Have you ever imagined something more like a fairy tale- almost unlikely to happen yet, it did happen making you feel the very thought of it brought it into existence? Yes, that was what happened to me the day Iyke proposed marriage to me in the full glare of a crowd.

There I was, in my hostel room few days to my project defence which was my last obligation to the university before I could graduate. I just couldn’t wait to leave school, after all, said and done. I was in the class of those you would call average students, I didn’t really care much for schooling except that I needed a certificate to prove I saw the inside of the four walls of a university.

I had always dreamt of a wealthy prince charming coming to sweep me off my feet in love, marry me and make me a rich businesswoman. Yes, buying and selling was one of the few things I enjoyed doing and because my friends say I do have eyes for good and quality stuff, it was much easy for me to sell them namely, clothes, jewellery and anything I know female students love to buy.

What I enjoyed most were the times I spent hanging out with friends back in school. See, I am a typical club girl, party animal and I love nightlife like crazy. More so, I have both the right stature and looks for an attractive young lady, you could call me a slay queen though the term slay queen wasn’t in vogue back in the days.

Anyways, I slew my way into my husband’s heart during one of those nights when I was out clubbing with my girls. I moved with the rich and spoilt brats in school who also didn’t share the same zeal for education like me and together we were the socialites on campus with our fancy clothes, posh English, travelling and fun experiences plus the calibre of men we roll with (we don’t date students like us).

Funny thing was, I am not from a wealthy background. My parents were both civil servants, toiling to make sure I and my siblings got a fair chance in life. My mum is a strong believer, to me, an overzealous Christian. She would complain about my dress sense, my flighty or I don’t care attitude. If only she knew I was more than that back in school. You see, I made sure I bottled up some of my wild inclinations at home trying as much to comport myself but the moment I got back in school, I was something else.

Back to how I met Iyke; That night at a club during the first semester of my penultimate year, I was a bit out of breathe as I had danced for quite some time and was sweating all over, so I went out to catch some fresh air and to cool off a bit before going back in. I noticed someone had come to join me where I was

“Hello beautiful,” he said in a deep baritone voice, I could have mistaken him for a bouncer with his well-built body and biceps.
“Feels hot inside right?” he added
“you can say that again” I replied not really interested in having a conversation.
He smiled, “forgive my manners, I am Iyke,” he said stretching his hand in a handshake, “what’s your beautiful name?”
“Elohor” I replied, taking his warm handshake.

And the rest, as they say, is history. Iyke barely left my side all night, you would think we came to the club together in the first place. He was actually surprised to know I came in company of my female friends, he jokingly said he had thought I’d have a boyfriend lurking around the corner and ready to pounce on him for coming close to me.

Soon, the clubbers began to thin out and it was time for me and my friends to leave. Iyke offered to take me to my hostel but I declined as I’d rather take a ride back in my friend’s car. Anyways, we exchanged phone numbers and Iyke called me most of the journey back to the hostel in order to ensure we were safe and back in the hostel.

And so my relationship with Iyke began, we partied together, went on several dates getting to know each other, we grew so fond of each other and he does know how to fund a woman’s need. Iyke is an onshore worker with a big oil and gas company so he spent more time ashore than on land but always made sure he spent most times with me whenever he was around.

Iyke knew about my love for clubbing and leisure living. It wasn’t a problem to him, he loved my feisty-playful nature. In all of those times, never did I for once think my fairytale proposal would become a reality through Iyke.

There I was that cool evening thinking what my life after school would be like when my roommate a level below mine ran in and was tugging at my clothes for me to come see something. I was a partly curious and partly disinterested in whatever she wanted to show me until she mentioned Iyke was outside the hostel gate.

The fact that she couldn’t contain her excitement made my mind race. What could it be? I thought quickly getting down from my bed and slipping my feet into the available slippers I found. As I hurriedly walked behind her, I couldn’t help noticing the many eyes staring at me, the whispers and fingers pointing towards me.

