Lady, So you want to marry?

So the other day, I saw this beautiful lady, Funke. Funke is on the beautiful side of pretty. Above average height for a lady, dark skinned, soft spoken and with the kind of body that makes men stop their cars and ask if they could pick her.

Funke is a university graduate, speaks very good English and Yoruba and she has a good job. Not a fantastic job but enough to rent a good apartment in a good part of Lagos.

And there’s Funke at 35; she wants to marry but it seems no one wants to marry her.

Ijeoma is a dark-skinned beauty with a fantastic job with one of the multinational oil companies. After putting so much and 10 years into her career, at 37, Ijeoma is an executive. She has a beautiful apartment, her own car and lots of money at her disposal. But, you guessed it, no man.
In a bid to attract a man, Ijeoma has gone to the extent of leaving her car at home and joining the company bus in order to meet Mr right but it just ain’t happening.

See Also: 6 signs your relationship is the perfect marriage material

Abosede is a pretty and cute dark -skinned young lady of 28. Perfectly curved, soft spoken and highly intelligent. Bose has been wanting to marry since she was 21. It just seems like all the men out there are either married, too young or unserious.

Can you identify with any of these ladies?( “and that is how the counseling starts”- not sure what this statement is doing here)

I come across a lot of lovely/ beautiful ladies (choose one)who want to get married and somehow aren’t. Meanwhile, I have seen many guys who want to get married and are not either.

Is it only me seeing it? Somehow, even though we see several ladies ready, the guys don’t seem to be in the marriage space. Some are too young, don’t have good jobs, are not serious enough, etc. it sometimes looks like the girls are ready before the boys. Hmmmmmmm serious matter.

Anyways, with several pastoring years under my belt, I will attempt to answer several of the issues why a lady remains unmarried even when she wants to.

See Also: How Nigerian weddings have ‘Changed’ since Buhari

Please send in your comments, your questions and suggestions. I intend to make this as interactive as possible.

so you want to marry…. Yes, I want to marry!

Now, most times, the women think it is one curse or one demon husband stopping them from marrying or hiding the husband. But the question is how come the demon husband is attacking just you and leaving everyone else? How come that girl uglier than you has problems keeping away the boys and yet, you with all your beauty can’t attract the boys? The only men that come your way are married men? ( and that is a story for another day!)

Something interesting is how some ladies have a problem making up their mind about the various suitors in their space while others can’t seem to attract any reasonable looking man. Hmmmmmm, open your eyes and look.

want to marry 2

See Also: My girlfriend is a habitual liar and cheat but I still love her

So you want to marry?ย Marriageability quotient

The truth is that every woman can be classified along 3 lines: mildly marriageable , marriageable and highly marriageable. So indeed all women are marriageable – how else do you think that plain looking woman got that knockout husband?

While, yes, being fine increases your marriageability, it is not a guarantee. The beauty stands as a magnet to attract but you must add some extra quality. One thing we must notice in these days of beauty makeup is that ugliness is a choice.

So how does a women make herself highly marriageable? We will discuss that in our next topic… Qualities highly marriageable women possess. Get them and see suitors flock around you!

See you next week as we continue talking about “so you want to marry “

Please Click Here To Read So You Want To Marry Part 2

Pastor In The house – Ross T


  1. these ladies i observed, really want to marry but cant really define what they want, they are so unsure of themselve and even though on face~value they can assume to want this or that but u see that they are quick to reduce their value standards if they really had any at all and when someone serious comes around his straight~fowardness or will it i call it out~rightness raises their suspision, eventually mistrust and ultimately a miscarriage of the whole marrital conception, they most probably will settle for less, a vagetable of a man, who are best discribed as “sparrows that neither sow or reap but our heavenly father provides for their needs”. some of these women are control freaks, so full of themselve that only a pawn of a husband can ever fill in the blank space they will one day brandish as a husband. i title the biography of such women as “the twisted twister, who never will be sure of anything and ending up in a limbo”

    • Hi Anonymous,

      I don’t quite agree with you.
      What I think you are painting is a generalized stereotype.

      I have met some of the sweetest, kindest ladies who know what they want but aren’t married.

