How keeping quiet after being sexually abused slowly killed me – TY Bello recounts

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Nigerian singer and photographer, TY Bello, has joined the “rape conversation” on social media, recounting how being silent after she was sexually abused killed her slowly.

TY who admitted that it was quite hard to talk about her sexual abuse after so many years, added that it was such a big relief after she did. She, however, stated that shortly after she went public with her story of being abused, she “faintly began tasting the shame again”.

Read her post below:

TY Bello recounts how being silent after she was sexually abused killed her slowly

I remember how the silence I had to keep after the abuse slowly killed me .. I also remember the relief I found in my relationship God so early. That really was my rescue ..yet for decades I could never find my voice on the matter .. I was still afraid ..Mostly because I felt it may have been the fault of my seven-year-old self .. somehow… Fast forward .. almost thirty years later ..I knew better .. and was ‘big’ enough .. I understood the importance of stepping up when it was time to share my story .. and ..I did in my @kemiadetiba ‘s #kingwomen interview .. it surprised me, however, how hard it was to talk about sexual abuse after so many years .. but it was such a relief ..But soon after came the resistance.

In sharing ..I faintly began tasting the shame again .. that same feeling of naked ‘dirtiness ‘’ I had as a child .. it hadn’t completely gone away. It also became clear .. that real stories of sexual abuse still sounded like NOVELTY… I saw headline after headline .. even in broken English .. this my ‘confession ‘.that ‘ Dem ‘SPOIL ‘ me when I be small pikin’.. It didn’t feel good that it was so ‘sensational’ as I was aware of how massive a plague this was ..WE CLEARLY ARE NOT TALKING ENOUGH ..too many children sexually abused .. too many sex crimes ..especially now .. right under our noses .

I had to push past the inner conflict that talking about it was ‘unnecessary’ … it was too long ago ..too ‘Oyinboish ‘to discuss publicly .. ‘. ‘Then of course ..that talking about it now would make it seem like my family failed me as a child .. but they didn’t .. and could never have known .. I had mastered SILENCE !they were victims too. Every abuse story is different but it is SHAME that makes them complicated… Sadly, the shame hardly lies with the perpetrators… So I’ve learnt that it’s time to nail shame right where it belongs ..Far away from the wronged .. Bringing them instead to healing, justice and freedom. We must teach every child the power of their voices, Apparently, we must teach adults too … and more importantly, we must learn to listen .. understand and know that Sex is not a dirty word .. but DENIAL is…

 

7 COMMENTS

  1. That is not rape … They re dating cos three times sex in different locations is not rape.. And that the pastor came to her home while the sister is upstairs and rape her is stupid talk… And u didn’t report to police nor talk to ur sister afterward is fake and after getting married to ur husband and now come up with it ..is the finish height of stupidity…

    • Kasara Julio my dear not only celebrities, a lot of women have been abused but ashamed to speak out. What do you say about those living in face me i face? A whole lot of shit is going on and nobody cares.

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