Ladies: Your smart guide to being sexy without thinking you need to have sex

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Many men are attracted to feminine women who are comfortable with their sexuality and know how to express it authentically.

This doesn’t mean that you need to be overtly sexual or have sex on the first date, but it does mean it’s smart to steer the conversation into sexy territory at least every now and then when you’re first dating a new guy.

Unfortunately, many women don’t know how to flirt with a guy by embracing (and retaining control over) their sexual power, let alone feel truly comfortable with the idea of learning how to be sexy.

You might be afraid that if you open that door too early, it could lead you to have sex with him too soon and sabotage any potential for a serious relationship.

But if you keep holding yourself back, there’s a good chance that nothing will happen at all — no spark, no chemistry … nothing!

A lot of women want to sit back and leave everything up to the man, but I can assure you that smart, sexy, confident women aren’t afraid to create a spark or fan the flame.

At some point, you need to allow yourself to take a risk or you’ll only feel increasingly hopeless after every date.

I get that it’s hard to know how to be sexy without it worrying it will lead to having sex before you’re absolutely ready.

Over time, I discovered many ways to do so, and here are my 4 best tips and pieces of dating advice on how to flirt with a guy and be sexy — without feeling pressure to have sex.

1. Let him know you’re listening

Try giving your date a sexy look now and then when he says something flirty, touch his arm to make a point, or intentionally lean in closer to hear what he’s saying.

Don’t just make eye contact; stare deeply into his eyes and smile while he’s telling a story.

2. Use little gestures to go a long way

Instead of sitting across from him at the table, sit next to him. If you’re afraid to touch him, put your hand lightly on his arm and say, “I love your shirt.” Or, if you’re feeling bold, brush your hand against his knee and say you love his pants.

Another simple way to flirt is to address your date by his name.

And remember, just because you know how to tease, that doesn’t mean you are a tease. With practice, you will simply feel lighter and more attractive with every date.

3. Set boundaries — playfully

One of the biggest mistakes many women make is getting uncomfortable when a man makes sexual innuendos. If you shut a man down when he tries to take the conversation into intimate, flirty territory, it could stop the momentum cold.

I know it can feel uncomfortable to have a man express his sexual interest, so practice setting boundaries in a playful way. This won’t only him want you, but he’ll grow curious about getting to know you, which means he’ll want to spend more time with you. And for more than just sex!

If things start to heat up, find a playful way to let your date know you are not going home with him.

If he suggests you come back to his apartment, you might say with a sexy smile, “I am really flattered, but you are going to have to work a lot harder than that to get me to go home with you.”

4. Don’t be scared if sex comes up in conversation

If it does, you can make a joke and say something like, “Paying for my drink will get you far, but diamonds will get you farther.”

A woman who knows what she wants isn’t afraid to be playful, have a fun conversation and flirt.

And just FYI, men love this kind of sexy banter.

As women, we sometimes think that just because we wear something sexy, a man will know we’re interested.

This isn’t true. Many men — especially those who aren’t players — need feedback and encouragement from women before they’ll be willing to make a move. And rightfully so.

You could be the hottest woman in the world, but if you’re afraid to be openly playful with your dates, you might never start the fire you’re burning for.

 

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