I wish I had learnt to pray for one hour before I got married.
I have tried to stay clear of all the dust being raised because of the statement credited to the respected cleric in the past few days but it has been difficult. There I was at a wedding yesterday and the MC brought up the topic again. He insisted that a woman must know how to cook. It is considered the requirements for being a good wife. Well…
I don’t know whether or not I agree with him but I can certainly relate.
A few months ago I went to visit my daughter in boarding school and in the course of our visiting day gist, she started talking about food and she said, “Mummy thank God you are such a good cook, I can’t believe some of the food that some my mates sometimes share, and they proudly say it was cooked by their mothers.” I reminded her that every child believes their mother is a good cook but she insisted that some women are terrible cooks and wondered how their families would be feeling. My daughter is a persuasive debater and I didn’t want to prolong the debate so I wisely kept quiet. But it set me thinking deeply about a lot of things. For one, I was glad I had taught my daughter to cook from an early age, at least now I know her children will not be ashamed of her cooking in time to come.
You see, I was not a particularly great cook when I got married, I just knew enough to get by. My mother did her best to teach me but I was not too interested in domestic stuff back then, my novels were more important to me. Then somewhere between childhood and becoming a journalist, I pushed the kitchen out of my mind and focused on other things. I got the wakeup call a few weeks after I said “I do” It was easy to recall what I had been taught and to add my own innovations. Now I can create magic in the kitchen and everyone is happier for it.
But there is one skill set I truly wish I had paid more attention to before I got married. I wish I had learnt how to pray for one hour before I got married. I believe that the ability to pray well is a skill we often do not pay enough attention to. If people developed the skill of communicating with their Creator better they would have fewer issues in marriage. To begin with they would probably be more careful in choosing a life partner because they would be better guided (in my own case, I would still have married the same person).
A lot of marriages are hurting today because people are finding it difficult to draw the line between what is right and what is relevant. Social media is teaching people what they should know when actually there is a blueprint for marriage. So what would I have done differently if I could pray for one hour before I got married? For one thing, I would have had more inner peace knowing for sure that my home was God’s idea not mine, then I would have followed his blueprint more carefully. Then of course I would have worried much less than I did in my early years as a wife. A lot of the things we worry about are things we should rather pray about.
Prayer-ability helps to maintain a sense of calm. I should know, I’ve been both ways and I’d rather pray than worry. So regardless of which side of the argument you stand, let me say I believe the cleric had a valid point. And for whether a man should have a job before marriage… it goes without saying doesn’t it?