      Knowledge is power. Sometimes what they haven’t had are people who could guide them into what they should see and do. Read my part 2 and you would start seeing someone the reasons why these ladies have remained unmarried

  2. The basics which is to know who your CREATOR IS AND HE REVEALS THE PURPOSE OF BRINGING YOU TO THIS EARTH IS THE ANSWER every other thing is trying to bring what God did for other people into your mind which will land you into more problems than before. “Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and His Righteousness every other thing will be added to you” (Matt. 6:33)

  3. I have a boyfriend whom I love and loves me more but he has no job. I have a well paid job and i’m highly comfortable. My boyfriend still lives with his parents. Not as if I cant provide him an apartment and even more but I just want him to stand up as a man that he is to do stuffs for himself. I feel if I provide, for how long will I continue? No hopes of marriage yet cos the means for him isn’t there yet. How do I reconcile this?

    • Hi,

      Thanks for the mail.
      Truly this is a tough one and needs to be taken on its own merit.
      It would have been nice to know his age and the circumstances of his life as I don’t have much to go from what you have written.

      There are times when the potential is there and the man is making all the right moves but things haven’t quite come together yet. Then your guy needs all the support you can provide.

      However a man has to be a man and live up to his expectations. From the little i can read from you, I think you should hold on regarding the marriage for a while. Where the holding on seems to be taking too long and the guy is not making the moves he should, i advice you move on.

      Ross T.

      • She said she has a very good job and can provide for him. But I think to keep looking or waiting for a job isn’t the option for now. She could bring out the entrepreneurial skills in him. Give or loan him money to start up something then she will know if he has the opportunity he can stand as a man or not instead of holding to her restrictions when she could turn right.

  4. @Seyi, Both the man and woman must SEEK GOD or you both will REGRET IT. THE GOD OF CHRISTIANITY IS A PURPOSE-DRIVEN GOD. There is One man for each woman as designed by God for those he ORDAINED to be MARRIED on this EARTH {Mtt.19:12}

  5. Marriage has no formula, wat works 4 Mrs A might destroy Mrs’ B home, all men & women r almost dsame just prayerfully go 4 d 1 u like & b ready 2 tolerate him/her just bcos u love dem.

  6. So am anxiously waiting for the second part of this piece. I have also wondered a lot of times what am doing wrongly that it seems as if am the only one the goodnews is not happening too.

  7. I couldn’t make anything out of the post. I was expecting to see specific reasons why a lady would do all she can and yet ,no man. But I couldn’t find. No hitting of major points.
    From my experience,their are many God women still unmarried and many bitches married and vice versa. There is no big reason,everyone can’t be married . Sometimes there are no major reasons. It just doesn’t happen to all.

    • Comment:thought it was just me, couldn’t make any sense out of the writeup. I bet next week will be the same. Talk is cheap in this matter…

  8. If I must say that was a wonderful article and very educational. We see these factors often in ladies and I don’t exactly know if they really realized that they are truly doing these or it is obviously intentional just to scare guy away. These often come to play with the kind of girls who see themselves as big girls, working in a reputable offices and with a good life but the fact is that being that you are privileged doesn’t mean others we at the same time with you. Many of my kind are just too frustrated with this kind of solipsism, graduated from School, no job, instead of a girl whom you truly want to love and be loved back to be by your side, what you see is all you have explained. God help us all

  9. What is wrong with a guy 31-years -old , graduate, and security staff of a reputable firm. Namely making self known by way introduction becomes a problem. In Nigeria there is no job, yet the little one you have a girl you love doesn’t respect it either. Ladies it is time you people turn a new leaf otherwise things will continue to be hard for both sex.

    My regards

  10. I have issues with the man i love and want as my husband, he has no job and now he is talking about going into ministry. And i just met a guy not quite long but he is not serious with me. I just want to settle down and have my family.

  11. O boy! O girl! you cannot just because you want to marry, go and marry someone who is not faithful and reliable. whether you are beautiful, handsome or even ugly, marriage is meant for the matured minds. In case , you aren’t married and you are hoping to get married, please, please,talk to God and wait. better to remain single and be happy than to marry and be shading tears each day.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here