Thanks for the comments from the last divorce story. If you missed that divorce story, you can get the link here. Tinuade divorce story is a bit all too familiar and yet sad. Sad because we have covered these grounds before and yet people still make these mistakes.
I am publishing the story because apparently, people can’t be warned enough. We did a series on “look before you leap“and this falls into that category. Please take out time and go through Tinuade’s divorce story. I would greatly appreciate your comments as they add colour, character, and flavor to the story.
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Terry the smooth guy
In less than two years of marriage, my husband schemed and scammed me until I bled dry. All I had, all I toiled for was gone in an instant. When he finally left me, I realized I was catfish.
My name is Tinuade, I’m a dual citizen of both Nigeria and the UK. I was born in London and spent most of my life there. However, I met my husband during a visit to Nigeria. Sleek and smooth he was, very charming and respectful to women were the first thoughts that came to my mind.
The way he parked blocked my exit from the bank and he was called out to re-park his car which took a while. Upset at it all, I kept grumbling about his careless parking while he kept apologising. After reparking, he introduced himself as Terry, had the gall to ask for my number and promised to make it up to me.
Well, I loved his audacity, plus he was tall and handsome. I guess I was just being curious and I guess my British accent gave me away because he then asked how long I had to spend in the country, which took me aback a bit. Anyways, I agreed to go on a date with him and that was when I got hooked and reeled in catfish.
He got me, hook line and sinker
As I said, Terry was a smooth guy, he knew the right things to say or do to make a lady fall and in no time, I had fallen for him. We had almost a year-long courtship, in which he prepped me for the kill. Trust me, I had no initial thoughts at marriage and divorce was definitely very far off my mind. I just found myself swept off my feet from the attention he paid to me.
Because I saw how good he was with numbers, I started trusting him with my finances and investment plans and he also introduced me to great money-making avenues. Because I wasn’t in Nigeria most of the time, he acted as my eyes and on my behalf when it came to executing our plans. I even started a building project in Nigeria which was to be co-owned by Terry and me.
Seeing how compatible we were I didn’t hesitate when Terry asked me to marry him.
Our wedding was a simple one, we had a court wedding in Nigeria and had a destination wedding in London where my parents lived. According to Terry, he was orphaned at a tender age and had to grow up with an uncle who I met a couple of times. He would talk about how lonely he felt at not having siblings or parents around that it gladdened my heart when my parents accepted him as their own after he told them his story.
Despite our marriage, Terry spent most of his time in Nigeria, seemingly supervising our projects and businesses here in Nigeria and often assured me all was going well. I trusted him with all my heart. How could I not trust him, though? He was perfect in his ways and the way he treated me was something to be envied by other women.
Terry the scammer. Reality time!
Then one day, reality set in and my first blow came. My husband who happened to be in Nigeria a few days after spending summer with me in the second year of our marriage suddenly stopped communicating. His lines were unavailable, emails and texts went un replied. He just went off the radar and I began to panic for his safety. A few more days went by before I reported the case and filed a missing person report in Nigeria.
It was in this process that I got my second shocker, my husband had been low key on a wanted person’s list both in the US and Nigeria. He was wanted for fraud, both internet-related and for love scams.
As a matter of fact, I was his fourth and most recent victim. I found all I was told hard to believe until I was given hard evidence. As if that wasn’t enough, he had somehow managed to wipe my account in Nigeria clean without my notice. The projects and investments he claimed to be handling for me were all fake. I was wiped out, totally cleaned of my hard-earned money. Where do I begin? How do I explain myself?
All of a sudden, I was in so much debt and pain because of Terry. I was trying to save my credit and make payments while hoping I’ll recoup some or any of my money through the legal system when I discovered I was pregnant! It was like the pain couldn’t get worse.
Not only was I mad at the turn of events, but I was also devastated. How do I bring a child into this world only to tell him/her that the father was a scammer, a thief? Nah, I wasn’t having it. It was too much to take and I wasn’t even feeling in any way rational about it. Not wanting Terry’s seed growing in me, I went in and got the fetus removed. I just couldn’t deal.
Divorce and life after
I wasn’t only dealing with heartbreak, but betrayal and wickedness from the one I called my spouse. Anyways, I channeled my hurt into helping the police find him and they got him barely a year later. He was caught while in the process of scamming yet another victim. A substantial amount of what he took from me was recovered and he was sentenced to prison.
It was a bit of release for me and I was also glad that another woman didn’t have to be his victim.
I filed for divorce as well and was granted with no hassles. Then began my road to healing. Healing is what I’ve been doing ever since. I’m still willing to give love and marriage a trial, I just need to be ready. This time, I would be more careful and surely look very well before I leap. It is quite interesting to realise that truly, not everything that glitters is gold.
We thank God for Tinuade’s divorce story and how it ended. It could have been worse. Love can be overwhelming. Someone can get so irrational in love that they don’t bother to do the right checks. It gets even more complicated when you fall into the hands of a confidence trickster like Terry.
I have said it over and over… “look before you leap”. Trust me, a few days of hesitation could save a lifetime of pain.
Thank God for social media. It is getting increasingly difficult for people to hide. Before you date a guy/girl, go to their social media pages. If they don’t have any, be a bit concerned. They don’t have to be active. Ask for their friends. Check up those one’s accounts.
Someone with nothing to hide would happily allow you to look them up. Where do they worship? Who knows them? Build some form of history, find a trail. Everyone leaves a trail. If you look hard, you will find that trail. Don’t just jump off into the deep end, be wise.
I have added some divorce stories here and here along the lines of “look before you leap that could be of help. If you have a divorce story you would love to share or you need some marriage counseling, please send to via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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