Hmmmm..

Somethings just dey tire person!

Somebody called me a short while ago and told me they were getting a divorce.

“I am tired,” this person said to me.

Hmm…

The rate of separation and divorce has risen so high that one is forced to wonder what is really going on. At the same time, we have people doing everything to get married some people cannot wait to get out of their marriages. And why is that so?

It would appear as if a lot of people, especially the ladies, have decided that a good marriage is something that comes gift-wrapped on the wedding day. Let me explain.

A woman gets married and she is disappointed after three months because her ‘hubby’ doesn’t cook for her or clear up after himself! (Oh, by the way, why do they call it Hubby?  Sounds like something you do in your spare time eh?)

A man gets married and behaves as if he left his sense in his mother’s house! And it continues with both parties taking each other for granted and refusing to make an effort to work the marriage.

Wake up guys!

Marriage is like any other venture in life; it requires faithful and consistent hard work. Your wife or your husband is as human as you are and if you expect to be happy with them, you need to put in the effort to make them happy too.

But the thing I find more puzzling is the obvious selfishness that seems to have become the order of the day. Marriage is a relationship of service, or at least, it ought to be. The way we are designed for marriage, we get the best enjoyment when we move outside of ourselves to please the other person, otherwise, we may as well be married to ourselves. No one partner in a marriage relationship should be a permanent “taker.” Marriage works best when both partners are each giving a hundred per cent. Fifty-fifty does not work well; it is fifty-fifty that is causing so much wahala!

The other issue that has me puzzled is this domestic violence that appears to be on the rise. Are the men beating the women more or is somebody lying? Don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a lot of abuse around but I’m just appalled at the level. It would appear that the men are taking out their frustrations on the women, and it is not funny at all! All the same, marriage seems to have become, easy come, easy go. People are getting divorced at the drop of a heart. It makes one wonder if the African pride in long successful marriages has been thrown out of the window.  It should not be so.

There are issues, no doubt, but rather than hit the highway at the first sign of trouble, couples should seek help. There are groups and individuals who have received training in marriage counseling, and a lot of couples have been helped and marriages saved. Don’t throw away a marriage before you have done everything possible to save it, except of course if there is a threat to life, in which case we advise you to run away first and seek help later.

But should separation and divorce be the first choice when there is trouble? I think not…

What do you think?

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