Whenever something becomes “old hat,” whether it’s getting up every morning and performing the same routine or being with the same person for any length of time, the repetition can make things feel a bit stagnant. You start to take for granted all the little things that you once treasured.
And when we discover this issue in a marriage, it can lead to producing a feeling in either you or your partner that you’re being taken for granted and are underappreciated.
And this feeling can occur in any relationship where a spouse perhaps isn’t getting what they need from their partner — it doesn’t just happen when people don’t love each other anymore.
So how can you stop taking your spouse for granted?
According to family and marriage therapist Jill Kahn and psychologist Stan Tatkin, the answer lies in being grateful for your partner. However, gratitude in itself is not enough. The part that many people miss is showing these feelings of gratitude by letting your spouse know how you feel about them.
There are so many ways to express gratitude in your daily life. Whether it’s by giving them a simple “thank you” when they help you with something, or even going out of your way to make sure they understand how grateful you are, there’s no wrong way to express it!
The important part is to actually make sure that the people in your life that you love and appreciate, like your spouse, know how you feel about them and all the things they do for you.
There’s no way that someone can feel taken for granted when you’re consistently letting them know just how much you appreciate them.
It will strengthen your bond with your partner and guarantee that those negative feelings don’t have a home in your relationship.
So how can you do this in your daily life?
Many people don’t know where to start. But Jill Kahn says that in her counselling sessions, she suggests simply that you and your spouse sit down together and let each other know just how much you appreciate them and their time, effort, and energy. In doing this, you will reconnect with your partner and really begin to appreciate their role in your relationship.
Taking the time to make sure that your spouse feels loved and appreciated is just one way that you can make your marriage stronger.
And thinking of all of the things that they do for you can make you realize just how much you rely on them, too. Plus, when your spouse expresses gratitude in return, it reminds you of how valued you are, too — even if they forget to say it from time to time — which helps keep those warm and fuzzy feelings alive.
If you find that you struggle with expressing these feelings, then it might be time to reevaluate where you stand. And don’t be afraid to talk to a therapist about how you can open up to your spouse, either.
So if you want to build a relationship that will last, take the time today to tell your partner everything that you appreciate about them.
Gratitude is a great foundation for any relationship to stand on!