In my hostel news travels like the speed of light, after all, we had more Mass communication students in my hostel. Wondering what the news was, I got outside my hostel gate and met the most pleasant surprise of my life. There he was, my prince charming, holding a bunch of flowers leaning against a car, a metallic red BMW 428i convertible as I moved closer thinking Iyke must have gotten himself a new ride, he drew closer swung his and said, “for you my lady” at first I thought he meant the flower and then I realized he had swung his hand towards the car.

First, I was stunned, then I tried saying something but all that came out was an ecstatic shriek of joy. I flung myself at him, tears began to run down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe I was a car owner. As I began to run my hands over the smooth metallic surface of the car in admiration, I heard a whooo! Sound from the crowd around, I turned to face my lover and there he was on one knee holding a case with a breathtaking ring in it.

He kept his eyes fixed on me as he said: “Elohor, you complete me in the most amazing way, please be mine forever……”. I couldn’t wait for him to finish, I fell to my knees and screamed yes! I will marry you still in tears. You would think this was a scene from a telenovela as the crowd that gathered cheered and clapped. My friends were also screaming in happiness for me but I bet they were mostly green with envy too (who wouldn’t?).

Barely a month after graduation, Iyke and his family came to mine to do the necessary rites as custom demands and a day was fixed for our traditional wedding. Iyke is from Bayelsa while I’m from Delta, Ughelli to be precise. We had a fairytale wedding, of course, my friends jokingly referred to me as a lucky bitch and some even begged me to tell them what charm I used in catching such a big fish like Iyke.

In all fairness, Iyke was a good husband, doting and caring in many ways, the first few months of Marriage were blissful but the time came when he had to go ashore for work and I won’t set eyes on my husband for weeks and months. I began to get dissatisfied with life as a married woman, even the business he established for me didn’t give me the fulfilment or distraction that I thought I would get. The worst Part was when he did come home, he would spend more time with his friends hanging out and partying with them.

When I became pregnant with our child, I bore the stress of pregnancy mostly alone and Iyke because of work wasn’t there to help me through the antenatal period, I gave birth to our baby when he was ashore and then paranoia began to set in. What if I was going to end up as a grumpy deserted housewife while Iyke goes about seeing and enjoying the best of life like he has always done before we got married? He could even be in the arms of another woman while claiming he’s at work for all I know…. While I’m here wasting away my youth, all for the sake of marriage.

Click to read: My Divorce Story 4: Lillian, Look Before You Leap

Clubbing sabotaged my marriage

So, I lapsed into boredom and loneliness and before you knew it, I was seeking ways to spice up my life, old ways. I started to keep in touch with old pals more and realized they were enjoying their single states unlike me who was dissatisfied with my Marriage. Once more, I became a party animal, Delta socialite and club goer.

The moment I weaned my child off breastfeeding there was nothing else to stop me from having fun. Thankfully, I snapped back into my figure and still had my hot looks, you wouldn’t be able to tell I had given birth. As for my child, I took him to the crèche even though he was still too young and the days when the crèche wasn’t available, I took him to my mum’s house which wasn’t too far off from the part of town my husband and I lived.

Whenever my husband came home for his short stay, I would stay indoors like the perfect little housewife he thought I was and perform my Marriage duty. Once he’s off, I was back to my old feisty self.

As the saying goes, ‘Every day for the thief, one day for the owner’ the day of reckoning came just before my child clocked a year and my cover blew, I went clubbing that fateful day and as usual, I took my baby to my parents’ house and told my mother I was going for a vigil that night and I wouldn’t want my baby to disturb me so it was best if he stayed overnight with her. I will come for him on my way back from the vigil I told her.

After leaving my baby with my mother, I got into my car and changed into my club getup and off I went to the club. That day at the club I had mad fun, commanding looks and attention as I always do (everyman wanted a piece of my ass) Unknown to me, one of my husband’s numerous friends saw me at the club and thought that my husband was at the club too but wondered why I was dancing in the arms of another man. So the idiot whipped out his phone and dialled my husband who was on shore working at the time.

