didn’t bother to involve our families and he didn’t as well. I kept thinking I would heal and come to forgive him but I haven’t still come around to doing that yet. I don’t know if I would ever be able to live with a cheating man for the rest of my life, so I filed for divorce.