Welcome to another edition of my divorce story. How much should the woman’s sexual satisfaction count in a marriage? The traditional idea is that a woman who enjoys sex or who has a strong sexual drive in marriage has a problem and is either a prostitute or a slut. Men get surprised during counselling when the woman raises sexual satisfaction as a topic. A lot of times, their manhood pride is hurt when the woman lets them know that they have been bad in bed.
Sex is one of the tools for strengthening a marriage. Good sex is necessary in marriage both for sexual enjoyment and bonding. My experience from counselling shows that a large percentage of men don’t know how to satisfy their wife’s in bed. A lot of women don’t get sexual satisfaction and the majority seek to keep quiet about it.
The challenge we have in this society is the shortage of sexual counsellors and the treatment of such subjects as taboos, yet we are told that as much as 1/4 of children don’t belong to the husbands.
In the divorce story we are dealing with today, it is obvious that Ebuka had some form of sexual dysfunction. He was aware of it and tried bullying his wife into believing that sex was for only procreation. As such, he wasn’t having regular sex with her. On the other hand, he was seeing other women and she became aware of it.
Based on his ex-wife’s description, it is obvious that Ebuka had a penis size he wasn’t too happy with. This further caused him anxieties leading to his inabilities to last longer than what she termed 30 seconds during sex. The challenge in sex is that bad performance leads to further bad performance.
This, however, is a matter that could have been dealt with easily. The fact that Ebuka could father a child means that he could also satisfy his wife if he chose to. I believe it is his insecurities that made him look outside, ignoring his wife. In hindsight, he should have spoken to his wife about his insecurities earlier on and worked with her to get professional help to resolve whatever the matter was. I believe he was quite ashamed and tried to use manly bravado to bully his way through only to lose his wife and have his marriage end in divorce. Men, get help. Work with your wives to resolve these issues. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. The problem could come from stress, drink or a lifestyle habit. Your wife is your life partner. Involving her rather than try to bully your way is an easier and more effective way of resolving key issues.
I look forward to your thoughts and comments. If you have any questions, need counselling or would like to share your story, you can reach me via my email firstname.lastname@example.org. Please take time and read our older stories, get to be a part of our WhatsApp and mailing list so that you can get insight into new articles when we release them. Also, try take time and read some of our exciting articles on Davina Diaries.
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My Divorce Story 35, Blessing: I Was Sex Starved For Six Years
Ok, so here is the story of how I ended my 6yrs old marriage. My name is Blessing and I don’t regret dumping his sorry ass
I thought I was doing the right thing when I agreed to marry Ebuka.
The first few years of my marriage was hell. My husband would have sex with me only when he wants us to have another child and that would be it till the baby is probably 1year old.
At first, I thought it was a joke until it became a trend. So it meant we don’t have sex for almost 2years and we live in the same house.
My husband had assorted side chicks and I wonder how he managed to have sex with them because his balls are longer than his penis (even when erect) and he was a 30seconds man which was very frustrating. Yet, he still had the guts to starve me with the frustration.
Whenever I complained about our sex life, he will tell me that I am his wife and sex between us is for procreation only. Hmmm
Believe me, I kept my cool and planned to divorce him after I had enough cash. I also decided I wasn’t gonna have kids anymore, so I started working on my body. I got to a point that my waist was a 38 and hips 48. I attained the coke bottle shape every woman wanted and every man would lust after.
Then, the strangest thing happened all of a sudden. My cheating and cold husband became nice to me and was trying to do all of those things he didn’t think mattered before.
I noticed all the side chicks were nowhere to be found around him as well. We got talking one day and he told me that he had problems with his erection and was currently undergoing treatment. That meant he couldn’t use his 30seconds manhood again. What a shame I thought. So now that he couldn’t perform again, I have become valid?
Now that I have an awesome body, I shouldn’t be pleased by a man? Because my ‘horseband’ has expended his……. Oh well
So then I had to make a choice: If I decided to leave him, I knew the world will come for me and call me all sorts of names befitting a bad woman. If I decided to stay, I will probably have to stay without sex ever again with a man who placed me on once per year routine when he could perform, No way! I thought.
The worst part is that he also had sugar in his blood and it will be stupid for me to be concerned about his erection at that point. Plus I was fucking horny and angry every last day I spent with him.
For the six years, we were married, I could count how many times we had sex. Nonsense.
I just had to gather the mind to pay him back in his own coin. I am still too young to remain celibate against my wish for the rest of my life.