All relationships need a little pick-me-up sometimes, even the best ones. To that end, we’ve compiled a list simple ways to reconnect with your significant other right this moment. These actions will make your partner feel loved, appreciated and desired, and will make you feel more connected to him/her.
We’re sure you’ll find something useful in the list below.
- Lie down on the bed…
And spend two minutes looking into each other’s eyes without saying anything.
- Next time you’re in bed, pull the covers over your head and have a whispered conversation.
If you whisper first he’ll probably whisper back. It’s incredibly intimate.
- Listen to each other.
Think you already do that? Try active listening.
4. Pray together.
If you’re comfortable talking about it, discuss what you pray about.
- Do the nostalgic memory exercise.
Pick a shared memory from “the honeymoon period” of your relationship. Discuss the memory and take turns talking about sensory memories (sights, sounds, smells), what you were thinking, and what you were feeling.
- Set time aside every day for mutual silence.
- Give each other pet names.
- Say something positive — anything at all.
Researchers have found that happy couples have a ratio of five positive comments to each negative comment.
- Ask him what he was like when he was a little kid.
- Tell him he looks sexy in that shirt.
- Compliment something that he’s improved upon.
- Tell him he makes you a better person.
And then tell him how.
- If you’re feeling anxious about something, ask your partner to be your stress absorber.
Ask him to listen as you explain what you’re worried about. The catch is that he doesn’t have to say anything — no reassurances or offers of assistance.
- Accept her apology.
- Apologize for something you never apologized for.
Even though you knew it was your fault.
- Tell her a sexual fantasy you’ve always felt embarrassed about.
- Make a special treat.
- Cook a meal together.
Divide up the tasks so you can both be in the kitchen working at the same time.
- Make breakfast for him.
- Pack her a lunch to take to work.
- Use a toothpick to write “I love you” on the outside of an unpeeled banana.
USE FAMILY AND FRIENDS
- Next time a member of her family calls and you answer the phone, stay on the line a chat a minute before handing off the phone.
- Invite his best friend to dinner and stay for a drink.
- Take out his yearbook.
Ask about the people in it and what they meant to him.
- Read a book to your child together, switching off pages.
- Bring him a glass of wine (or water) when he’s helping your child with her homework.
- When you hear the baby crying in the middle of the night, be the first one to get up.
- Write her mom a note, and praise her on how well she raised her daughter.
- Do her chores.
- Cover him with a blanket.
- Next time you wake up before him…
Turn off the alarm clock and rouse him by kissing his forehead.
- Repair something of hers that she hasn’t gotten around to fixing.
Like an old watch battery or a broken bracelet clasp.
- Pick up her dry cleaning.
- Next time you know she hasn’t gotten enough sleep and she’s going to work tired, tell her she looks great.
Whatever you do, don’t tell her she looks tired.
- Leave an open bottle of wine and an empty glass in the kitchen for your spouse after a long, hard day.
- Keep gifts for him hidden in the house so you’ll have a surprise for him if he’s had a bad day.
- Buy a pack of his brand of clean underwear.
Next time he needs to do laundry but doesn’t have time, give it to him.
- Start planning her next gift right now.
- Scrawl a heart and your initials in the steam on the bathroom mirror.
He’ll see it if he comes in right away, or next time the mirror fogs up.
- Write love notes and put them places you know your partner will find them.
- Ask him to send a baby picture of himself and make it your computer wallpaper.
- Change the background of her phone to a picture of the two of you.
- Send him a link to a song on YouTube that makes you think of him.
- Email her an old photo of the two of you on vacation or your wedding day.
- In the middle of the day, send a text message that says “Thinking of you.”
- Use your body to show him you’re paying attention and listening when he talks to you.
- Wrap your arms around his middle and squeeze as hard as you can.
- Sneak up behind him for a quick shoulder massage.
SWITCH IT UP
- Clean the house together. Naked.
- Instead of watching TV, read a story out loud to each other.
- Have a “no-technology” day or hour or evening.
- When he’s tired from a long day of work, offer to watch a movie he loves but one that you wouldn’t normally watch with him.
- Don’t react when he says something annoying.
- Next time you’re going somewhere in the neighbourhood together, walk instead of driving.
- Put on music you both like and dance in your living room.
- Play a card game.
- Take some grapes and try to throw them in each other’s mouths.
- Teach him a card game he’s never played.
- Exercise together.
- Make up a game and play it together with your kids.