I later got to find out he called my husband and in a jocular manner accused my husband of not keeping in touch nor letting him know he was in town as my husband would have done at other times. My husband who knew his friend to be a joker asked why the friend thought he was in town and his friend replied: “I dey see your madam for the club wey I dey nah, abi nor be she wear black playsuit come?” Then he took a shot of me while I was still unaware, sent it to my husband to confirm I was really the one he saw and that was how my husband got a picture of me in the arms of another man wearing the playsuit he got me.

“so you and your wife still dey game like this, see as she dey rock another man, how you take dey cope sef” the friend continued taunting my husband unintentionally “Anyways, make I nor spoil una fun, let me know if you want to hang out sometime before you ship yourself back to work” and with that he hung up on my husband.

Widowhood Chronicles Uchenna: Agonies of a widow

Barely two days after the club hangout, my husband came home and I was a bit surprised he came back so early, unlike his usual work schedule. Unknown to me, my husband before coming home had dug into my activities while he was away and found out I had been a promiscuous wife who spends his hard earned money on frolicking with young men and partying. Iyke was unusually quiet and only played with our son upon his return.

The day after he got home, he asked that we go visit my Parents which was not surprising to me. He liked my parents like they were his, mostly my father who he calls an ‘action man”. On getting to my parents’ house I was surprised to see Iyke’s parents there as well, and as we entered everyone focused on Iyke who had obviously arranged the meeting, they wanted to know what the gathering was all about.

My world came crashing down when Iyke looked me in the eyes and asked me to tell everyone present who the real father of our child was. I thought it was a joke at first until he began to recount the phone conversation with his friend who had seen me at the club along with other evidence he had gathered upon his arrival. I couldn’t defend myself, I prayed the ground would just give way and take me beneath it on that day, but that didn’t happen.

My husband kept piling accusations and evidence against me to the disbelief of everyone “I work day and night for you and Ramsey to have a good life, I provided for you and cared for you and your family and all I get is you defiling our marriage and turning yourself to a whore in my house” Iyke  said in an outrageous tone, “I should have known, girls like you don’t turn out fine, a club girl I met you and you have decided to remain one”

The horrified look of disbelief on my mum’s face when Iyke said this was like twenty daggers hitting me at once. “Well my wife, let me not alter your course in life, you can return to clubbing your life away, I’m no longer interested in this marriage anymore. As for my son, I will continue to love and provide for him after a paternity test has been carried out to confirm he is mine, then I will file for custody of him. You will be served by my lawyers, the Marriage is over”

With that he stormed out of my parents’ house, not even the pleas of my parents telling him to wait and reason with them could stop him. The disgusted look on his parents face as they followed suit was enough confirmation to nail the coffin of my dead marriage shut.

That’s how my fairy tale wedding became my nightmare by my own doing. My parents would have nothing to do with me as well. My father bluntly refused to house me saying I no longer have a place in his compound. I have since sent numerous friends and family who still had a bit sympathy for me to go beg my husband to take me back even though I have been served the divorce letter. I sabotaged my marriage with stupid lifestyle and frivolities. I can only learn to live with my mistakes now.


  1. We don’t know what we have till you lose it… am imagining how you ‘ll live with this situation for the rest of your life.
    Take heart dear

  2. You just use your hand to break the broken plate to pieces. And you just can’t gather or put it back again. This is wonderful. Every dream of a woman. Then we we call home trouble. Seriously so sad.

  3. Everyone has been quick to blame the poster, I don’t support what she did but then she is human too and would want to have fun sometimes. Why didn’t the husband always take her along those times he was around and having fun with friends. Poster just piece your life together and keep it moving, this isn’t the end.

    • she could have had fun, but being unfaithful is the main problem. she could have tried speaking with her hubby about her feeling. Anyway she was used to living a lie, even before her marriage, lieing to her parents.

  4. Of course it was a costly mistake. Condemning you is the least solution right now as surely you’ve learnt the hard way. You have to forgive yourself and do the best you can. It will may not be easy but there is nothing God cannot do. First forgiving is very important.


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