How romance movies are ruining your expectations of love

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We often look to romantic movies to show us a glimpse of what it’s like to be in love and in a relationship.

Over the course of our lives, we are exposed to thousands of ideas and love stories about the various ways relationships should really go. It’s subtle, but over time, our expectations of what real and healthy relationships look like changed by what we see on the big and small screen.

Many ideas put across in romance movies are really screwed up, as you’re already aware. (Cinderella, anyone?)

But, movie love and romance falls short to the real thing.

Here are 4 reasons why romantic movies don’t show the reality of love in your relationship (so you should stop comparing).

See Also: Here’s why some people have difficulty finding intimacy in their relationships

1. You don’t always look physically perfect

Real people don’t usually have (as many) professionals to help with their hair, makeup, and attitude.

Unless their bad hair day is pivotal to the script somehow, actors don’t go through the movie looking like they have a beaver’s nest mounted on their head. They don’t often have bad moods, runny eyeliner, or unfortunate hairstyles.

As we’re all aware, unrealistic standards of what one should look like, be like and act like at all times are presented constantly in the media.

Even “reality” shows are carefully scripted and presented so the people look, talk, and act a certain way. Not really “reality” at all — just more entertainment — but presented to be what these people are really like at all times.

At least the movies don’t tell us “This is reality” and then dress people up to the nines and present unrealistic standards of beauty.

2. Real relationships have more acts

Real relationships don’t always involve perfect closure or perfect anything, for that matter. There is so much more mundane detail in real life because we have much more time to fill.

Real relationships can get really boring. Most of the time, there isn’t much drama in a good relationship. Drama in a real relationship often equals crappy times and tears. Aren’t crappy times and tears exactly what you’re trying to avoid?

See Also: The importance of touching and affection for a healthy relationship

3. Real people don’t have professional scripts

Have you ever blurted out something ridiculous and agonized over it for hours afterwards? You know what I mean here.

In real life, couples don’t get to press the delete key on their computer when their dialogue sucks. You don’t get to rewind when you say something insulting or that your partner didn’t understand.

4. Real people can’t call “Cut!” and repeat the scene when things go wrong

The more heated the situation, the more likely you are to lose control of what’s happening. Not so for the movie director who can simply start the whole scene over until it goes right.

You can’t undo things in real life and re-compose the scene. If you screw up, things stay that way until you fix them the real way.

 

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