My Divorce Story 96: Farouk, I ruined my marriage

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My Divorce Story 96: Farouk, I ruined my marriage

Hello, readers, my name is Farouk and this is my divorce story. I want to share the story of my failed marriage here. I love this blog I must say.

I’m ashamed to say I wrecked my family. I pushed my wife away because I thought I could get any woman I wanted. Fatima was a good woman, I mean she had her flaws (we all do) but she was a good person. In the name of treating her badly, I ended up with something worse.

Fatima

When I met my wife she was a student and I worked in an advertising agency. I was the head of one of the departments.  She came on industrial attachment. Fatima was pretty with lovely ebony skin. I was very good looking, I still am. Yeah, I had it all and getting women was not difficult at all.

I dated the staff of the company (discreetly) and clients. Women rushed me literarily and it made me proud. Like the others, Fatima fell for my charms but at that point, I was not interested in her. She went back to school and we didn’t meet anymore until after she graduated.

The next time we met, I was in another company and she came to drop her Curriculum Vitae. I must say, she looked totally different; more beautiful and mature. I figured I should date her for a while and because she loved me, her answer was yes.

We had a turbulent relationship because I was still philandering. We broke up and made up several times. She eventually got a job and started doing well for herself. I did fall in love with her along the way because she was just a sweet human being. She was surprised when I proposed to her and I remember her eyes filling with tears as she said yes.  We tied the knot after three years of dating.

Marriage

God blessed us with three beautiful children during the period we were married. We both had demanding jobs and juggling that with children was really tasking especially for her. I tried to stay faithful in marriage but I still had random one night stands. Her sex drive also seemed to wane and it didn’t go down well with me. This led to fighting and me taking her for granted.

I stopped paying her compliments and giving her attention.  Staying out late became the norm for me. I met Itohan on one of those late nights. She had all the right curves and was very creative in bed. I got hooked on her; she seemed to outshine my wife.

My wife began to complain about my behaviour and cheating. I waved her off bragging that I could get any girl I wanted. Then she threatened to leave but I laughed and asked who would want her after three children. I also called her fat and outdated; I felt bad as I watched her cry. She stopped sleeping in our room after then. Even our children started acting funny towards me. Itohan helped me forget my home troubles for a while.

Truly, I took Fatima for granted. I knew I was hurting her but I assumed she would still be with me. Getting a divorce was far from my mind But, the divorce did happen eventually.

Itohan and divorce

One day I came home and discovered Fatima had moved out with the children.  Months later she served me divorce papers. Itohan moved in with me but I had lost my peace. She was nothing like Fatima; I found myself comparing them all the time. She gave me stress even though we were not married, trying to control every movement I made. To cut it short, that relationship didn’t last.

I have been begging my ex-wife for a reconciliation, but I know I hurt her so much. She hands her phone over to the children whenever I call and ends the call before I can speak. I miss the stability I had with her. Men, trust me it’s not better out there. Thank you for reading my divorce story.

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My thoughts…

One key driver of divorce is the thought that the grass is greener on the other side. Have you noticed the way that the traffic on another lane seems to be moving faster than the traffic on your lane? That is until you move to the other lane and find that it is the same.

So many marital issues and divorce cases could be resolved with discipline and treating your spouses right. Don’t take your spouses for granted. Once you do, disaffection and dissatisfaction creep into the marriage. Most spouses would react well when you treat them well.

Couples also need to learn to spice up their marriage. If my editor reminds me, I would do an article around spicing up the marriage and making the marriage sweeter as the days go by.

Please put down your comments. We do love your comments as they add a dimension to the stories. They also help other readers to get a broader perspective of issues. If you have a story to share or need my counsel, reach me via ross.t@davinadiaries.com

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