Divorce Story 58: Daphne, The Temptation I Didn’t Resist.

divorce story 58

Dear Ross, they say God won’t give anyone a temptation too great for that person to overcome but I failed mine woefully. Not only did I fail myself as a wife but I also failed as a woman who was known to be virtuous and godly. My name is Daphne, this is my divorce story and this is how it all began.

My husband and I had been friends for as long as I can remember. We both attended the same church as teenagers went to the same college and pretty much stayed in touched when we had cause to be away from each other. Everyone around us knew it would end in marriage even before Godwin proposed. So we were friends for fifteen years, dated in between and got married. We were not the perfect couple but we were very much in love and happy.

Six years down the line of marriage, we already had two kids, a boy and girl and we would often go back and forth about wanting more kids, he wanted more but I was done. We usually ended up laughing over these arguments.

From the moment we started dating, I had never had eyes for another man but my husband and I believe it was same for him as well. We were content with raising our family and growing our businesses until that day.

I went to the supermarket on that fateful day to shop for things. Halfway into shopping, I met a man buying perfume, I was about getting one for myself when he asked my opinion about what body spray and perfume to get as a gift for a lady. Being a perfumes freak, I instantly gave him names of some good designer perfumes to try out and noticed he kept his smiling eyes fixed on me while I was answering him. 

After getting the names, he went on to check them out and made his choice. I smiled on seeing that he picked one of my favourites, we chatted a bit more about perfumes and he seemed impressed to hear me talk with so much knowledge about men’s cologne too, I even gave him names of some brands to try out for himself as well.

After I picked all I wanted and got to the pay point, he asked for my number, I smiled and politely refused showing him my ring finger, he flashed his ring finger as well to show he was equally married and kept begging me but I still refused, the cashier attended to him first and after he paid for his things, he brought out some cash from his pocket, swiftly put it in my bag, then he briskly walked out without saying a word.

Stunned and at loss for what to do at that moment, I paid for my things using the POS and carried them to my car. It was when I got inside the car that I checked my bag, only to see that this man had left 50k in my bag along with his complimentary card.

As a married woman, I was pretty embarrassed and stunned by this man’s boldness. I kept pondering on the meeting till I got home. That night, I couldn’t find sleep, the day’s event kept playing in my head. I felt like telling my husband so we could talk and laugh about it together but something kept holding me from doing that. Then I realized I actually wanted to call this mystery man and probably be friends because of his nicety. I told myself it was nothing deep just being friends and talking once in a while wouldn’t hurt.

My Divorce Journey

I gave it a few days and called the guy to thank him for his unsolicited kindness, he was so elated to hear from me and we both enquired about each other’s family. After the pleasantries, the man asked if it was possible for us to meet again and I said no and told him I only called to thank him for his unsolicited kindness the other day. After much pleading, we arranged to have a lunch date at a central place not far from my business area. That as how my journey into adultery began.

Maxwell had a way with words and charm, first it was just us being friends and nice to each other, then our dates became frequent and he would sometimes text me in the middle of the night claiming not to find sleep because of me, telling me how much he desired to hold me in his arms and make me scream his name in ecstasy. These words found their way into my brain and shut out every sense of decency and godliness in me, I found myself craving another woman’s husband while sleeping next to my husband.

An opportunity finally presented itself for me to explore my lust when my husband went on a business trip to Ghana. I arranged with my new lover to meet at an exotic guest house and we had a magical time together even though I was filled with guilt afterwards. Haven tasted the forbidden fruit, it became an addiction as Maxwell knew how to please me better than my hubby. We did the unthinkable and our lust consumed us. Meeting with him to satisfy our shameful desire became more frequent even with my husband in town. I was smart enough to cover my tracks. Until nemesis caught up with me.

Hubby was with my phone one day and I later found out that a message came in which made him curious causing him to go through my chats and discover that I had been having an affair. I usually delete my messages and chats with Maxwell, but on that day, I was careless to have left my recent conversations on the phone and the chat contained an image of my lover’s eggplants which he sent to tease.

Godwin stormed into the kitchen and demanded to know how long the affair had been on. I was visibly shaken and had no explanations or defence as the chat was quite clear. I started begging him to forgive me, I felt so dirty and cried my eyes out but my husband asked that I leave his house, he couldn’t bear to look me in the face any more. It was then that I threatened to kill myself but he wouldn’t even listen. He said the only way he would consider forgiving me is if I look for the man’s wife and confess to her about my affair with her husband. He asked me to confess in our church as well.

How can I look another woman in the eye to tell her that I slept with her husband? How can I go in front of the congregation of people most of who hold me in high esteem and confess to them that I’ve been having an affair outside my marriage? I felt my world will rather end than for me to do it. My husband insisted that either I agree to his terms or leave his house.

I left knowing I couldn’t do any of these things. My husband filed for divorce 6 weeks after I packed out and hired a stay at home nanny for the kids. It’s been 6 months since I packed out, and think I should have done what he asked to save my marriage and be with my children. I felt Godwin just wanted to humiliate me with his demands, I don’t think he will forgive me even if I did what he asked.

I fear my lover’s wife would kill me or bathe me with acid if she finds out and I can’t bear being shamed by my church members as well.

My Comments

I have just one comment. Six months is still enough time to seek a reconciliation. The divorce has been sort but not finalised. I am not sure though if Daphne is repentant enough for Godwin to take her back though. What do you think?

Btw… we haven’t heard anything about Maxwell since the issue burst out. hmmmmm…..


  1. So you think after the divorce he won’t answer why you guys divorced the whole church will still know you cheated so give it a try and see if he will reconcile
    But note men may live with you but they never forgive cheating never ever

  2. I think she should pray over it first and then go meet the husband for reconciliation. If he still insist on confessing to the congregation then u have to do it. It is worth it cos it is your family we are talking about here.

  3. For me it is better both of you stay apart. The fire you set may take long years to end or may never end. Unfortunately, the way men and women are wired is different. Women can easily let go of infidelity but men no. Stay apart to avoid reactions from what has happened because even if he decides to take you back a very minor issue can get him angry that might lead to physical violence. It will be worse if your husband was faithful. Some domestic violence we hear of are products of hidden matters.

  4. I will share my experience… And I believe it’s a lesson for all. I dated my wife five years before marriage and abided by Christian values with her of no sexual contact let alone sexual intercourse. I was shocked to my bone to find out two months after wedding that my wife has had several sexual contacts with men during our courtship period. Guess what happened? The foundation of the marriage which is TRUST crashed and disrespect etc came in; I never enjoyed marriage since then. I barely managed to hang on! But other issues came up because I felt she was deceptive and to crown it all the character and disposition she showed during courtship ended two months into marriage. It was like I finally have what I want so the real me can come out, after all he’s a Christian and divorce is not allowed. Another way of saying I have trapped him. Marriage has been horrible for me and I have vowed that my life can’t continue like this because the issue has affected my health and I am planning towards the right time I will take the final exit. People say you have kids stay, but I tell them am someone’s child too and deserve a happy life free from masterful manipulation and deceptive environment. For me I can’t stay in an unhealthy environment threatening my health and if Christ comes I will still make heaven. Infidelity can lead to any forms of chaos. I advice you to stay away from him, if after many years or time as soon as he can handle and he has completely let it off…you people can from ground zero start building up again but it may never be the same again!


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