I wish I had learnt to pray for one hour before I got married.

I have tried to stay clear of all the dust being raised because of the statement credited to the respected cleric in the past few days but it has been difficult. There I was at a wedding yesterday and the MC brought up the topic again. He insisted that a woman must know how to cook. It is considered the requirements for being a good wife. Well…

I don’t know whether or not I agree with him but I can certainly relate.

A few months ago I went to visit my daughter in boarding school and in the course of our visiting day gist, she started talking about food and she said, “Mummy thank God you are such a good cook, I can’t believe some of the food that some my mates sometimes share, and they proudly say it was cooked by their mothers.” I reminded her that every child believes their mother is a good cook but she insisted that some women are terrible cooks and wondered how their families would be feeling. My daughter is a persuasive debater and I didn’t want to prolong the debate so I wisely kept quiet. But it set me thinking deeply about a lot of things. For one, I was glad I had taught my daughter to cook from an early age, at least now I know her children will not be ashamed of her cooking in time to come.

You see, I was not a particularly great cook when I got married, I just knew enough to get by. My mother did her best to teach me but I was not too interested in domestic stuff back then, my novels were more important to me. Then somewhere between childhood and becoming a journalist, I pushed the kitchen out of my mind and focused on other things. I got the wakeup call a few weeks after I said “I do” It was easy to recall what I had been taught and to add my own innovations. Now I can create magic in the kitchen and everyone is happier for it.


But there is one skill set I truly wish I had paid more attention to before I got married. I wish I had learnt how to pray for one hour before I got married. I believe that the ability to pray well is a skill we often do not pay enough attention to. If people developed the skill of communicating with their Creator better they would have fewer issues in marriage. To begin with they would probably be more careful in choosing a life partner because they would be better guided (in my own case, I would still have married the same person).

A lot of marriages are hurting today because people are finding it difficult to draw the line between what is right and what is relevant. Social media is teaching people what they should know when actually there is a blueprint for marriage. So what would I have done differently if I could pray for one hour before I got married? For one thing, I would have had more inner peace knowing for sure that my home was God’s idea not mine, then I would have followed his blueprint more carefully. Then of course I would have worried much less than I did in my early years as a wife. A lot of the things we worry about are things we should rather pray about.

Prayer-ability helps to maintain a sense of calm. I should know, I’ve been both ways and I’d rather pray than worry. So regardless of which side of the argument you stand, let me say I believe the cleric had a valid point. And for whether a man should have a job before marriage… it goes without saying doesn’t it?


  1. Am not married yet.but I totally agree with you that a woman should know how to pray and cook….very very important….my mum was a very very good cook but not a prayerful mother which made a lot of things to go wrong. I learnt a lot with that experience…so to all ladies saying what d man of God said is wrong,i pity you big time.!

  2. Yes my dear, when you become lazy to pray in order to address some situations so many things go wrong in the house. But when you pray and study God’s word my Dear everything will go in place. And I strongly believe when you start praying it gets so used to you that you wouldn’t want to miss a day cos den u enjoy God’s fellowship and his sweet holy spirit. Its the best I can assure you on that.

  3. but is nt late,u can start nw and God will hear u.it is well with us.Thank God we’ve realised dat without prayer marriage cannot be successful.so pray like never before because we under pray and nt over pray.1thessalonials 5vs17,luke 18vs1 talks abut prayer

  4. To know how to pray for a long time is good but not compulsory…”a good prayer” is not measured by how long. God even promised to answer our thoughts.

    The example Jesus gave us I believe is not up to 10 minutes but it is heavily loaded

    Let’s learn to say sincere faith based prayers long or short and not compulsory empty 1hr or longer hrs prayers

  5. Many today has a lot of problem just because he/ she has let the necessary and stated unnecessary which has lead to broken home today. “Hour(s) of PRAY in your determines hour of peace in your life” a word is enough for a wise

  6. Prayer set our spirit and soul at peace in our daily lives. When you know how to set God as the foundation even in your friendship and all other things, He will surely guide and lead you to the greener pastures. My relationship in the ordinary sense will be a challenge to many but when you know the God that you pray to and believe in Him all things will settle in peace. In essence every woman should learn how to communicate with their maker and he will never disappoint you. God bless you all. Amen

  7. I am married now barely eight months ago I pray a lot but not for an hour perhaps 5 mins to me was great but I married a very prayerful husband who can pray for 3 hours without break and he prays on every new item in his house including a new broom bought from the market.wen I joined him in the practice I discovered every thing committed to God ahead of time have a good result up to d point of securing a new accommodation and we had no money but the landlord accepted keeping his 3bed room flat for us to pay up the Agreed 250k in 5 instalments. Pls if u are a believer I think u both need to pray as prayer moves mountains. Also in terms of cooking I am a product of a polygamous home as my mother is the 4th wife becos my father is a man who loved his stomach but in quest of a good cook ended up with four wives he was not born again anyway but the damages are enormous I can’t say here. Pls heed, the man of God is right.

  8. I’m glad that after all the dust that has been raised, after all the insults hurled at Pastor E. A Adeboye, the General Overseer of RCCG, the man God has used to bless this generation greatly, people are gradually speaking out regarding all he said & are also seeing the sense in it. If ever i thought this generation was disrespectful, i didn’t think it was to this extent. I almost gave up on the generation of today when i heard & read all the rude comments from people as young as Adeboye’s grandchildren & i pray God forgives us all.
    you see, we’re quick to run our mouths before applying our brains to certain issues we feel or think are “old school” or archaic but thank God they’ve been proved to be standing overtime irrespective of the technology that’s come up. We need not talk about what marriages have become these days cos of misplaced priorities.


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