Sorry I have been away for a while. I had some private matters occupying me which one day, I might be bold enough to share ( hahhahaha, not that kind). Anyways, I am back and I know you have missed me.
Today we take the divorce story of Adaku. While the story isn’t all too common, I am sure you have come across a couple of stories of friends sleeping with the husband of another friend. How do we deal with this? Do we now say that all your friends shouldn’t come to your house? Anyways, when you read this story, you would see that Nneka’s friends were a peculiar type.
Please let me know your thoughts. As usual, let’s have this conversation. If you have a story you would like to share or seek counselling, please send to firstname.lastname@example.org. I will handle your matter with the utmost confidentiality required.
Divorce Story 55: Adaku, Be Careful Of Your Friends
My marriage ended in a pathetic way. I thought I had met the one but I guess not every good thing is meant to last.
My name is Adaku and here is my divorce story. That saying ‘evil communications corrupt good manners’ is so true. I lost my marriage because of bad company. I was in a clique of friends and we called ourselves the unique babes.
We partied a lot and generally lived flamboyantly; off men of course. I had met these girls during NYSC and we maintained friendship years later. We liked the fine things of life and did so many things to get them.
Years later as we grew older we all wanted to settle down. It proved tough though. We didn’t seem to find the right guys or the good ones were married and had no intentions of leaving their wives.
One of us became the third wife of a wealthy businessman. She didn’t hesitate to flaunt her wealth whenever we met. We still partied together, all four of us but had become a competition about who would snag the richest guy next. I had a good job; in fact, mine paid more than the others. This made them a bit envious some times. I actually didn’t need the men we dated for money but did it anyway. It was more like a fun thing to us.
Then I met Fred and my life began to take a new turn. Fred was a consultant with one of the big accounting firms. He was handsome and financially comfortable. He ticked most of my boxes and I was sure I could settle with him.
When I introduced him to my friends, they were all over him with interest. I didn’t like that, so I tried as much as possible to minimize their contact with him. They wanted to know how we met and all that. They were envious especially Sara and Tochi who were still not in any serious relationship.
Fred was a ladies’ man and I constantly had to compete for his attention but it didn’t bother me much because he took care of me in every way possible. He was also controlling but I didn’t mind. We got married after a year. It was a big and beautiful ceremony. My friends were on my bridal train. It was a huge success.
After my wedding, my husband made me cut off from my friends. I could talk to them over the phone but he hardly ever allowed us to hang out together. I became a different person. I had my first baby and it took a toll on me. I was preoccupied with her always. One day Juliet the one who was the third wife, invited me my baby over for a playdate with her own children, to my surprise, my husband agreed to let me go.
I met Sara and Tochi there. They greeted me casually and I just smiled at them. The atmosphere was stiff but after a while, we eased up and began to chat like old times. They asked after my hubby and I responded that he was fine. Tochi needed to get some information from him and I promised to ask him and get back to her.
When I got home I asked my husband for the information and discovered I had no airtime, so I used Fred’s phone to call Tochi. Biggest mistake of my life. Tochi began to call my husband and feed him with lies about me. She then began to sleep with him. I only found this out when she was already pregnant and she came boldly to my house. Then the revelations poured in.
Fred accused me of unthinkable things. Some of those things happened before I met him. I couldn’t stand the humiliation; my own friend? pregnant for my husband? I may have tried to make it work if not for the circumstances that led to the problem.
I took a walk with my child and never looked back. I filed for a divorce from Fred and cut off all those friends. I changed my number and the city where I lived. I heard that Fred and Tochi are no longer an item, I don’t care. I have left all that. One thing I know is I’ll be ever careful about the kind of people I call friends.