Thanks for your mails and comments of last week. They were quite illuminating.
If you are new to this discourse, please read last week’s article before you continue
I started talking last week about qualities that highly marriageable ladies possess. Now what are these qualities? Most times, people’s minds would go to the usual suspects – humble, calm disposition, home maker,. People would also look at abilities such as good cook etc.
However, these days, these are not enough to get a girl married.
So what qualities do highly marriageable ladies possess? These qualities are abstract in that they are composed of several qualities in themselves. The 3 key qualities I have identified are:
I will take these points one by one and deal with them exhaustively. In case you are impatient, please remember that it is not my fault you are not married – #JustKidding. Actually if you read the heading of this article, you’ll see that it is termed a practical guide, not a read and abandon.
I will first of all discuss the key quality and then look at the features of that quality. In another article, we would take the points in-depth.
So you want to marry… You must be available
The lady who wants to be married must be available to her suitors. They must see her and know she is available. Availability is an art that must be mastered but it comes naturally to the highly marriageable lady. Points of discussion here include being seen, where you are seen, how you are seen and what signals you transmit when you are seen.
You just can’t find the lady. She says she wants to be married but you don’t see her. If she is not at work, she is locked up at home. If she is in church, she comes in on her own, runs to one corner usually at the back to hide and quickly leaves before anyone finds her.
Priding herself as a loner, she doesn’t keep friends. She doesn’t attend functions, weddings, events of fellow colleagues etc. Most times, her circle of friends are so narrow and usually are all married women or friends. She has excuses and reasons why she is like this. She is so protective of her space that sometimes she even shuts friends out. Hmmmmmmm and you want to marry? Maybe it is spirit husband that would find you. A person who wants to be married must be available. Sister, let people see you!!
Where you are seen.
Let’s think like a man. Where would a man go to look for a wife? Definitely not at a night club or some raucous party. Men go look for wives in church, family meetings, gatherings, weddings and other quiet places. Guys classify women into different categories so some girls are wife material, some are girlfriend/playmate material while some are mistress material.
Haven’t you seen a guy with a steady girl who ends up marrying another person? Forget about all the excuses he gave. While still asking for forgiveness from the lady whose heart he just broke, he turns round to continue the relationship keeping her on as his mistress.
Have you not seen over and over a man after all the playing, settles down with the most unlikely girl and people are wondering how come? Where did he meet the girl? Go and ask. Where you are seen is a vital part of getting married. Do a research of where men expect to find wife materials and frequent those areas more often. Your marriageability would increase.
How you are seen
Some sisters are everywhere; they are too available. The lady in reality is a virgin but we get the impression that she has had more than her fair share of men. Some are just too available. Some others think they are men. They laugh too loud, crack all of the jokes a woman shouldn’t crack in public and have no class. One of the sad things to see in life is a beautiful but classless lady.
In these days of social media, a lady should also be careful with the posts she makes, her status and co. when guys want to check out the marriageability status of a lady they run to her social media pages.
In an office where I headed for a year, people were getting married left and right (people get married left and right when I show up). That year, we had about 14 marriages. I tried match-making this particular sister with one or two guys but it just wasn’t sticking.
Everyone was getting married but she was being left behind. Solid fine lady with all the potentials. One of the things she was doing was breaking all the rules of availability. She was too available. Second, she broke the rule of “how you are you seen”. When I asked one of the guys why they were not married, they said “I should forget. She already had a solid boo.” When I asked how he knew, he said if I looked at her WhatsApp DP I would see one correct intimidating guy or another.
So I went to her DP and truly there was this solid looking guy who was in the US army and she had the words “congratulations to my boo”. Another DP had her on the chest of another fine looking guy taking a selfie. So when she came crying to me about man, I asked her about the men in the DP. After being puzzled, she let me know that they were her blood brothers and brought out evidence to show. I just went “Phew!” at the several men she had lost.
Signals you transmit when you are seen
Some women desperately looking for a man transmit signals that tell men to “back off I am taken” You want to marry, yet you unwittingly send off the wrong signal. Men look at women the way they look at traffic light so there must be green, Amber or red. Green means yes I am ready – come! Yellow means, you have to work a bit harder but try. Red means, my nail and hammer are here. When I finish with telling you no, you wouldn’t have the confidence to ask another woman out.
Simple things matter:- wearing a ring on the wrong finger; holy-holy attitude; stuck up attitude; I Too Know; Senior mama attitude; “too big for you boys” attitude; “are you a millionaire?” attitude; “can you feed me?” attitude; I am not your level attitude; I am your new senior sister attitude; chief advisor attitude; you would be marrying your mother if you marry me attitude. Sister, shey you want to marry? Ok now, continue!
Do a simple test on how available are you across the several aspects we just discussed. Let me know the results.
I would deal with these aspects of availability in more detail next week and we will discuss how to turn them round and use them to your favor.
SO you want to marry? Cheers and happy hunting.