My name is Mildred and I would love to share my divorce story here. I left my husband of seven years because of domestic violence. It took a lot of courage to leave and I must say it wasn’t easy at all.
I lost my parents at a tender age. My brother and I lived with relatives; we were passed from one family unit to another until secondary school. I remained with my mother’s sister until university level while my brother moved to the north with an uncle.
My aunt and uncle maltreated me so much to the extent I dropped out of university in my third year because they stopped paying my fees. I began to do odd jobs to help myself. My self-esteem was in shambles and I had only one friend.
While I hustled around, I met my ex-husband Edwin. He was a car dealer. It was when I worked briefly as a sales girl I met him. He didn’t need much to sweep me off my feet; I was a girl in need.
To his credit, he made sure I returned to school and finished my program. It didn’t take time before he proposed to me and I readily agreed. My ex drank a lot and cursed too but I desperately needed to leave my aunt’s home.
I was already pregnant by the time we got married and I had moved in months earlier. The beatings began almost immediately. I received beatings upon any form of provocation especially when he was drunk.
I had my baby safely by a miracle. I wanted to get a job but he stopped me. After two years I got pregnant again but he beat me till I miscarried. I lost two children after that. I had my second child successfully because he was always out of town during that period.
Domestic Violence and Thoughts of Divorce…
Nobody knew what was happening because he had also restricted my movements. He only gave me enough money for the children’s needs, nothing for me. I had to cut my hair because I could no longer pay to make it.
Depression and suicidal thoughts plagued me. I wanted to leave but I had nowhere to go and I didn’t want to leave my children behind. My husband abused me endlessly and stated that I was nothing without him.
Truly I felt like I was nothing without him. Eventually, I found myself in the hospital with a broken leg and I began to seriously consider leaving. I reached out to a former classmate and she took me to see a therapist. That was when my self-esteem began to return. My school group rallied around to raise some cash for me to start a business and rent a place.
One morning before 5 am, I gathered my few belongings and took off with my children. It was difficult at first but we sailed through. My business is growing steadily and I still have support from my few good friends.
I never knew I could make it by myself but that has been the major lesson I’ve learned in this whole process. Ladies, if you are being violated in your marriage please leave, you can make it on your own.
My ex threatened my aunty to reveal my whereabouts but she doesn’t even know where I am now. He has been telling who cares to listen that I’m an ungrateful woman that I paid him back wrongly after he took care of me.
I’m just waiting to gather enough money to take him to court so as to get an official divorce and sue for child support with evidence of battery on me. thank you.
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Mildred’s story tells it all. Nothing more to add. Domestic violence is a no-no from whichever spouse. The only issue I have is how long that it took her to leave the marriage.
I advise that Edwin goes for anger management therapy not just for this marriage but for his future relationships.
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