Today’s Divorce story is quite interesting. I remember at a counseling session where the woman said a big problem they were having was sex. The husband wasn’t satisfying her sexually and it was a big problem for her. Usually, one would think it would be the man that would complain of not having enough.
As modern women have become more vocal due to several reasons, one area of controversy is that of the female sexuality and sexual appetite. In the older days, a woman with a healthy sexual appetite was considered a whore or a prostitute. Women were supposed to just lie down and receive it.
These days though, women are increasingly coming out of the closet and demanding that their spouses be better sexual partners. Performance in bed by the other spouse is rated as one of the high causes of marital dissatisfaction these days. Is that enough to merit a divorce, well, our contributor seems to think so.
We have a new series on sex in marriage coming out soon to help address some of these issues. It is to help the man and woman be better sex partners to each other. Anyways, I am guessing that this particular Divorce story would be a bit controversial and might be one of our best read in a while.
Please take time to let me know your comments and thoughts. You can read older divorce stories here and other great Davina Diaries articles here as well. You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have a story to share or some advice.
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My Divorce Story 38, Ojochide: It Was Either A Divorce or I Cheat
Hello, Davina diaries, my name is Ojochide, I have been reading your blog for the past six months and I find the divorce stories quite interesting. I’m divorced as well and I would love to share my story.
I have come to know that some little factors that seem like a little deal could ruin a marriage. I always assumed that in marriage, it’s the men that complain about lack of sex, but in my case, it was the other way round.
I met my husband when I was visiting a friend. Osas was a cool guy, quite handsome but on the gentle side. I was on the other hand outgoing and what you would call a drama queen. He was a friend to her neighbor and that day we all hung out.
He was easy to converse with. We stayed casual friends for a while until I got a job close to where he lived. This made us get closer and most times after work I would go to his house to watch a movie or just chill.
I had been sexually active in the past. I enjoyed every bit of it. Maybe I just dated guys who were good at it. My expectations from my husband when it came to sex was high even before marriage. After a few months of being friends, Osas decided we should take it further and become lovers.
I didn’t mind because he seemed to have all I needed in a man. We dated for three months and in these three months, we only had sex thrice. I attributed it to tiredness from work. I had a dildo which I used occasionally. My major concern was to have children.
He proposed after the third month of dating and we got married a few months later. The problem of sex became very glaring after our first child was born. He never initiated sex and when I did, he would grumble. Even before I pregnancy, he got tired after only one round.
I tried to manage it and then I discovered I was pregnant. I even thought my libido would drop after the birth of my child, rather, it went higher. Even a round of sex was like foreplay to me. I knew I would soon be tempted to cheat so I tried to get help.
I discussed with my hubby about getting an aphrodisiac to help. He turned down the idea. He felt he was doing well in bed. Foreplay was almost nonexistent. Soon enough I got really cranky. I turned to my dildo because I didn’t want to cheat.
One day he walked in on me helping myself with the dildo. He got mad and called me possessed. He said I was in need of deliverance. We had a bitter row and in anger, I moved my things out of our room. He reported me to my family who tried to resolve the issue but it got more frustrating.
I began to wonder if he was doing it deliberately. He was starving me of sex. It made me go out at night to drink myself to stupor. I came home to sleep and take my mind off sex. On one occasion I met a guy who almost had sex with me. This was when I decided to end the marriage. It was affecting our communication and I was always angry and depressed.
I walked away and we got a divorce. We share custody of our child. I have since remarried a man whose drive was as good as mine. We are happy and have two children together. My ex has also remarried; hopefully, she is not like me.
My reason for divorce may look lame, but it’s better than cheating.