Good day dear Ross T, I’m writing you out of frustration, cause I need answers. My name is Ugochi, My marriage of 9years crashed in spite of all I did to salvage it. I was sent packing like a maid with my 2 sons after giving my husband and his family the best of myself for nine good years.
I married my husband shortly after I finished Law School and we moved into his family house, where his parents and 4 other siblings lived. Now, one would ask me why I did that. I was never in support of living with his family but my husband convinced me that all will be well. He was the first child and was overseeing the family’s nylon factory which wasn’t doing so well at that time up to when we got married.
At some point, he promised me we won’t stay in his family house for too long and that once he was able to save the business from collapse and is financially buoyant, we would definitely move out. So I kept praying for us and supporting him in every way I could. Thankfully, barely a year after the marriage, things started going well for him and the factory was thriving, but each time I raised the issue of moving out, it always caused a huge argument between us.
His parents and siblings got to know I was clamouring for us to move out and they immediately turned against me. Not that they were any good to me before then, but their hostility increased. It got to the extent that his parents took me as the enemy who didn’t want them to reap the fruit of their son’s labour.
When the kids started coming in quick succession, giving me no time for career, I had to give up my ambition of practice because I took in immediately after my wedding. I didn’t feel too bad about my decision because I wanted to be there for my children, though I now regret not planning well or pushing harder for my career.
Having to depend on what my husband gave alone made me regret not having my own money. Any time we quarrelled, he would leave me with nothing plus the fact that his family saw me as a gold digger who was out to wreck their son, as though my prayers and support didn’t go into building their almost dead factory.
Divorce Loading – Accused of Theft
There was a time my husband’s siblings accused me of theft. One of them claimed that my husband had given him some money to keep and he couldn’t find it in the house and since I was mostly home I should know the whereabouts of the missing cash. The issue escalated over the next few days and almost resulted in my husband’s sister beating me up but for the fact that I stood my ground and would not be intimidated.
The painful part was that Instead of getting my husband’s support, he took his siblings’ side and accused me of being rude to his family. I was accused of stealing the money because he had stopped my allowance over a quarrel, and his siblings believed I took the money in revenge.
Divorce loading – Accused of Infidelity
Shortly after the birth of our second child, I was accused of infidelity to the extent that my husband and his family connived and carried out a paternity test on my kids without my knowledge. It was during an argument that his youngest sister blurted out that I was a prostitute which was the reason my husband had to carry out tests on the kids to be sure they were his.
This revelation weakened me and I was distraught by the way I was being treated by my husband and his family.
When my husband came home, I confronted him about the paternity test and he didn’t deny it, he instead rained more insults on me and asked that I leave him alone to face his life as though I was a hindrance of some sort.
Divorce matters – My Past Shows up
The Final straw for me, was when my husband made some allegations against me about my past. I had dated a guy for whom I had gotten pregnant back when I was young and naïve. I then had an abortion without anyone knowing except my ex and a friend of mine who helped in getting rid of the pregnancy. After that happened, I broke up with the guy as I realized he wasn’t good for me. I also blocked him on Facebook, and every other platform we communicated on.
Unknown to me, my husband hacked into my account, unblocked my ex and read our chats. upon finding out about the abortion, he went ahead to tell his people that I was not sincere with my past. I tried explaining to him that I had kept it to myself because I wasn’t proud of what I had done. He refused to listen and started insinuating that I could kill him one day. He came to a conclusion with his family that I should move out.
My parents tried settling the issue but they got insults rubbed in their faces. I begged my husband and in-laws to forgive me for a mistake I made in the past, even before meeting my husband but they wouldn’t budge. Their hearts were stone cold towards me.
Divorce – Kicked out
Finally, when I’d had enough of everything, I moved but not without my children. He threatened to abandon the kids if I move out with them. But I choose to suffer alone to raise my kids rather than leave them with him and allow them grow up in an evil family.
Barely had I moved out, that my husband was given a new wife from his home town. It then dawned on me that that this was probably the goal all the while. This must have been why they were frustrating me in the marriage. I almost committed suicide from battling depression.
Now, the worst is over and I’m beginning to adjust to life as a single mom, I’m patiently waiting for God to vindicate me and avenge me of the wrong done to me by my estranged husband and his evil family. I know one day he will be at my door step begging for mercy and a part in his children’s lives but he’d get none. He will die a lonely man from reaping his wicked deeds.
Marriage Lessons Learnt. How Could I Have Prevented The Divorce
This is how my marriage ended and I eventually got a divorce. What did I learn from my marriage and divorce saga?
First of all, I should have stood my grounds and refused to move into the family house
Secondly, I should never have given up my career and become totally dependent on my husband. Women should never leave themselves exposed.
Thanks for reading my Divorce story. I pray it helps make your marrige stronger.
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