Thank you so much for your comments and views on the last article. Today we bring you another divorce story. You can send in your story to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please read and drop your comments, share your experiences. Thank you.
Everyone Else Knew But Me
I remembered the first time I met Dotun. It was after a particularly long lecture in 300l. He was a popular dude and very handsome. I had been so tired and was hurrying to join another course mate home. Dotun was with his friends as I walked briskly past them my mind on the free ride I would be getting, he stopped me.
‘hey, pretty girl’. I turned in astonishment.
‘Me?’ I asked looking around.
‘hahaha, yes you.’
‘Please I’m in a hurry’ I said and continued my way.
He came after me and blocked my way.
‘I’m joining someone home, please’ I said as I made to move past him.
‘I’ll drop you off’. I paused and looked at him. He looked really handsome especially as he was smiling at me.
Thus began our relationship. Everyone knew us in school. My friends were sceptical about the relationship and believed it would end after graduation. Oh, and I had to compete with several other girls to keep my man but that didn’t faze me.
Shortly after our mandatory NYSC scheme, Dotun landed a big job and soon bought a car. He then proposed to me and I was elated. I took him home to meet my father and stepmother. I remember how my father paused for a long time when I introduced Dotun excitedly. After Dotun left, he called me and said he was uneasy about him. ‘Why Daddy???’ I had queried. ‘Is it because he’s not from our tribe?’ My father assured me that tribe had nothing to do with it.
I didn’t budge and finally, the wedding took place. It was a glamorous one, well attended by our friends from school and family. The first year was bliss, I did not have a job but Dotun provided all I needed. I happily cooked, cleaned and took care of him dutifully. Then I got pregnant and excitedly broke the news to him. He didn’t look so happy but congratulated me. I wondered why. Sadly I lost the pregnancy in its fifth month. I was devastated; Dotun, on the other hand, seemed relieved and took it well.
and our relationship woes begin…
One of the big advertizing firms offered me employment which I gladly accepted. I needed to keep busy to forget the child I had just lost. Shortly after accepting, Dotun became increasingly demanding on the relationship. He wanted freshly cooked soup every day and didn’t care how long it would take. I would arrive home by 7 pm and begin to prepare soup even though Dotun had been home since 5:30 pm. This became the new system, I had to compulsorily pass through the evening market on my way home every day.
I fell pregnant again and told my husband. He congratulated me but did not stop his demands for new soup every day. On my fifth month, I fainted in the office and was rushed to the hospital. When I opened my eyes, I saw the doctor standing over me looking concerned. I recognized her as an alumnus of my school.
We exchanged pleasantries and she began to advise me. She said I was stressed out and needed to rest. I explained my ongoing ordeal to her with Dotun to her.She shook her head sadly and made as if she wanted to say something more but kept quiet. Luckily the baby was unhurt. I was in the hospital for a few days during which she became quite close to me and visited me every day. After I left, we retained our friendship and She also introduced me to a women’s prayer group which held meetings once a week. I promised to attend. She said she felt my troubled marriage was a spiritual problem.
The advertizing firm agreed to allow me to close a bit earlier until my delivery. I began to attend the prayer meetings which were not too far from where I lived. Dotun was angry about the prayer meetings and warned me not to attend anymore. This led to a major fight between us and Dotun moved to the guestroom. He also increased his demands on me even as I was heavy. He began to call me names as well.
At one of the prayer sessions, I was told that someone close to me was trying to hurt me and my baby for rituals. The baby came safely and for a few months, that was the only thing that united us. Our newborn son was the peace of the home. After some months I began to attend the prayer meetings again. This time I attended because I kept having nightmares, seeing strange people in my dreams. The president of the prayer group warned me repeatedly that she was dealing with a fetish person within my family.
My husband got increasingly violent and I wondered if he was the family member I had been warned about. When my son clocked a year old, I found myself pregnant again. I did not know how to respond to the news. I had been through a very rough pregnancy previously and my husband was still treating me like a maid. My second pregnancy was even more gruelling. I almost lost my life in the process if not for the prayers from the women group.
Dotun was not happy and he showed his displeasure. I gave birth to another son. I called my father for the first time to tell him all I was passing through. He listened and then laughed. ‘But I told you ‘he said. ‘Manage the situation, there’s nothing I can do.’ At that moment I wished my mother was alive. I cried desperately as I ended the call.
my turning point…
Dotun still hated the fact that I still went to the prayer meetings from work. He had resumed eating fresh soup every day. One day while I slept with my children, Dotun set the house on fire at night and sneaked out. The smoke woke me and I screamed as gathered my children and tried to make my way out of the house. I narrowly made it with 2nd-degree burns to my body, my children were burned too.
While we lay in the hospital, Dotun showed up acting sympathetic. One look in his eyes told me he was responsible for the fire. While the doctors accused me of being careless, Dotun was praised for being there for us after the incident.
Days before her discharge I called up a close friend of mine who was a lawyer. I decided I had had enough of the relationship. I wanted a divorce and I was not going back home from the hospital. I moved in with her friend while she worked out the divorce. My children stayed with her too. My doctor friend came over to see me and we talked. She wondered how l did not know that my husband had been a cultist back in school. She knew that Dotun had taken advantage of my naivety.
the end of the matter…
Dotun has since moved on to someone else. He didn’t even wait for the divorce to be through. I feel sorry for her though. Sometimes I wonder if she is alright. while I’m trying to put my life back together as a single mother of two. We only communicate on issues regarding the kids. He isn’t as forthcoming to them though.
This is my story it is worse than this but I have kept a lot out. I should have seen the warning signs from the beginning. How come I didn’t? maybe I was too much in love. I hear often that good girls love bad boys. Could this have been the case? Anyhow, I am glad I got out alive. it could have been worse. Thank you.