In 2013 someone (probably several someones) chose to add the term “Friend Zone” to the Oxford Dictionaries and defined it as:

A situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.

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But in reality, the “Friend Zone” is not a real thing.

Now, allow me to be clear. Unrequited crushes are a legitimate thing, and they happen to all of us.

But just as women a few years back were told to stop deluding themselves thinking, “Oh, he’s just really busy at work,” or, “He likes me too much and got scared,” and instead to accept that “He’s just not that into you,” so too must believers in the Friend Zone accept that it’s just not real.

The truth is, girls who hand you the standard “friend zone” lines are simply not attracted to you and want nothing to do with you.

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This doesn’t mean that you’re unattractive and no one wants you or ever will. You are attractive and you definitely will find someone who will be really into you… just not this person.

I want everyone to walk away from the situation with their dignity intact, but sometimes it feels like folks refuse to hear “no” unless it is presented as, “No. Never. Go away. I hate you. You suck. No! No! No!”

I think that is part of what happens in these alleged “Friend Zone” situations.

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A girl who does think of you as a friend (or at least a decent person) and doesn’t want to say to you, “No, I am in no way attracted to you,” instead says, “It’s just that I see you as more of a friend”… giving the situation some finality without having to make you feel shitty. But, she still doesn’t want you.

So… the best way to avoid this is if men could believe that “I’m not interested” was enough, if women weren’t told they have to offer an explanation as to why they aren’t interested, and then sit back and hope it will be good enough to stop the text barrage.

 

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