Hello Ross, I sent my divorce story months ago and I went through the comments and had to ponder on them. I must thank you for the counsel given. Thankfully, I am here to say that we have worked through it and we are back together as a family. I was in therapy when I wrote in and was actually on my way to reconciliation.
After our son died, I felt something snap inside me. I was very angry and blamed my wife so much for everything. At that time, I didn’t realize how selfish I was and how hurt she may have been. Being divorced for two years helped me have a rethink. I eventually had to see a therapist.
Yes, I still loved Bimpe but I wasn’t just in the right frame of mind. At that point, I just didn’t know how to handle the tragedy of losing our only son. Seeing her just kept reminding me of her actions. It became difficult living together in the same house. The period we spent apart as a divorced couple made me think deeply about everything. I’m extremely glad I sought help. My family also urged me to pray more and renew my relationship with God which I did. This journey has been a tough one.
The Pain Of Divorce
On the other hand, Bimpe was so devastated that she actually attempted suicide twice. I got to know this when we reconciled. The divorce and the events around it took a heavy toll on her. Sadly, she became a shadow of her former self. Eventually, she had to take an indefinite leave from her job to seek counsel as well. She actually left the country for a while and considered taking up permanent residency in another country.
We should have been together, working through it but I messed up. The period I spent in therapy helped me see where I went wrong. I realized that the divorce was totally unnecessary. When I realized my errors I hurried to fix it.
Anxiously, I hoped I wasn’t late in trying to make amends with Bimpe. I informed my family that I was ready to reconcile with my ex-wife. My folks were surprised and skeptical but felt a trial wasn’t going to be such a bad idea. They began the work for me by reaching out to her family and having a series of meetings.
Reconciliation After Divorce
I personally tried to reach Bimpe but she didn’t want anything to do with me. Then I wrote her a very long letter full of apologies and remorse. I guess her people must have spoken to her and told her I had changed.
We began by praying together for some weeks and going on dates and importantly, talking. I told her she could tell me anything and insult me if she wanted. It brought healing to us and we remarried after a few months quietly.
I’m glad to say we are closer than before and more in love than we have ever been. We are considering adopting a child even as we try for a biological one. We are putting each other first and willing to make this second chance worth it.
What did I learn from the divorce and the saga leading to it? I learned that patience is essential to marriage. I also learned the power of seeking counsel. If I hadn’t gone for therapy, I am pretty sure the marriage would have remained dead. Through my church, I found a Christian therapist who helped me heal
Thank you, Titus.
Thanks so very much Titus for sharing this beautiful story. It shows that Not all divorce is final. There is still an opportunity and a place for reconciliation. Sometimes, divorce allows the couple to look at the matter with fresh eyes.
Also, I always advise that couples should seek individual counseling after divorce even if they never intended to come back together. Divorce is very traumatic and counseling helps in healing the pains of trauma.
You can read other divorce stories here. I am open for counseling also. You can reach me via firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also send your stories if you have one via my email