Divorce Story 55: Adaku, Be Careful Of Your Friends

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divorce story 55

Hi,
Sorry I have been away for a while. I had some private matters occupying me which one day, I might be bold enough to share ( hahhahaha, not that kind). Anyways, I am back and I know you have missed me.

Today we take the divorce story of Adaku. While the story isn’t all too common, I am sure you have come across a couple of stories of friends sleeping with the husband of another friend. How do we deal with this? Do we now say that all your friends shouldn’t come to your house? Anyways, when you read this story, you would see that Nneka’s friends were a peculiar type.

Please let me know your thoughts. As usual, let’s have this conversation. If you have a story you would like to share or seek counselling, please send to ross.t@davinadiries.com. I will handle your matter with the utmost confidentiality required.

Warm regards

DEAR ROSS, MY HUSBAND IS GAY AND I AM FINE WITH IT

Divorce Story 55: Adaku, Be Careful Of Your Friends

My marriage ended in a pathetic way. I thought I had met the one but I guess not every good thing is meant to last.

My name is Adaku and here is my divorce story. That saying ‘evil communications corrupt good manners’ is so true. I lost my marriage because of bad company. I was in a clique of friends and we called ourselves the unique babes.

We partied a lot and generally lived flamboyantly; off men of course. I had met these girls during NYSC and we maintained friendship years later. We liked the fine things of life and did so many things to get them.

Years later as we grew older we all wanted to settle down. It proved tough though. We didn’t seem to find the right guys or the good ones were married and had no intentions of leaving their wives.

One of us became the third wife of a wealthy businessman. She didn’t hesitate to flaunt her wealth whenever we met. We still partied together, all four of us but had become a competition about who would snag the richest guy next. I had a good job; in fact, mine paid more than the others. This made them a bit envious some times. I actually didn’t need the men we dated for money but did it anyway. It was more like a fun thing to us.

DIVORCE STORY 53: MAY, HE WANTED TO REAP WHERE HE REFUSED TO SOW

Then I met Fred and my life began to take a new turn. Fred was a consultant with one of the big accounting firms. He was handsome and financially comfortable. He ticked most of my boxes and I was sure I could settle with him.

When I introduced him to my friends, they were all over him with interest. I didn’t like that, so I tried as much as possible to minimize their contact with him. They wanted to know how we met and all that. They were envious especially Sara and Tochi who were still not in any serious relationship.

Fred was a ladies’ man and I constantly had to compete for his attention but it didn’t bother me much because he took care of me in every way possible. He was also controlling but I didn’t mind. We got married after a year. It was a big and beautiful ceremony. My friends were on my bridal train. It was a huge success.

After my wedding, my husband made me cut off from my friends. I could talk to them over the phone but he hardly ever allowed us to hang out together. I became a different person. I had my first baby and it took a toll on me. I was preoccupied with her always. One day Juliet the one who was the third wife, invited me my baby over for a playdate with her own children, to my surprise, my husband agreed to let me go.

I met Sara and Tochi there. They greeted me casually and I just smiled at them. The atmosphere was stiff but after a while, we eased up and began to chat like old times. They asked after my hubby and I responded that he was fine. Tochi needed to get some information from him and I promised to ask him and get back to her.

When I got home I asked my husband for the information and discovered I had no airtime, so I used Fred’s phone to call Tochi. Biggest mistake of my life. Tochi began to call my husband and feed him with lies about me. She then began to sleep with him. I only found this out when she was already pregnant and she came boldly to my house. Then the revelations poured in.

Fred accused me of unthinkable things. Some of those things happened before I met him. I couldn’t stand the humiliation; my own friend? pregnant for my husband? I may have tried to make it work if not for the circumstances that led to the problem.

I took a walk with my child and never looked back. I filed for a divorce from Fred and cut off all those friends. I changed my number and the city where I lived. I heard that Fred and Tochi are no longer an item, I don’t care. I have left all that. One thing I know is I’ll be ever careful about the kind of people I call friends.

Dear Davina, MY BEST FRIEND SLEPT WITH MY BOYFRIEND

11 COMMENTS

  1. Am sorry about what happened to you,but you should have fought for your marriage.
    You are the wife,Tochi was just a distraction and not the wife and she will definitely reap what she did.
    Please forgive your husband and I believe you can still come together as husband and wife. if your husband is willing to come back and ask for your forgiveness,pls accept him.

  2. U knew u had crazy friends so why did u walk out of the marriage. U shouldn’t have left ur home for her. She had no intention of staying just envy. If ur hubby comes back pls accept him and do away with all those friends.

  3. The fact is that you lived a rough life in the past. I will advise single ladies reading your story now. The law of carmal is real. You destroyed someone marriage and expect yours to be built in a firm ground. Maybe you destroyed someone home while you were still single but you learnt your lessons because i you lived a good life in the past, your friend wouldn’t have any bad allegation against you. Forgive your friend and life goes on.

  4. Hmm. Even in your while writing anonymously, I can still sense that you’re also deceptive with a tendency to redirect blame. The first hint was how you justified your earlier life style by “we liked the fine things in life and did a lot of things to get them” with zero remorse. Sounded pretty proud of yourself actually.

    Then, you tried to fault your husband from separating you from your friends… Really? So you really would have kept their company if he hadn’t done that.

    And then the major issue which you smoothly ignored; you didn’t indicate anything about telling him about your “doing a lot to get the finer things in life” days. Given that, I don’t think your friend even had to lie to get him to leave you. She only had to tell him the truths you hid from him.

    He though was dumb to not have reasoned that your “friend” was just as bad.

    In all, I think y’all deserve each other. Too bad you had to drag two children into your messed up lives.

  5. I like how you skillfully glided over the fact that you never told him about your past. Your friend didn’t have to lie. She only told him the truths you hid from him.

    And the guy self is impulsive sha 😂😂. Jumping from you to someone else who did the exact same things as you without thinking about it.

    You all deserve each other. My only regret is that you’ve dragged two children into this mess.

  6. Pls will the comments be same if it was the woman having the affair? Did the man tell her his history with other women? It’s sad that our society has such double standards, makes me wonder if God has a different set of rules for men and for women. Then how does it make him a fair judge then, cuz we don’t choose our gender before birth, or do we?
    She shld forgive, but it doesn’t mean she has to take him back, the episode he had with her friend also shows the sort of person he is. Why wasn’t he willing to approach his wife and verify whatever stories he was told? Why didn’t he “forgive and work on the marriage”?? He made her cust off her friends but he entertained the very person he didn’t want his wife associating with.

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