Becoming a step parent can be scary and overbearing for either the woman or the man. The stepparent position is a strong one especially the stepmother as most are considered wicked. Stereotypes aside, it is necessary for you to bond with your step kids or you wouldn’t enjoy your marriage.

You need to get along with them, the relationship with them is critical for the happiness and security of a family.

See Also: Child Abuse… Part 2

  • DON’T FORCE YOURSELF ON THEM

Make a fast first impression. To take the pressure off the initial meeting, make it a quick hello and avoid long dinners or giving expensive gifts. That would make it look like you’re desperate or you want to buy their love and loyalty. Don’t push to be accepted, putting much pressure on the child may backfire and you wouldn’t like the feeling of being rejected. Allow it, give the child time to come around, let the child set the pace of the relationship; when he or she is ready for a closer relationship she’ll try and come around.

  • TREAT THEM LIKE YOU WILL YOUR OWN KIDS

Treat stepchildren like family. If you treat them like guests, they will not feel like part of the family, include them in the family by giving chores, asking them to share responsibilities, reviewing their homework and attending parent-teacher conferences. Listen to and respect their opinions and praise them when the occasion calls for it. Children feel better about themselves and closer to their families when they are taught to accept certain duties and obligations for the family as a whole.

See Also: Child Abuse… Part 1

3 – DEVELOP TRUST AND HONESTY

Trust is the spice of any relationship and it can take time to build as a child observes how you handle different situations. Do you listen actively? Do you keep private information private? Do you gossip about other people before them? Do you take an interest in what is important to your stepchild?children can sense dishonesty and insincerity. If you are able to earn their trust over time, you may become an important confidant.

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