Today’s Divorce story is quite interesting. I remember at a counseling session where the woman said a big problem they were having was sex. The husband wasn’t satisfying her sexually and it was a big problem for her. Usually, one would think it would be the man that would complain of not having enough.

As modern women have become more vocal due to several reasons, one area of controversy is that of the female sexuality and sexual appetite. In the older days, a woman with a healthy sexual appetite was considered a whore or a prostitute. Women were supposed to just lie down and receive it.

These days though, women are increasingly coming out of the closet and demanding that their spouses be better sexual partners. Performance in bed by the other spouse is rated as one of the high causes of marital dissatisfaction these days. Is that enough to merit a divorce, well, our contributor seems to think so.

We have a new series on sex in marriage coming out soon to help address some of these issues. It is to help the man and woman be better sex partners to each other. Anyways, I am guessing that this particular Divorce story would be a bit controversial and might be one of our best read in a while.

Please take time to let me know your comments and thoughts. You can read older divorce stories here and other great Davina Diaries articles here as well. You can reach me at if you have a story to share or some advice.
Warm regards

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My Divorce Story 38, Ojochide: It Was Either A Divorce or I Cheat

Hello, Davina diaries, my name is Ojochide, I have been reading your blog for the past six months and I find the divorce stories quite interesting. I’m divorced as well and I would love to share my story.

I have come to know that some little factors that seem like a little deal could ruin a marriage. I always assumed that in marriage, it’s the men that complain about lack of sex, but in my case, it was the other way round.

I met my husband when I was visiting a friend. Osas was a cool guy, quite handsome but on the gentle side. I was on the other hand outgoing and what you would call a drama queen. He was a friend to her neighbor and that day we all hung out.

He was easy to converse with. We stayed casual friends for a while until I got a job close to where he lived. This made us get closer and most times after work I would go to his house to watch a movie or just chill.

I had been sexually active in the past. I enjoyed every bit of it. Maybe I just dated guys who were good at it. My expectations from my husband when it came to sex was high even before marriage. After a few months of being friends, Osas decided we should take it further and become lovers.

I didn’t mind because he seemed to have all I needed in a man. We dated for three months and in these three months, we only had sex thrice. I attributed it to tiredness from work. I had a dildo which I used occasionally. My major concern was to have children.

He proposed after the third month of dating and we got married a few months later. The problem of sex became very glaring after our first child was born. He never initiated sex and when I did, he would grumble. Even before I pregnancy, he got tired after only one round.

I tried to manage it and then I discovered I was pregnant. I even thought my libido would drop after the birth of my child, rather, it went higher. Even a round of sex was like foreplay to me. I knew I would soon be tempted to cheat so I tried to get help.

I discussed with my hubby about getting an aphrodisiac to help. He turned down the idea. He felt he was doing well in bed. Foreplay was almost nonexistent. Soon enough I got really cranky. I turned to my dildo because I didn’t want to cheat.

One day he walked in on me helping myself with the dildo. He got mad and called me possessed. He said I was in need of deliverance. We had a bitter row and in anger, I moved my things out of our room. He reported me to my family who tried to resolve the issue but it got more frustrating.

I began to wonder if he was doing it deliberately. He was starving me of sex. It made me go out at night to drink myself to stupor. I came home to sleep and take my mind off sex. On one occasion I met a guy who almost had sex with me. This was when I decided to end the marriage. It was affecting our communication and I was always angry and depressed.

I walked away and we got a divorce. We share custody of our child. I have since remarried a man whose drive was as good as mine. We are happy and have two children together. My ex has also remarried; hopefully, she is not like me.

My reason for divorce may look lame, but it’s better than cheating.


  1. Sounds very much like my situation. I haven’t left my marriage and I’m still learning to use a dildo, sometimes we don’t make love in 2months. When we eventually do, it lasts for 5mins, no foreplay for me, so I have to use a lubricant to avoid bruises.

  2. I can totally relate with you cos I was once in your shoes, mine totally abandoned me with pregnancy, parked out from where we stayed, got another apartment and moved in with his “Jewel”. The pain I felt was out of this world. He refused to give money to buy baby things and completely abandoned us but you know what I did? I pulled myself together, worked harder, concentrated on being financially independent. Today things are gradually taking shape for me, my son is a year and 2 months now and God keeps supplying our needs. I’m sending lots of love and hugs your way, plz if you can move out kindly do so cos it’s killing you slowly, concentrate on being financially independent dear.. God will see you through.

  3. You are lucky to have met someone who shares your drive. Many women have had to endure and I am not sure they didn’t get high Bp as a result. God be with you.

  4. This is why you people should stay virgins prior to marriage. When you are fucking around like rabbits and you feel your husbands are staving you even when he tried his best, is still not enough because he could not do what you are used to. Now the blame is on him. All you women do is to run from the consequences of your promiscuous lifestyles and cry foul. After you have dated different men who used drugs, cocaine, tramadol, and weeds, now you are married to the man who drinks Pepsi orobo, I think that is your problem. You reap what you sow period. Only a man foolish will kill himself for the promiscuous women of this generation. And also listen to the bullshit they have to say about don’t judge me by my pass nonsense. Marrying a woman who has been around the block is suicidal! His house maybe a camp of bastards. Trust me on my word.

    • Then you men should learn to be faithful and stick to one woman. Stop promising as marriage and damp us after sleeping with us. If a man is not good he is not good and need to work on it. Am sure you are a one minute man if not you won’t attack her this way.

      • I don’t think you should have sex with a man based on the promise of marriage. Sounds like a naive and lame excuse. You can either decide to sleep with a guy or not and from what I know, most of you make the decision consciously but not because of the promise of marriage. That said, there are no human prototypes. Everyone of us is different in more ways than we can imagine. Remaining a virgin until marriage does not guarantee a blissful and fulfilled sexual life. Sometimes the dragon within is awakened after the first contact after marriage and if the couple are opposites in their tolerance and ability, where does it head? We should know people are different and should be willing to accommodate the differences and be willing to work towards achieving that elusive bliss and happiness which we think are automatic givens once we enter marriage.
        Enough said!!

  5. Then you men should learn to be faithful and stick to one woman. Stop promising as marriage and damp us after sleeping with us. If a man is not good he is not good and need to work on it. Am sure you are a one minute man if not you won’t attack her this way.


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