Before now, Saturdays were mainly for Owambe parties. You walked into different ‘fantasy land’ receptions on most Saturdays to eat yourself to stupor and party hard. You had a wardrobe occupied by the Aso-ebi’s you were lured into buying for almost twice the price. Not to mention your house filled with different sophisticated party souvenirs and an Instagram page decorated with different wedding pictures and couple hashtags.
However, since ‘Change’ hit Nigeria, you realized that things have changed around the Owambe industry which had previously brought you so much joy. You are now considering quitting Owambe for simple egusi-soup shopping trips on Saturdays.
Here are a few things you might have noticed around:
1. Nigerian weddings now cost twice as much as they used to.
Thanks to the steady molestation of the Naira by the dollar, the price of everything has skyrocketed… Including Nigerian-grown tomatoes and Cows reared in the North. Isn’t it shocking to discover how many things you never thought the dollar could affect since the inflation got worse? Aso ebi packages now go for prices equal to your nephew’s school fees. Your make-up artist has hiked her price and you are wondering if the makeup will be on your face forever, considering the cost. Not to mention the cost of having a wedding planner; Deejay, ushers or hostesses; small chops (without which the Nigerian party isn’t complete), your dream wedding dress, marquee reception venue e.t.c
Gone are the days of free buffet, Jollof rice is now served in moderation.
Even party souvenirs which were already progressing to Gold-plated iPhones, Air fryers and designer handbags have sharply gone back to mugs, Indomie and matches. You can’t even gatecrash weddings anymore because the strictly by invitation era is in full swing. Na wa o!
2. You want to spray the couple? EFCC is coming for you
There were times when you saw brides dancing like they were auditioning for ‘Britain’s got talent’ while grooms stepped like they were on the cast of a hip-hop dance movie. I know that like me, you refused to be fooled by the suggestion that it was entirely because they were happy to be spending the rest of their lives together. The better they danced, the more people sprayed them money; and the better their chances of recovering the money they spent entertaining you at a lavish reception.
However, since, the war against corruption started, I’ve noticed that people suddenly have started adhering to the Central Bank’s ‘No Spraying of the Naira policy’. BIG LIE!!! People are hiding seriously from EFCC.
These days if one sprays money lavishly at a party on Saturday, you are likely to hear that he has been invited for questioning at the EFFC office on Monday morning; He must have gotten a credit alert from Dasuki last year. Hian! Bad market!
Even Musicians and Comedians are complaining…
Because of the funny situation of things, this is what you now see at weddings…
On the flip side, Nigerians still love their owambe parties. Even if dollar becomes one million naira to one dollar or Pharoah becomes president, people will still get married every Saturday. There will still be aso ebi. Puff puff can still pretend to be small chops, Jollof rice will still feature and life will still go on.
At all at all na im bad pass!